– We find ourselves opening night Misty Moore, Lady Titania, and the Seelie Dance Fighters take the stage – The show must go on! (laughing) – You will be making death saving throws with your performance checks – What the fuck do we do? – Let’s kill Titania – I’ll become a brown bear I would like to throw Steven Sondheim at the pixie – I, Titania, command that you kneel You “Dragon Ball Z” jump into the air (imitating machine gun firing) Titania crashes out of the sky with you on top of her – That is a nat 20 (cheering) – Titania has been slain You wear her shoes, you hold her crown, and your ritual was a success – I mean, who am I to refuse the crown when it’s placed to deftly upon my head? (upbeat electronic music) – Welcome, one and all, back to “The Unsleeping City” My name is Brennan Lee Mulligan, these are our intrepid heroes Say hi, intrepid heroes – [Group] Hi, intrepid heroes – You gotta make the impression of 20s on your thumbs, otherwise the luck doesn’t happen – That’s the dream – I do it on my pointer fingers – Ooh, mixing it up – Ooh ‘Cause you roll like that – Keeping it spicy – Gang, last we left off- (dice clatters) – Fuck – Come on – Oh, no – Oh, no – Where’d it go? – Ill omens Last we left off, our intrepid heroes had just slain Titania, the Queen of the Seelie Faeries, on stage at the premier of “Midsummer Nights”, starring Misty Moore- – Who’s she? I don’t know who that is – Who the hell is Misty Moore? Misty retreated to her dressing room, where she is enveloped in a cocoon of light, and the rest of our gang we left on stage, after their holidays and varies adventures in Nod and beyond You all are on stage, the audience is being let out You see the critic from The New York Times going, “A smashing success Perry, you were a vision.” You see Perry looks at him going, “(chuckles angrily) I’m so glad you liked it.” You see that Em, the angel of Bethesda Fountain turns over to you and says, “Wow, I can’t believe it Does this always happen at Broadway shows? I don’t make it out a lot ’cause I live on a fountain.” – Yeah, I think so – I’d assume so This is my first one, too – I’ve only been to a couple – Absolutely not, no (laughing) Something else is going on – I have to agree with Pete, no – Well, I agree with Kug, so, you know? – Two, two, and two, so (laughing) – I’m gonna have to say that I think this happens a lot – It’s three to two – Okay, well – Ricky, put your pants back on, damn (laughing) – “Well, listen-” – Or don’t – “I got a lot of free time ’cause the fountain’s still broken, so if anyone wants to come to Washington Square Park and get coffee, you know, talk to me.” – Yeah, that sounds great – “I hate to do this,” and you see that Esther’s over in the corner cleaning some blood off of her magical silver bat She’s like, “I heard you saying that you were going to go out for coffee with Esther I don’t wanna be a third wheel, but if I came by and got coffee-” – Oh my god, no, you should totally come – “I would love that That would be so fun.” – Yeah – You see that she- – Oh, my god We should start our own First Wives Club – “I would love that because I don’t ever get a chance It’s kinda been fun, a little adventure around the city I’ve been off the fountain for a while When they fix the fountain I’m gonna have to be kinda stuck there again, so if we do something there, that’s fine.” – Oh, yes, so just come while you’re out – “Yeah, I’m happy to host when I’m back at the fountain, so just like-” – Okay, awesome I love that – She gives a little (kisses) kiss and takes off flying You see that Esther and Wally both walk over You see that Steven Sondheim at the edge of the stage turns to you all and says, “Incredible work You’re all heroes, heroes of New York.” (whooshes) Vanishes – What! (laughing) – Oh, my god, I didn’t even get to do my Little Red Riding Hood for him (laughing) – You see Esther gets Don Confetti She looks at you guys and says, “I’m gonna head back to the Clinton Hill Chantry I’ll see you all there I’m gonna make sure that he I’m gonna put him in a Magic Circle, basically.” She vanishes – Awesome, bye Oh (laughing) – Wally goes, “Wow, dad, this was the best show ever I didn’t know it’s like an open mic where you can jump up and do stuff.” – Yeah Wally, you gotta be careful We both got knocked out there for a second, huh? – “What?” – We almost died – “When?” (laughing) – All right, bud I just pat him on the Good show, man – “Oh, it was great! Where’s Ricky’s dog?” – He’ll be back He’s gone right now- – He died Someone killed him immediately – Pete – What? – But it’s okay when he dies I learned that the hard way- – He’s made of light – Because I tried so hard to defend him- – [Ally] He’s an adult – And then he just disappeared and no one really cared – “Oh, okay He went to a farm Upstate.” – A farm made of light, yes You’ll see him soon – This technically isn’t a lie – This is really sad – “Okay Well, I’d better go back to the apartment-“
– How old are you, Wally? – “Huh?” – How old are you? – “I’m 38 years old.” – (laughs) Okay, great This is I mean, okay, great – “Yeah, I’m 38, I work for the MTA.” – Cool, that’s cool, man – Pete, tell me how to deal with this (laughing) – Yeah – What is the right way to navigate this? – I think it’s just honesty Right, guys? – “I’d better go take care of Dad Bye, guys – It’s his other dog – What? – It’s his dog I gave him a dog – Wait, what? – He named his dog Dad, after me – All right Actually, maybe you were handling it right – Yeah, yeah, yeah – You were probably handling it right All right, I’m sorry – So, it’s just basically the five of you minus Misty that are left on stage right now You see Alissa, kind of concussed, wanders off to go to Misty’s dressing room – Oh – Oh – What do you guys think’s going on with Misty here? ‘Cause that was weird – Yeah, she’s definitely got some explaining to do – Yeah, she was saying there’s a lot that she hasn’t told us, but that it was really important that the show went well, so I think everything was fine – Well, I do think that we helped the show go well – And everything is not fine, people got very hurt – Should we go bang on her door? – Yes, we should – We could politely knock first – Nah, I’m- – I think we can bang – I’m with this, let’s let- – let’s have a vote on a politely knock- – Let’s have Kugrash approach – Yous can bang, I’m gonna politely knock while you bang – You can check the knob first and then you can bang on it – I’m gonna politely knock – Right So, we’re gonna have a three-step process – Gotcha (laughing) You guys walk up and see Alissa already politely knocking on the door Alissa cannot see it, but you see that just light, pure golden light is like, (pulsing) – I rush up and get Alissa to stand back Sorry, clear the way, I’m a firefighter – “Oh Is there’s an emergency? Do you need water, coffee, or-” – We’re good, I just need you to stand clear And I check the knob (laughing) – The knob is a little bit warm, but not dangerously so – Great So, can we bang now? We’ve done the other first two steps – Yes, we can bang – Let’s kick it down if we’re gonna do anything – What? That was a hard 180! – What if she’s- – We kick it! (laughing) – What the fuck? – Rad You guys are- – So Jersey – Go ahead and give me an athletics check – Yeah, that feels right – From politely knocking to kicking down – Yeah – I got a 12 – Bang! You kick the door open (booming) As you turn around you see, Misty is hovering about three feet off the ground Light is oozing all around her She has stripped herself of her skin and is just down to this platonic primal form What does Misty, all the glamor stripped away, as her raw Faerie form, look like? – Just sort of an uncanny valley version of a human Just everything is a little too big, a little too spiky- – Huge eyes Long spiky ears – Yeah Places that should be thin are too thing Everything’s just a little off, too much – She’s like an anime character? – Yeah, or like a video game- – Oh, my god, she’s beautiful (laughing) – Misty, you’re deep in this extremely vulnerable process and your door to your dressing room is kicked open – Excuse me! – Let’s close the door Ricky, can you pick this back up? – Pick the door up – Can I stay and watch? I know you like an audience – As you see the door open, you see that your magic. (sputtering) Hold on one second – Oh, no! – 100% of you are (whooshes) sucked into the room in a swirl of light. (sputtering) – What? – And you guys (whirring) and (imitates crashing) you appear Pete, you immediately are able to protect everyone because you guys are zapped into Nod. (snaps) (soft classical music) As you appear in the Sixth Borough, you are very close to where Broadway is You guys are near the old FAO Schwarz building that was shut down But you see here in Dream, this giant toy store is there Misty, you feel all of the joy and passion and love and adoration that you’ve harvested is now filling your body You’re in a volcanic state, but you are somewhat settling So, you’re kind of making your new body, but you’re in Dream, so it’s a little bit chimeric still And you appear with all of your friends, as you look around and see little sprites and nixies and grigs and pucas and brownies, and little fair folk all in the Dream Realm, kind of rushing over to FAO Schwarz and doffing their caps and waving and bowing as they walk by you All of you are here in Nod together – Do you want some privacy? – What is happening here? – What’s going on?
– I mean, look, I didn’t that that Hi, guys This was supposed to be a private little thing that was happening to me anyway, and- – In our defense- – It wasn’t really anything – We did help save your life – Yeah, look- – Is this like that movie, “Cocoon”? – (gasps) Or “The Fly”? – No, it’s- – Is this like that show, “Wife Swap”? (laughing) But you’re both wives – That is the No, this is what I do every 70, 80 years, I come back Although this time, ugh, I just have never had to deal with the DMV before- – You sound younger – This has never been Yeah, I just every 70, 80 years, I just reincarnate my body into a younger form and then I start over – But you sound younger, like a young person – Yeah, ’cause I’m in a young person’s body – As you say that, you see that your body does start to It gets a little bit taller, though you’re still quite short – Mm-hmm – Your skin begins to coalesce, it’s young and vibrant All of your skin (sucking) begins to move up into your body, your cheek bones raise up, your eyelids and lips, and everything becomes a little bit plumper and more moist, and just natural vibrant color begins to flow into your skin, in the Dream Realm, but your hair and eyes are shifting colors here And you begin to feel all that tiredness and liver spots and the shifting of the hips and everything like that, your body feels good again – I’d forgotten what that felt like to not have that ache- – Sorry You’re still Misty? – This feels great Yeah, I’ve been Misty this whole time But before I was Misty, I was other people And then before that, I was living in Faerie – Wait, so is this like Misty Moore, my favorite Broadway singer and star, just die? – To the outside world, yeah – Oh, my god – Wow – Oh, my god – You’re gonna fake your own death? – Oh, my god – Hey, gang This episode of “The Unsleeping City Chapter 1” is brought to you by our friends at Roll20 This is a service that we endorse so hard that we actually use it in our games It’s not even We straight up use this stuff Roll20 provides the tools you need to game in person or online for all your favorite TTRPGs We’re talking clickable character sheets, 3D virtual dice, awesome maps, tokens for PCs, NPCs, characters and creatures of all types It’s the stuff you need to play the games you love You wanna know how cool Roll20 is? We partnered with them to make all of our amazing battle maps for this current season of “The Unsleeping City Chapter II”, currently airing every week on dropout.tv Go to roll20.net and create your free account today for all the tools, tips, tricks, forums and community you need to make your games better, easier, and more fun And now, back to the show – Oh, my god – Well, I mean, the body that I was living in, I mean, it is kind of like a rebirth, so it’s not a faked death exactly – You guys look back through this sort of, pulsing, this sort of after pulse of the teleportation that brought you here, and you see, you guys are all gone, but you see that Alissa peeks her head around the partially open door, and sees Misty’s body on the floor, and goes, “Ms. Moore! (screams)” And screams, and goes over and she says, “Oh my god,” and starts doing CPR But you see that Misty’s skin is flaking off into just leaves and birch bark, and she goes, “Oh! This is so bad! This is so bad!” – I mean, Alissa was really dumb, but I feel bad for her right now – Yeah – This is- – No, she was bad at her job and now she’s finally doing something right I don’t see what the- – Oh – Wow – All of you guys are taking this very poorly This is cool – No, you’re right, you’re right – I just did a very cool thing – This is not cool – You’re right It’s only because I loved you as Misty Moore, but you know what? Now I’m gonna know you before you were whatever you were, so that’s very cool – You brought someone from the Fae into a populated Broadway show- – No, no, no, no, no, that was not me Somebody else put that mirror on the stage – Well, did you know? To what extent Why couldn’t we get anyone out? This thing happened Did you think it might happen? Did you know that Tatiana was after you? I mean, those When we were in the Fae, when we were in that bar in the Fae- – Yes So, Robin Goodfellow did send me the mirror that Titania and I may have had a few words – What haven’t you told us? It feels like it could fill a book – No, no, no, no (laughing) I mean, look, should I have written my autobiography? Perhaps – Oh, my god I’m gonna kill you – People were- – I hate how attractive you are now – I would’ve bought it – Ugh! – It’s only gonna get worse Now she’s young – As I’m telling everybody this, I’m just gently touching everybody- – Don’t fucking! Don’t touch my heart like that – Stop, you can’t- – Please don’t touch me – We should all come clean, right?
– Yeah – Yeah – I have something (laughing) – Yeah, come clean – I fucking doubt it – Is it that you have a crush on Esther? – On Esther – I should tell you guys that – No, we know – Yeah, no – We know – I appreciate it – Esther knows – You know what? I’m actually pretty I’m probably gonna become really good friends with Esther, so I could try and put in a good word for you – (stammering) If it comes naturally – Oh, it will come naturally – Okay (laughing) Don’t force it, or whatever Anyways I just wanted to be honest – You begin to hear the chiming of the big floor piano over at FAO Schwartz and the ringing of bells You can feel a little tug on your Fae heart strings of some kind of conclave, or something, being called over there And you see, creepily floating through the mist, their black eyes wide open, is Nod, who (whooshing) floats through the mist and goes, “Hey, Pete.” – Hey! – “The conclave.” – What’s going on at FAO Schwarz? – “Oh, the conclave It’s-” – What is? Oh – “It’s a Fae conclave being called because on of the monarchs of Fae has been killed.” And you see that Nod looks down at the crown in your hand and says, “I’m afraid only Fae and the friends of Fae are welcome to come, but that might be all of you guys.” – I don’t know, I mean, you seemed pretty mean to I’m just kidding, you can all come (laughing) – God, I hate you – I love bits! – Incredible – Oh, this new body loves bits This is fun It’s like finding out new things (laughing) – An exuberant Misty, for the moment, walks by You see the beautiful courtyard You look at it and see a whole row of wintry trees, ash, and birch, and rowan, out in Central Park You walk to FAO Schwarz, you walk in Huge toys everywhere and jangling things You see that the Faeries have kind of set themselves up into little minor courts here and there There’s a couple of very bashful-looking members of the pixie mafia who are looking around kind of scared, not having heard from their Don and knowing something’s gone very bad – Where is Don? – I just point threateningly at one, but just keep walking – “Look, hey, it’s no problem Hey, I don’t got no beef with you I got no beef with you Go ahead Come on, hey, you’re a rat, we’re pixies, we’re family.” – I just start kinda pushing Kugrash more, like come on, come on, come on, man – Yeah – I’m just- – I just walk- – He’s not worth it, dog – Creepy little rat point – It’s okay – Unblinking – It’s all right, we’re okay – Waving at people I know so many people here, it’s been such a long time It’s like, oh my god, how’s your cousin? Oh my goodness (squealing) Oh, my god – Everyone’s being It’s of course your big day, so everyone’s being very deferential – Wait, so she’s young and she’s gonna become a queen now? Misty just rules (laughing) – Well, that’s what you get for a whole fight of me forcing you to make death saving throws and you rolling a nat 20 You guys see that there are also a little patch of gross little sewer goblins, but then there are also neon, you see there’s neon butterfly winged Faeries flitting around and spreading neon light everywhere You see, standing by this giant teddy bear, kind of leaning against it, smoking a little thing of purple smoke out of a cigarette in his long camel hair coat is Bobby Goodfellow – Bobby, darling – (sighs) “You look great What should I call you? Do you want a second to figure it out?” – No, I’ve been thinking about it I was thinking Rowan – Oh, that’s- – That’s such a hot name Oh, fuck! I hate you now! Can I cast Minor Illusion to make you like like you used to? – I cast Counterspell on your Minor Illusion – (yells) Fuck you! – I’m burning a 3rd level spell to get rid of your cantrip – You see that Bobby says, “You look fuckin’ good, babe.” – Darling, you look good – “Hey, so, we should get drinks after if you want.” – I would love that – “I’d be happy to I mean, I’m here for business right now, I’m sort of envoy of the Unseelie, but we’ll talk later.” – I mean look, business and pleasure, that’s what we do – “Hey, business is pleasure.” – The business of pleasure – I’m gonna barf Can I peel off? I wanna check out something else – Sure, you can peel off You see also that all- – Can I come? – Yeah – All by themselves is Nod, who is seated on a little cushion by themself – I’ll leave you be – Sort of as their own court, but kind of looks up at you and waves You also see the last little court that appears is a little jack-in-the-box, opens up, and a bunch of little wind-up toys and chattering teeth come out, and a bunch of the clock gnomes come out- – Oh! – And all gather You see Bilbry goes, “Oh, hey there, friends How’s it going?” – How’s that oil, Bilbry? – “Oh, it’s much better now.” You see that High Priestess Hib-Hob comes out She’s got a huge priestess hat, but it’s just a bunch of clockwork and gears all kind of stacked on, and one of those little water dipping birds is on it Goes, “(laughing) Yes, drinking a lot more oil Kingston, you’re right, I do feel a lot better.”
– I’m glad – I wonder if they have your motorcycle – How’s the motorcycle? – Oh, or mine (laughing) – You see that Bilbry looks over and says, “I was thinking about an initial design of an Oh, here we go over here.” And he says, “So, most motorcycles have wheels, right? But I was thinking, why not mix it up a bit? It’s a pogo stick motorcycle! So, it’s a pogo stick on the front, and a pogo stick on the back.” – I love it – Yeah, I mean, yeah – I like that Can I have a special request for mine? – I’m gonna die – Could mine, instead of wheels, have arms, so it looks like it’s a person crawling? – “Now, is that arms on the front and arms on the back, like a four-armed, no-legged monster nightmare?” – Yeah – Yes, I will get to work on that right away – I just made us a new friend, and I feel like it’d be a really good impression to show up to her place for the first time on an armcycle – “100% More of a quad, really, it’s like an ATV, but instead of wheels it’s arms.” – Yeah – Nightmare Imagine reversing, it’s like (laughing) – Sounds like a Miyazaki creature – Yeah, fully – You guys see that Pete, did you want to peel off and do something else, or? – There is something I wanna check out Can I do an insight check to see if this is just a crowning ceremony, and- – Sure, yeah – Eight, no- – Eight? 11 – 11 You don’t think it’s necessarily a crowning ceremony It’s probably that, in addition to some other stuff – Oh, okay, cool I think I wanna talk with everyone I wanna go and check out I might have some new spells, so I wanna check out that weird thing at Hell, the Hellmouth that you guys found – I would think that’s fine I want to interrogate I wanna go meet up with Esther at some point to interrogate Don Confetti, but I’m thinking that won’t happen any time soon – Yeah, maybe we can do both – Stick around – Yeah – Yeah, let’s see what’s going on – Cool So, who’s gonna go peel off with Pete and who’s gonna stay with Rowan? – I’ll peel off with Pete – Okay – Cool – I’ll chill – Sofia and Pete peel off, the rest of you guys remain here – I’ll be the muscle – You see that Nod stands- – I’ve been working out – Nod stands and says, “The conclave is now called to order As a neutral party and monarch of the Realm of Dreams, I invite our Faerie guests here to witness the rebirth of Ms. Rowan.” – Berry? – “Berry And the creation of a new Fae realm.” You see that Nod looks to you and says, “As you have defeated the Lady Titania with the assistance of your heroic mortal friends, I would offer to you that your new position is yours to make The courts have assembled, and ask, on behalf of what they represent, for the right to petition you and give council before your decision is made.” – Sure Speak out – You see that a tiny little neon Faerie, (buzzing) these little buzzing wings says, “Um, hi, I’m Aquamarine, and um, as a representative, um, uh, as a representative of the Seelie Court, I uh, bow to you as the one who has defeated the former queen of the Seelie.” – Just to be clear to everybody here, she attacked me, this is not me attacking her I didn’t want to kill her, but she was very actively trying to kill me and all of my friends – “Um, straight up, no hard feelings because I will be very honest, and I’m not-” – Oh, no, we don’t mean to speak ill of the dead, but also, we’re among friends – “And it feels really hard to say this because obviously, I respect Titania so much-” – Oh, I respected the shit out of Titania – “And all she’s accomplished, and this is a thing that gets said about a lot of powerful female spirits and forces of nature-” – Shrill She was very shrill – “She was very hard to work with She was very hard to work with.” – Hard to work with Just like, my way or the highway – “Yeah, and there’s just no room for talking about things and other ideas ‘Cause like, my whole thing is like, anyone in the room could have the idea.” – Right? – “Exactly.” – Delegation is so important in leadership, I feel like, and she made so much more work for herself by being like, “I only have this one idea.” – “It’s so amazing that you’re this beautiful and so down to earth.” – Stop – You see that Bobby Goodfellow goes, “All right, all right, I gotta My name’s Bobby Goodfellow As the representative of the Unseelie Court, I come from Lord Oberon with his-” – Is he bad? – “I mean, I’ve heard things about-“
– ‘Cause it’s not like he didn’t cheat You know what I mean? It’s not like a marriage that was good Again, I don’t wanna speak ill of the dead- – “Listen, they opened it up hundreds of years ago-” – Right, right, but what she happy about that? – “I don’t know, I think it was one of those things where it was kinda like, we either open it up or we end it.” – Right – “So it’s like, that’s not fair, right?” – Yeah – “That’s why I’m never getting married In any case-” – Hey, Kugrash, what do they mean by “Open it up”? (laughing) – I explain it for a long time (laughing) – You get deep into compersion – I might as well explain it to both of you And I take Wally and Ricky aside – Wally’s here? – [Lou And Ally] Wally’s here? – I don’t know, is he? – No, Wally is not here – Okay, just Ricky then – You see that Bobby Goodfellow says, “We would ask that because the Unseelie depend upon the Seelie to both define and oppose ourselves, we would ask that you return the crown to us, and in exchange, we will acknowledge and recognize the sovereignty of New York as your own realm, and Lord Oberon would be willing to grant you three boons.” – I’m sorry, mm Let me get this right You want me, a person who doesn’t believe in the monarchy, but is still of the Seelie, to give the crown over to the Unseelie Court, and then I just get three favors? – “I mean, they’re full boons, so, you know.” – Yeah, no, I hear you, but I, again, am an immortal being Three for a lifetime doesn’t seem like that many – You see that Bobby says, “I personally question whether you are fully Seelie or not.” – Well, I question whether you are fully Unseelie – You see that the Seelie Faerie speaks up again, Aquamarine, and goes, “Um, I just, again, wanna say that So, our offer would be that you keep the crown and just refound the Seelie Court here in New York as its queen and sole monarch.” You see that Bobby goes, “Let’s make it clear, Rowan Berry is a vampiric entity She feeds off of the hope and joy and passion of the worship and adoration of mortals She’s Unseelie if anything.” – Oh, please I give people hope I gave people courage I lift people’s hearts when they live in darkness That’s the most Seelie thing for somebody to do – You see that Nod stands up at this moment where you say this, and Nod looks at you and goes, “You’re right Ms. Berry, I’m not Fae, but I would like to show you something if I can.” – Mm-hmm – And you see that Nod says, or Nod goes, (whooshing) and magic courses from their hands And they say, “To rebut the words of the honorable Bobby Goodfellow, I dispute the claim that Rowan Berry, or any of her former incarnations were parasites or vampires.” And Rowan, you see visions from all over the world of young kids in their bedrooms singing into the mirror with your poster up – I do it for them I do it all for them (laughing) – You see girls in the back of a minivan on the way to a summer camp asking their mom to put the CD of the original cast recording on I don’t know if Rowan or Misty actually believed that line, but you see incontrovertible proof that you have not taken more than you’ve given And you look out and you see that Nod speaks and says, “It is true that, like many entities, Ms. Berry has sustained herself on worship, but it is a cynical and small soul that believes that worship diminishes the soul of the worshiper All of the people who have loved Misty Moore, and who will love Rowan Berry have had their hearts and-” – We’ll see (laughing) – “Have had their hearts enlarged and their lives enriched through the act of their devotion It does not diminish a soul to give worship or adoration And everything that has sustained Ms. Berry has been given back tenfold to sustain those who found their strength through her.” – I stand up and give a slow clap
(laughing) Nobody else? No? Just me? All right – Nod looks over and says, “I believe the clock gnomes have a rather intriguing offer as a third option.” – Wonderful – And you see that the High Priestess Hib-Hob says, “Well, if you want it, we would be happy to take the crown, and if you wanted a Fae realm of your own to shape it into something more to your liking, if you wished.” – Why are we talking about what I want? This is America, this is the land of hope and dreams of democracy, and we’re coming here and saying that I get to create a court, and I’m leading this court? No, absolutely not The will of the people must stand – All the Faeries look around, there’s a big hubbub You see that there’s one weird pile of leaves just literally going, “Hubbub, hubbub, hubbub, hubbub.” (Zac softly yells) (laughing) (Brennan groans) – You see that Nod stands up, raps their fist on this little table next to them and says, “Then let there be a vote.” (whooshes) And a bunch of little wisps of paper and a little sort of ballot box in the middle open up You see that there are three options on it One is to return the crown to the Unseelie, the other is to wear the crown and become monarch of the Seelie here, and the third is to found a Fae court with the blessing of Nod and have the crown reshaped by the clock gnomes into something else You see that Nod distributes ballots to Kugrash, Kingston, and Ricky – I have a question about this Hi, I’m Ricky I’m not sure what any of this is (laughing) When you say reshaping it into something else, what does that mean? – Like a gun, or a watch, or a bicycle, or really sort of anything you want – But could it be a democracy? Or does it have to be a- – You see that Bobby Goodfellow speaks up and says, “The Unseelie and the Seelie have been monarchies forever because that is the nature of how they were created If you were to found something new and to found it as a democracy, that’s the business of this new realm, whatever it would be.” – Okay, thank you (laughing) – “I don’t wanna go too fast for you Does that all make sense?” – I think so (laughing) Bobby? – “Bobby, yeah.” – Ricky, sir – “Ricky, how’s it going?” – Also, I just wanna say, whatever happens, I just wanna still be an actor I love the stage I don’t wanna Whatever situation that we find ourselves in, I don’t know if I wanna do that forever I mean, maybe I could pull a Glenda Jackson and be in politics for 20 years and then leave and go back and do “Lear” – You see that Aquamarine says, “Well, if you were Queen of the Seelie, we would kinda need you to be queen.” And you see that Nod says, “I don’t have any input on what the shape of the Fae realm in New York would look like after your decision.” – Install Wally (laughing) – I’m so glad you’re not really here right now (laughing) My inner Sofia is whispering all of the worst advice in my ear – Wally for Queen of the Fae (laughing) – Cool You see that the Faeries start putting their votes in the ballot box – It seems to me that the suggestion to build a Fae world of our own, it worries me that I’m the only arbiter, but that could also be a democratic process – You see that Nod affirms that, and they say, “Being the founder of something is a manifestation of the powerful magic you’ve created, but being the founder is not the same as being a leader You could create something and step away from it, if that was your heart’s desire.” – Wally World (laughing) – That’s a real place in Holland – Oh, really? – Let’s just make sure we don’t split the vote I feel like right now the third party candidate is making you the Queen of New York, and we don’t want this crown to go to the Unseelie, so maybe we should all get on the same page here – Yeah Go ahead and let me know how you guys vote
– I’ve generally found the relationship to the Fae as it has been to be beneficial for New York, so I will vote in favor of giving the crown to the Seelie – Cool – That’s option two? – You mean to the Unseelie – No, to the Seelie – That would make her- – So, their option is that you would become queen and rule the Seelie here So, that’s option two – And would you have to live in their realm? – Yeah, pretty much – Kugrash votes to give it to the gnomes – Same with Ricky – Ricky votes for the gnomes, you vote for the gnomes – How does Misty vote? – I mean, I’m gonna go gnomes – You see (whooshing) the ballot was created You see that Bobby Goodfellow says, “Hey, it was worth a shot I’m staying at The Plaza, so-” – Yeah, no fuss, no worry – “No worries.” You see Bobby- – I respect your hustle, Bobby – “Hey, you know, I gotta make moves while I can I’m not in New York for that long.” (laughing) He goes over You see that Aquamarine flies over to you and gives you a little kiss on your ringed hand, sort of crying “Well, I don’t-” (whooshing) the ballot comes out and the clock gnomes start celebrating as the clock gnome option wins You see that Aquamarine kind of cries a little bit and wipes some tears away You see that she looks up at you and says, “Um, I understand why you made the choice you did.” – Aquamarine, I would love for you to come and be a voice in the formation of this new Faerie I think it’s really important to have all of the voices represented, not just the voices of change, but the voices of stability – You see that Aquamarine’s eyes light up and she says, “I will serve you May I ask a favor of you in exchange for my service for as long as there shall be time?” – Oh, a Faerie asking a favor Sure Just this once, go ahead – You see she says, “I will gladly serve you The favor I ask, if you have taken the Lady Titania’s crown, as is your right, if her shoes could be returned so that they might choose a new leader for us in the leader’s absence.” – I’m so sorry You are asking to create a second monarchy within Faerie I think that we did not vote for that – Can I do a perception check on her? – Yeah, do a perception – Okay, nat 20 (cheering) – Okay – Okay – All right – Another day, another 20 – You see that there doesn’t appear to be anything foul or wicked happening around here You see that Aquamarine says, “You’re right, we didn’t vote on it, but-” – Are you worried about what will happen to the Seelie place? – Without a monarch, there’s nothing to protect us from the Unseelie, and I know it’s sneaky, but you did give me a favor.” – Mm, but we didn’t agree that we would, dah, dah, dah Fucking Faeries – You begin to feel the magic of Faerie closing in on you – Shit God, these fucking people Here is what I will agree on Fuck – Give the shoes to Wally (laughing) – God damn – You’re not here – Why is the only thing that I can think- – We’re at a coffee shop – Is the bad ideas that Sofia would have – She’s the leaves – Yes (laughing) – Tell you what While I am the leader of the court, I need the shoes in New York – “If you get something to replace the shoes and don’t need them anymore, then a deal’s a deal How does that sound?” – On the other agreement that the leader of the court in New York is the leader of the court of Seelie, and anybody who sets themselves up as a leader of Seelie is a pretender – “Okay.” – And they are committing an illegal act – “Okay.” You see that she says, “I’m just not gonna see my people destroyed because both their artifacts are gone That’s all.” – I get it. I get it – “And I know that I’m like, small and cute, but I’m not a pushover and I’m not a dummy, so.” – Look, please, hey, look You think I haven’t been ignored ’cause I’m small and cute? – “You’re small?” – In comparison to these humans, absolutely – She shrugs and says, “Okay, so, take whatever time you need, but let me know when those shoes become free.” And you see that she flits off
You see the clock gnomes come over and say, “Well, let us know what you want us to shape the crown into and we’ll be happy to do it.” – Oh yeah, no, I’ll have a little thought How about, ooh – “No rush, take your time, take your time.” – I just don’t want it to get passe, you know? I want something that has some lasting oomph to it – “I understand.” – You know, like what if you get a snap band and then snap bands aren’t cool anymore? You know what I’m saying? – “Snap bands will always be cool,” snap – You know, you’re right – Yeah, do a snap band – Snap bands, they will always be cool – You guys walk from this place as the conclave ends, you bestowed with this new power – Can I have a look at this crown? I don’t know what it does, except for- – It doesn’t appear to have It doesn’t have a trigger on it to shoot spells out of it – Bang – Pew – It does kind of just have the power of that station, of being a lord or lady of Faerie – We’re gonna cut over to Sofia and Pete You guys are dipping out into Nod What do you guys do as you go out into Nod? – I mean, I’m in general just kinda like, acting aggressive (laughing) – What? – ‘Cause I’m your escort – What the fuck? – I’m your escort – Oh, ’cause you said you’d be my muscle – Yeah – Sofia, I’ve been working out a lot, okay? I even worked out with Ricky once – I know You look awesome – And it was a nightmare Thank you – I honestly want to join you guys It sounds super fun – You should definitely come – I used to do Zumba and then my favorite teacher left ’cause she had a kid – It makes all the difference who’s the teacher – Yeah, exactly, yeah – Absolutely Okay, I wanna check out where that growth is that Kugrash told us about – You see it spreading throughout the city, but you can follow it to the heart of the infection And yeah, you see it spreads from the Golden Door hanging over the city, that sort of rectangle of golden light – Cool – And you see that this weird sort of suspended in plasma and blood crumpled and strung out dollars and cents, (squelching) sludge of money moving throughout the Dream Realm But yeah, you arrive at the heart of the infection near the middle of Manhattan – Cool Can I do an insight? – Yeah, go for it – Great, that is a 22 – Awesome What is Pete trying to glean? You definitely see it in its fullness, so you’re using your Vox Phantasma authority to look through the Dream Realm and see all the places that it’s going – I wanna see who put it there and what purpose it’s serving – With a 22, you can see that people put it there It does not appear that some single malevolent force created this, but rather some malevolent forces have taken advantage of this being here and propagated it In other words, it is this weird psychic growth on top of this dream of the Golden Door In other words, it’s not like, oh, the Dream world was great and lovely, and then some evil money thing came and made there be a money infection It’s like, no, this poison has always flirted around the edges of what this dream meant, but rather than forces creating it, you can see that there are forces tapped into it that are siphoning energy and power off of it, and there’s a couple throughout the city, but a bunch of the deepest, most powerful roots are way downtown – Where Moses is – I wanna take out, I have a lip gloss that’s almost done, so I just wanna scoop up the very last of it, put on a layer, and then I’d like to scoop some of the sludge into my lip gloss vial – Cool – So that I have a little bit of it – Yup You get a nasty little vial of this toxic money sludge – So, this is running money to where and from? – Yeah, exactly It’s basically this thing Before when we were talking about the rat race that you guys found in Hell, basically what this is, is it’s like The archetypal dream here is prosperity, happiness, thriving, a home, a this, a that, all this stuff that people want, and then this infection is like, oh, you need me to get that, and then eventually blinds and corrupts people where they’re like, forget the thing they were getting money to get, right? So, like- – Can I see what happens if I shoot it? – I was gonna say, maybe we should eat a little bit – What the fuck? – Just a little bit, a little taste to see if it has an effect – That’s too scary for me, but go for it if you want I’m gonna shoot it and maybe a slice will-
– Let’s shoot it first I’ll Mage Hand it, you shoot it, we’ll see what happens – You go to shoot some of it with your gun, and- – Jesus Christ Don’t eat it, I have a much more sensible idea, I’m gonna shot it (laughing) – You see, by the way, that as you go to collect some, you see that some of this stuff is coming out of you You look at your backpack and see all the bricks and stuff that you re-upped from 53V3N, and a strong- – This is capitalism, so it’s just, I’m seeing a physical manifestation- – Is any coming from me? – Of capitalism – There’s a tiny little thread or tether going to your purse, but it’s not any There’s a thick, nasty root coming out of the block You got a 22 on your insight, right? – Mm-hmm – You look down at it You see that some of the- (Ally gasps) – Sorry, go on – No, no, no You see that it appears to be connecting to some of it more powerfully than others- – The cherry tomatoes – There’s a little bit, there’s some of the weed in your bag has a very thin little trail, there’s a thicker one You see the cocaine and the heroin have these thick rooted things And as you look down, you take out your gun, (gunshot) blam, blast one of the thick arteries, and you look down and see a wall against a warehouse somewhere, someone being pushed up against it and being shot in the back of the head, as you can see that they were dragged out of a Jeep for trying to escape from this cocaine harvesting operation – Great Okay, yeah, fully late capitalism – Right, yeah, yeah – Okay, cool I found what I want – Did you wanna go do something? – That’s okay Go ahead a wisdom saving throw for me real quick – Great What do I add to that? – Two – Okay – So, 16 – 16 – 16, cool You see that this fuckin’ brick of shit in your bag The thing you’re seeing is not unrelated That’s the history of this brick of cocaine is like, oh, someone made this, tried to escape, and the people- – They were forced to scrape plants, and they were, yeah – Yeah – Fuck – And then ran the fuck away and was shot and killed for trying to escape What’s going on with Pete right now? – I’m bummed (laughing) My life choices I’m confused and I’m also really bored ’cause I haven’t been high in a really long time (laughing) – I mean, I’ve got, honestly, a lot of nips on me if you want something – I would but I just am like, am I bored or am I running away, you know? – You’re right Sometimes you need to be bored to figure out what’s going on – It’s true Thank you Do you have a Malibu Rum, though? The alcohol content is so low – I do, I do – I would love just a sip – A coconut one It’s pretty much coconut – It tastes like sunscreen Oh – What was the revelation Pete had a second, it looked like Pete recognized something You went like, (gasps) – Well, yeah, it sounded like some of the stuff that 53V3N got was infected – Yeah – So, was this a specific thing, or was it just tied to the cocaine because that’s the least ethically harvested and bought and sold? – It seems like that’s the thing you’re seeing And you see it, also, as you’re just looking through Nod, you see it coming out of some forms of retail stores, it’s attached to fuckin’- – Slave labor – Yeah – Can I take off- – It’s the ethics – You see there’s a diamond- – I was gonna say, I have some diamond earrings that I swear to God they’re real diamond Can I hold ’em up and see? – One of them has a thick nasty root of evil There’s a diamond on your ring that has a thick nasty root of evil, and then your two diamond earrings have got nothin’ – Oh, so I guess some diamonds are bad, and some- – You look and see- – Some diamonds are real (laughing) – Oh, my god – Yeah, you see two pieces of glass – Your ear is bright green (laughing) – I thought that was because the diamond was just- – Diamonds don’t do that – Casting a green- – No, no, diamonds don’t do that – A green kiss of the real diamond – The green kiss of a real diamond? Is that what you were just saying? – Yeah, that’s the thing we say in Staten Island Eh, okay (laughing) Let’s head back – Cool You guys head back As you guys are catching the L train back out of Nod, headed towards, I presume the Clinton Hill Chantry where Esther is – Yeah – Go ahead What do you guys say when you meet up at the train station? – What happened? – Wild day – Oh yeah, how did it all go? – So, I think that we’re gonna instigate some kind of Faerie democracy We’ll see how it goes I don’t know Sometimes you instigate a democracy and it goes well, and sometimes it doesn’t – Yeah, the gnomes are doing their work – Yeah, I like the gnomes, they seem pretty stable – Can I roll to hide how big of a crush I have on new Misty? – Yeah, absolutely – What would that be? Deception? – That would be deception – 18 – 18. Cool Go ahead and give me an insight check, Ms. Rowan Berry – Do I get advantage on seeing other people’s deception
– No, I don’t think you do – Insight? – Insight – 21 – Pete is hornt up – So stupid – What’s the height difference? What’s the height difference? – I take Pete’s cowboy hat and I put it on – Stop it Give me that back God, you’re so dumb! – Doesn’t it suit me? Don’t you think it looks cute? – Pete, why do you think she’s dumb? – I don’t know, it’s weird when your friend all of a sudden is completely different – Ricky, put some clothes on – Yeah, Ricky, you were naked in that whole judge- – Okay, okay, let him come around to it on his own time – I keep forgetting, sorry (laughing) – You keep forgetting – Yeah, you’re fine – Oh, I forgot – Lovely You guys get to the Clinton Hill Chantry, you walk up – “Oh hey, Ricky, how’s it going, man? Frank.” – Hey, Frank, how it’s going? – “Ah, good, you know? You can’t complain Getting pretty cold out here, little frosty on the old knocker, but you know, it is what it is.” – I said I’d bring you a sandwich, didn’t I? – “Ey, man, it’s not a problem, you know.” – Next time I come, I’m bringing two sandwiches I’m sorry about that – “Aw man, see, this is why I like you, man, you’re such a good guy New York’s bravest, man, I love it It’s great You know, it’s funny, the other day I was talking, they had a different-” – Yeah? (knocking) (coughing) – Keep going, sorry – (whooshes) Door swings open You guys walk in, see that there’s a large room in the chantry Esther’s moved one of the tables so that in the center of the floor there’s this runic magic circle, and Don Confetti with his hands tied up behind his back is sort of sitting kind of in the middle of this little circle, very unimpressive looking now that he’s not surrounded by his pixie mafia He looks at all you guys as you come in He goes, “I’m not talking to nobody, I’m not saying nothing without my lawyer.” The door closes and he does, “I will fully cooperate with everything you wanna do I will spill all the beans Please, please help me.” (laughing) – Darling, I’m so glad that you’re being sensible about this – All I wanna do, I regret my life of tiny crime – Can I just cast Zone of Truth on him? – That’s a good call – Oh, yeah – Sure – That’s a good start – Yeah, I cast Zone of Truth – You feel him fail You feel the spell come into effect So, Ricky, you stand up and sort of command this zone of honesty around you What does Ricky creating a zone of honesty look like? – How big is the zone? – It’s a 15-foot radius – Are we all in it? – We are all- – Oh no – I try to back up a little bit – Oh no – I’m gonna need some wisdom saving throws from you guys, actually – Oh, god – Oh, no – Oh, I got a nat 20 – Ooh – I’m all good, 22 – Yeah, I’m good, 21 – 21 – What a waste of a nat 20 – A 19 – I wanna say, roll with disadvantage ’cause you’re rattled by Rowan over here – Goddammit 14 13 – 13 Pete, you fail (laughing) You fail the save – Rowan, are you gonna start studying? – I scratch the bag of your head – Stop Are you gonna start studying acting again, or what’s your schedule gonna be like? – I don’t know Isn’t it so exciting? – Don Confetti! – That’s so exciting – I love it so much (laughing) I cast Minor Illusion so we all look like the really ultra hot DAs from “Law & Order”, just really well fitted lawyer suits – Oh, my god, cool – Yeah, yes, sir So sorry – I command you to tell the truth! – Did you get Southern all of a sudden, Ricky? – To tell the truth – (laughs) You see- – He is but a humble Southern lawyer – You see he- – Got suspenders on – He looks at you and goes, “I don’t know if you’re speaking on behalf of the fire department or if you’re legally allowed to make these demands, but I accept, I submit to your authority, and I agree What is it you wanna know?” – Ducky, what’s going on? – “Okay, here’s basically what’s going on So, I was sent here a long time ago by Titania to basically oversee some Faerie business here in the city You had run away and you were here with the shoes and that was the thing I was maybe supposed to consider, you know, looking after But when I had got here, very quickly Robert Moses, he was, at that time, not a businessman, he was actually the head of a lot of civic organizations It had to do with infrastructure, and he was responsible for building all the major highways in New York.” – See, the banality of evil That is so goddamn boring – “Yeah, he got a-” – Of course the most evil guy is the guy that built the highways It’s so dull – “Yeah, he’s real bad But he built the highways, and pretty soon, the highways made it so that Titania and people like that couldn’t come here, you know what I mean?” – Mm-hmm
Potato, potato – “So, you know, when the cat is prevented from accessing you because of a series of highways in the shape of a hex, the mice will play So, you remember how we are Faerie pays a tithe to Hell About 10% of what Faerie makes has to be paid to Hell, part of an old agreement I stopped paying my taxes to Titania when the highway hex was finished, and Robert Moses found out, and they did me for tax evasion Can you believe it? Me, a mafia boss.” – That’s (stammers) I get it So, you were working with Hell because they had something on you? – “I was working with Hell because unlike Faerie, they had somebody on the ground here in New York.” – Who’s Bob Moses? – That’s Robert Moses – Who’s Bob Moses? – “Isabella Infierno, who was working for Bob Moses So, that bag I gave to your brother, that was them The Bicicletas have been ferrying my tenth, my tithe, to Isabella Unbeknownst to me, I found this out in the last day or two, she wasn’t giving any of that back to Hell.” – What? – Where was she bringing it to? – “Well, a lot of this magical stuff and ritual gear and yadda-yadda-yadda-” – She was just spending it on herself – “On herself and on Mr. Moses.” – See, this what you gotta do You go in, you get the gig, you say, “Pay me half as a check,” and then you get half of it in cash, and then you pay the taxes on the check – You’re kinda sounding like you’re old self again (laughing) – It sounds like Robert Moses is trying to play both sides, and then protect- – Really, he’s just- – He says- – Working for himself – He’s just trying to create his own realm that he has ultimate control over – And stop Hell and Faerie from getting in here so that he can kind of rule everything, or rule New York unopposed – King of New York, huh? – “Looks like it.” – I don’t like it – So, then that would put you against him, probably – I mean, I’ve been against him Oh, I should tell you, he did come and visit me on Christmas day – What? – For what reason? – Just some real big boy, “I’m the boss around here,” kind of moves, nothing solid, he didn’t say anything real – We should go visit him – Wait- – “But you are right Robert Moses didn’t try to play Faerie and Hell against each other, he successfully played Faerie and Hell against each other.” – How does Heaven factor into this? Is Robert Moses playing them at all? – “No, not that I’m aware of But,” you see he says, “that was the one kinda hole in his plan, was the idea of, he knew how to play these games with Hell and Faerie, but you can’t sell your soul to Heaven They won’t buy your soul So, basically it’s, he had to find some way to square his soul with Heaven that wouldn’t have to do with-” – The Bethesda Fountain – The list – Or the list – “Oh! Yeah, that’ll work Yeah, for sure.” – Damn – Do you know where the list is? – “All that stuff that we took went to Moses.” – Oh, so you did take that – “The list we took.” – And the pixies that went down for that, was that just a favor? You just threw those guys under the bus? – “They’ll be well taken care of on the inside Sometimes members of the family gotta take the fall for the organization.” – What about the clock gnomes? Was that you guys, too? I pull out the little baggie of pixie dust – As you pull out the pixie stuff you can automatically see that it sort of sprinkles off – Oh yeah, no, this looks right – You see he shrugs and says, “Moses wanted the Big Book of Bits and Bobbins – The what? – Moses wanted the Big Book of Bubs and Bauble? – The Big Book of Bigs and Bubses? – [Brennan] “Are you making fun of my speech impediment?” – No, it’s called- – The Big Big of Big Bida – It’s called the Big Book of Bits and Bobbins, right? – “The Big Book of Bits and Bobbins.” – Yeah, the Big Book- – The Big Book of Bits and Bobbins? – Big Book of Bits and Bobbins – The Big Book of. (laughs) We all know about the Big Book of Bips and Bobbers – We all know what it’s called, and we all know how to say it – “Yes, exactly.” – Wait, so, he has everything now, right? He’s got the list, he has the ability to make a stone- – Has the key to the city – Key to the city – Has the key to the city – The Time Stone – He’s got the Time Stone – Where is he? – “Your guess is as good as mine He doesn’t give me his location We had drop off points.” – Do you know what he’s- – Esther You got a read on where he might be? – You see that Esther shrugs and goes, (sighs) “I wouldn’t know where to start looking for him, but,” she goes, (sighs) “if only we still had it, but it’s been missing for years.” – What? – “The Sardinian Eagle.” – The Sardinian Eagle? – I like that – “The Sardinian Eagle is an artifact It’s an extremely powerful artifact that (Lou chuckles) it can help locate and find areas of extreme magical importance If we think that there’s a chance that Moses is going to do some kind of ritual or cast some kind of important spell, then the Sardinian Eagle would be able to help us find that location.” – What’s it look like? – “I believe the Sardinian Eagle was-“
– Look like a bird? – Was it up someone’s- – Was it in someone’s ass? – Up someone’s butt – I know where it is Y’all ain’t gonna like that Y’all ain’t gonna like where it is, but I know where it is – “Why? You know the Sardinian Eagle We need to get our hands on it as soon as possible.” – Oh, we don’t wanna get anyone’s hands on it – I think we wanna cover it- – I’ll put my hands on it – Grab it as soon as we can, what are you talking about? – No, nobody wants to put their hands on this with where it’s been – Oh Can I ask a question? Where’s Bob Moses from? Which realm is his like, where he’s from? – “From my understanding, Mr. Moses is a powerful form of undead.” – Wow, but he’s not a vampire ’cause I can see him – So, the undead aren’t necessarily from Hell, that’s kind of like, their own breed – “Exactly.” – They’re from our plain, right? – Oh- – “The undead-” – Perhaps they’re creating an undead realm – “You might say that the undead are more committed to being from Earth than even the living are They sure have a hard time letting go.” – Mm – Yeah – Hmm – That’s really insightful – Look, no judgment (laughing) – “I wanna point something out-” – No judgment on that – “I know that I got clowned pretty hard in the last fight I’ve been running a very successful mafia organization for decades.” – Look, darling, no judgment – You threw your daughter a beautiful wedding – “Thank you.” – It was very pretty – “I actually put a lot of thought And she’s my fifth daughter to be married and we didn’t skimp on expense ’cause every-” – It was really beautiful – You could feel that when you were there It didn’t feel like you chose favorites – It was truly magical – “I am a bad man I’m a bad man-” – Oh yeah No, I think you’re a fuckin’ piece of shit After this I am going to beat you up – “I am a piece of shit and you are welcome to beat the shit out of me.” – Yeah, I’m going to – “I can’t stop you.” – I got a fuckin’ spell slot left – I’m like, hey Come on, Sofia – “Every woman should feel like a princess on her special day, and I believe that 100%.” – That’s great Okay, so, Bob Moses really wanted me to work with him Should I pretend like I flipped? Should I go meet him? – Ooh – I can also get the Sardinian Eagle – Yeah, let’s get the I think trying to trick some kind of crazy primordial being is just gonna blow up in our face – The amount of knowledge that he knows about us, he probably in some way knows that you just said what you just said – Pete, you can’t even hide the fact that you’ve got a crush on Rowan – I fucking don’t! (laughing) – What? – What the fuck? No – No, Pete would never – Hey, you’re under the Zone of Truth right now (laughing) – I – Can I text- – I do I do – Somebody in clerical stuff- – I have a huge crush on you – At the hospital to get- – Who are you? – Fine, you know who I am – To get Lowell Masters’ address? – You shoot a text over to Emiko, Ricky’s sister, and she texts back and says, “Yeah, he hasn’t been in in a while Why?” – Fuck – “Are you worried about something?” – Yeah, based on our last visit I just wanna check up on him – He probably lives pretty close to the location of your hospital, right? – Yeah, well, I just wanna get his address – I have a spell – Yeah, I have the Bagel – I can text somebody and get an address real quick – Yeah, you get, yeah – Or we could use magic – Nobody needs to use- – you know? – We don’t have to use magic- – We can use magic- – But why wouldn’t we use a magic Bagel? – We can use magic all the time – Okay – I cast Hellish Rebuke on Don Confetti – We can use magic – (yells) “Stugots! Bada-boom!” – Oh wait – Oh no – Do you know- – Okay, we don’t need to beat up every- – It was just a bit – Who was it that took care of my friend Sofia’s husband? – That was Isabella Infierno who did the deed – Yeah – Did she kill him? – Do you want to know? I Mindlink with you privately Do you want to know details? – I’m pretty sure I know the detail I suppose when I saw his spirit it was in tact, and so perhaps that gives me the illusion that he had a sort of, peaceful, honorable death I guess if he was put through a garbage disposal I don’t wanna know that I’m gonna take five – Cool, I’ll walk with you – [Emily] I walk to the bathroom – We can go get coffee, or something? – Esther, you wanna grab that coffee? – Esther nods and says, “That sounds like a good idea Let’s do that It’s also very late You have all just been through a knock down drag out fight Maybe we do tomorrow we’ll grab a cuppa Joe and you can rest? We have a bed here if you wanna crash here.” – Yeah, do you wanna snuggle and watch “Killing Eve” on a laptop? (laughing) It just sounds really soothing right now – She says- – I’ve heard about “Killing Eve” – “I wanna be very clear about something Sandra Oh is the most underappreciated actress of-” – She’s fucking amazing – “Why is no one We’re gonna watch ‘Killing Eve’, I’m gonna run down to the bodega, I’m gonna grab a pint, and then What’s your favorite flavor of Ben & Jerry’s?” – Oh, I thought you were talking alcohol – Ricky loves “Killing Eve” Weren’t you just talking about that? – I love it I haven’t seen it, but I love it (laughing) – I look at you like, you fucker – I don’t wanna make a big deal out of this, but when Sandra Oh was very young, she did take a workshop with me, and she already was incredible – That is so interesting Tell me everything – Yeah – You see that Esther looks over Don Confetti says, “It seems that my business here is concluded.” Esther turns and says, “All right.” Lowell Masters’ address pops up on your phone right away You have a little nurse app on there that you can pull up the Emiko sends the records to you You see that Esther turns to you, Kugrash, and goes, “But wait a minute, does Moses have everything he needs? Because-” – Wait a second – “Because Nod still, the door can’t be opened
It’s locked without a lock on it, so even with the key, there is no locked-” – What about the book- – well, but isn’t he trying- – That’s the Time Stone – Create a lock? – The Bits and Bobbins? – You see that Esther goes, “No, Nod has forbidden a lock to be created-” – But what about, go for it – If the lock was created on Earth and not in Nod, Nod wouldn’t have jurisdiction over it, would they? – You see that she says, “To my understanding, Nod, they have also barred the entry of a lock into-” – But Sinatra’s Law – Yeah – Mm-hmm – Yeah, Sinatra’s Law – That thing you explained to me – If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere – You see that Esther looks over to you and says, “Sinatra’s Law?” – Yes – You see that she says, “Right An object…” She goes and gets the big tome down and she goes- – I help her – She goes, “An object that is barred or abjured from being conjured, created in a given locality can be conjured or created in that given locality if it is first conjured or created within the five boroughs of New York Sinatra’s Law, the imperial axiom If you can make it here-” – You can make it anywhere – Oh, no – So, they’re gonna make it and then bring it to the door – Or they’ll make it here and then they’ll be able to make it in Nod – Yeah – You see that- – You’re so smart (laughing) – We all figured it out, Pete – God – Just so I have a clear visual of this, how tall are you, and how tall are you? – I’m 5’9, pushing 5’10, actually – I’m like, 5 foot 1 and a bit – Oh, I thought pixies were like, two feet tall – No- – Oh, that’d be hilarious – Misty was like, 4’10 and Rowan’s like, 5’1 and a half – Okay, cool, cool – Awesome – Pixies are small, faeries are a little bigger – So, you see- – Fuck – You see Esther says, “That’s so bad The imperial axiom, of course All right, coffee tomorrow Kingston-” – I’m gonna go now – “All right.” It’s late at night, so rolling up at Lowell’s might be a little tricky at this time of night- – No, I’m going (laughing) – You guys head off, cool – Is there a way to find out what was in the Big Book of Bits and Bobbins that they need to create this stone? ‘Cause maybe that’s a process that they’re in the middle of right now – Materials? – Yeah – Yeah, maybe there’s something – You see that Esther says, “Do you wanna hit the books with me here in the chantry?” – Sure, yeah – Oh, I’ll hit the books That sounds good – Yeah We can just put on “Eve” in the background, you know? I’m not gonna watch, I’m gonna be working – It’ll be a rewatch for me, so – Cool – Esther’s gonna give the Help action to you Go ahead and make an arcana check with advantage – Cool (Brian laughing) – Two nat ones What the fuck? That’s insane! – That is a one- – That’s really bad – In 400 odds to roll two nat ones on a roll with advantage (Ally laughs) – You’re just so hot now! What? – Make a wild magic check for me – 13 – Okay – Oh, if only we could’ve kept it going – Incredible – Maybe I could step in with my arcana to help (Ally groans) – No, with two nat ones, nobody can step in with any arcana – Jesus fucking Christ – Esther immediately regrets her decision Pete tried to do this “Sorcerer Supreme” research shit (laughing) – You burned a library – The whole point of sorcerers is they don’t read books (laughing) – Incredible Eventually, you’re also just exhausted Pete, you pass you Esther snuggles up with you and you end up watching this – Hey, girl – I’m just so confused (laughing) – You see that, yeah What do Rowan, Kugrash, and Ricky do? – I’m knackered, I’m going home – Kingston, you’re going tonight? – I’m going tonight – You don’t wanna go tomorrow? – I don’t wanna wait I mean, this seems important With all of this that’s going on- – All right I’ll go with you then – All right – Cool – I guess I’ll go, too I feel weird here (laughing) – Oh, you can watch “Killing Eve” – It’s okay, I’m gonna go with the boys (laughing) – All right, little boys’ adventure? All right – Yeah – Are you sure? – It’s fine – I wake up and go, “What the fuck?” – You’re a couple episodes in – Seriously, step in – I think. (sighs) – I can walk you through what’s happened already We’ve got a snuggle going – All right, I’ll stay (laughing) – Fine, I’ll go and do the chore I’ll go with you, but I have to say- – Old people crew, what’s up? (Ally laughs) – Great So, the old people crew Ricky, are you staying? – I’m gonna stay – He’s snuggling – Cool – Yay – On the bed that has Sofia and Esther there, go ahead and make a flat charisma check – To find out which corner of the bed you sit on
– That would be, oh Oh, 17 Wait, saving throw, or just check? – Just a check – Okay, then 13 (laughing) – Cool You- – The corner – Lie down, fully hanging off a side of the bed so you’re not making body contact at all (laughing) – And I have one foot on the ground – You also can’t really see the laptop – Just not complaining about it at all, just tolerating it – Just so uncomfortable, but you’re like, “I am here.” – This is At least I’m- – Am I asleep on a couch somewhere with my cowboy hat over my face? – Yeah, you’re (snores) snoozing over there – What’s that character’s deal? (laughing) – You say that with every new character – What are they doing? Oh, that’s what they were doing (laughing) – Wonderful Wonderful, wonderful Cool, you guys head all they way Uptown Lowell lives Washington Heights Train immediately pulls into the station, you go through the turnstile – Oh wait, wait, wait, there’s a great tamale lady right here that we just (mumbles) just get a couple for the road – No, thank you – I never come to this neighborhood Come on, Kingston, please Please – You are more than welcome to go, Ms. Berry, I have no interest (laughing) – Kingston, you’re so boring now Fine, we’ll go and do the chore – You guys arrive at a little apartment building, this little six unit, three-story apartment building, Washington Heights As you arrive there you see a little thing on the buzzer that says “Masters” on it – I press it (buzzing) – Pause (crackles) “Hello?” – Hey, Lowell? It’s Kingston Brown from the hospital – (crackles) “Hey, Kingston (stammers) Can I help you? Is everything all right?” – Yeah, the city is in danger, Lowell, and I believe you’re on the few people who can help us – (crackles) “I’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life.” – All right, buzz us in – “Come upstairs.” You guys are buzzed upstairs You arrive up at the sixth apartment all the way at the top, little marble stair walkup It’s one of those marble staircases where the marble’s actually sort of buckled a little bit, it’s been walked on so many times You get to this door, you knock on it, it opens The rich smell of spices and incenses, and an unmistakable plastic smell of lube (Emily laughs) wafts out of the apartment It looks like a wizard’s incubation chamber Every square inch of the apartment is dangling gems and a Balinese demon mask, and his tall standing suit of armor and a little pile of gold It’s like the inside of a dragon’s hoard, if it was all glued to the inside of a little two bedroom apartment Lowell opens it, you see he’s wearing a little blue button up short sleeve shirt and some khakis He looks sort of a little bit wet like he just showered – Oh – He goes, “I’ve been waiting for this day a long time.” – Well, I’m glad These are my friends, Kugrash and- – Rowan – Rowan Berry – I love your place So eclectic – He looks at you and says, “My god, I’m sorry it’s a little bit messy right now Did I see you in an episode of ‘Law & Order’?” – No, I get that all the time, but no – “You’re great, are you This is a crazy thing to say Are you represented? ‘Cause my cousin is a-” – Oh – This is happening already? (laughing) – Lowell, this is not the- – “I’m sorry, crazy.” – Saving of the city we were talking about – This is not why we’re here – “You’ve just got such a look Do you do modeling?” – I’ve been thinking about it, actually – “You should get headshots.” – I mean, maybe I’m too short, but maybe that’s a thing – No, I think- – All right Lowell, how you been? You good? – “I’m good Actually, the past month has been the best month of my life, and I owe that to you, Kingston.” – That’s good to hear Oh, stop, you don’t owe me nothing – “Come on in, take a look around.” you guys see this place is just filled with this incredible artifact You see that there’s a jade statue of this ancient emperor king There’s all this crazy stuff There’s a box of Spanish doubloons with a gilded dagger on the top of it All this wild shit is here – Can I turn around real quick to these two? Don’t touch nothing, it’s probably been in his ass And then turn right back (laughing) – “So, what can I do for you?” – Have I removed an eagle, or a bird from his asshole? – You have removed- – Okay, great – A bird from his ass – Hey, Lowell, on one of your appointments, I believe there was a bird that needed to be taken care of? Do you still have that bird? – You see he goes, “Bird?
Oh, the bronze eagle I found?” – Yes, I believe so – You see he goes, “Hmm You guys want anything to drink or anything while we’re here?” – Earl Grey tea – You see he goes and makes some tea, comes over and goes, “Hmm, bronze eagle Hmm, take a seat. (groans)” – What’s in your butt? – (strained exhaling) “I’m good.” – No (laughing) – You see he says, “I found a very old granite pentacle, moss-covered The circle is not part of it, so it’s just a five-pointed star.” – Oh So, the texture of granite and moss, and it’s a pointed star? – “I’ve developed quite a thick interior hide.” – So, you showered before all this? (laughing) – “You think I’m gonna put an incredibly potent religious relic in my asshole without being cleaned up first?” (laughing) – You’re right- – So, you shower at the beginning – That is respectful – You shower at the end – Respectful – Hey, I stand corrected – Anyway, it’s good to hear. (laughing) – You see he looks and takes out a little notebook and seems to write some notes in it, puts it down and says, “I know about the eagle, the Sardinian Eagle.” – Yeah – “When you gave me that talk, I actually discovered that I’m more magical than I originally thought I have the power to basically identify these magical objects.” (Emily laughing) – So, do you, hold on- – Could you stick this crown up your ass? I take my rat crown out – Spiky fuckin’ crown (laughing) you see he takes it and says, “Yeah, I’ll need about a day and a half.” – Also, wait, real quick What is that? – “Hmm?” – This man, what is this man? – “He’s a rat He’s a rat man.” – Oh, you see this rat man? – “After you gave me that talk, ’cause I was finding these weird artifacts and I was seeing things out of the corner of my eye and stuff like that, but yeah.” – So, you have the ability to cast the Identify spell with your rectum? – “That’s about the size and shape of it, yeah.” – I actually don’t wanna think about size or shape when we’re talking about- – “The important thing is this, I already sold the Sardinian Eagle.” – No – To who? – “I sold it to a collector.” You see he, “Hold on one second.” – I think I know who he sold it to – Yeah – Mm-hmm – You’re killing me, Lowell You’re killing me – You see he goes- – Cher – He says, “I told it to an elemental named Buddy.” – Oh! – No, what? – The shit guy! – No, you didn’t Okay, Lowell – Which guy? – Your buddy, Buddy (Ally gasps) – Make a history check for me – Great Nat 20 – Nice! – Wow! – You have a text on your phone from Willy about the card game tomorrow night He sent you a list of who all’s gonna be there Buddy is gonna be at that card game – All right, fantastic – Whoo! – I know where to find Buddy But Lowell, it’s good to see you’re doing well, man, and really nice place It was good to drop by, good to see you – “Good to see you, too My life is turned around, and you’re a decent man Enjoy the tea, take a look at any of the wonders Oh, let me show you this.” you see that he takes this, reaches up onto a shelf and takes a full kind of Russian czar’s mink coat and says, “This is actually something very interesting, maybe for you, Kugrash If you wanna go ahead,” and you see he hands it out for you to handle – Yeah – “That took a long time That was a while.” (laughing) – Sleeve by sleeve – To get a, okay – “But you probably don’t get that cold I know you sleep in the sewers So, it’s not that magical, I just thought you might want a warm coat.” – Yeah, yeah, sure Thanks, appreciate it Just put on this ass jacket (laughing) What do you think, Kingston? – I mean- – Hey, guys, I kinda cover up you two – I think it’s cool – Get off of me Get off of me – You smell better now, honestly – Lowell says, “Can we not be children? Everything gets washed.” – Yeah – I mean, yeah, of course it does – I smell like lube now instead of trash – All right (laughing) And in that way, it is an upgrade – Wonderful So yeah, you know where Buddy’s gonna be – I think I will I think I’m actually gonna need that crown, so I’ll keep it for now, but we’ll link up at some point – “Hey, got your back, Kugrash.” – Appreciate it – “All right, you guys, thanks for coming by Have a great one. (groans) Oh no, oh no Nope, we’re good We’re good.” (laughing) – Oh no? Oh no – You guys head out
The next day, you guys wake up in your various places Some belated gifts with a little note on them that says, “Sorry I couldn’t get it in time for Christmas,” arrive to some of you guys Kugrash, your apartment with Wally, you find a lovely little watch, a fuckin’ dope Rolex, which you haven’t had since your businessman days, appears in a little Christmas gift for you – Hell yeah – Haste Oh, that’s sick – Kingston, we already know what your gifts were Rowan, you actually probably have to crash somewhere else that night because Rowan doesn’t have the keys or anything, but you swing by your lawyer’s office the next day, deal with all of your inheritance, and you arrive at a freshly-cleaned and wonderful penthouse And a little Christmas gift is waiting for you You see- – You know, Long Island City is the new place to be living – It has a Tiffany’s wrapping on it And you feel it has a similar arcane energy to Titania’s shoes on it, this beautiful silver necklace – Do I still get Irresistible Dance? – You do not get Irresistible Dance with it – Great Begone, Irresistible Dance, I resist you – Ricky, you wake up at your home and see, with a giant bow on top and Ox in the passenger seat, a fire engine red Maserati- – Oh, my god – Oh, hell yeah! – Jesus Christ – Why was I even trying to help you get laid? You got it under control! – Oh, my god ‘Cause Esther is definitely gonna be impressed by a car – The suicide doors open up – Suicide You see Ox goes, (barking) “Wow, what a cool car.” – This is dope as hell – And Sofia, you wake up in the chantry, and next to you all packaged up are a pair of red Louboutins – Oh, my god, are they real? I bite it (laughing) – You bite it? – Bite it like an old fucking prospector Cool So, the next day’s happening You know where you’re gonna see Buddy So, that day, let’s just go around real quick and see what y’all do that day Sofia, you wake up in the chantry, you see the awesome red Louboutins, and- – I think – Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? – Well, I was thinking maybe I would just do some Krav Maga – Cool – Just keep fresh – Yeah, there’s plenty of room There’s some dojo spaces within the chantry for the wizards to practice You practice for a while Your Louboutins allow you to spring huge distances Incredible distances After a little while, you see that Esther walks in – You wanna spar? – You see she says, “Sure, I’ll spar a little bit.” Go ahead and give me just an athletics check You gotta beat a 20 – I did 23 – Yeah, you see that Esther is pretty cool as a martial wizard caster She takes out her bat, blocks some stuff with the bat, and does a lot of stuff to throw up obstacles and wards, she’s very good at putting these Tenser’s Floating Disk shields around – This is the perfect sparring partner for me – It’s awesome Esther’s like, “I can’t believe that it’s taken us this long to hang out I mean, it’s been a crazy month, but-” – I know Well, honestly, I was kinda going through something, and then I came toward some sort of closure and it just feels When you were nice to me in that fight, it just felt really nice to feel like someone wanted to be my friend, and that meant a lot – You see she smiles and says, “This is a hard city, and I don’t think you can get through it without having some pals Wanna go get that coffee?” – Yeah – Cool You guys head out to go get that coffee Kugrash, we’re actually gonna cut over to you real quick What do you do? You wake in Wally’s that next day, Dad is there – Dad the dog The game is tonight, right? – Yes – The poker game? Okay I wanna have a little talk with Wally – Cool – Around the breakfast table What do we have for breakfast? Cheese? – String cheese and hotdogs – String cheese Another breakfast of string cheese and hotdogs – Gross – Hey, Wally, so, before you and I started hanging out, who were you hanging out with around here? – “My friends at work.” – Your friends at work, cool Generally a kinda happy guy? How are you holding up, Wally? Do you ever get lonely out here, or? – “Yeah, I guess sometimes.” – Yeah? – “It’s hard.” – Uh-huh – “It’s hard to meet people sometimes, too, you know? I work for the MTA, and, you know, I tried to make one of those OkCupids,
but it’s hard ’cause it’s hard to meet people sometimes I got a busy schedule, and stuff And I asked David for help with it, but me and David don’t get along sometimes.” – Why don’t you and David get along? – You see that he looks at his phone and he says, “He’s actually on the way over today He yells at me a lot, he worries about me ’cause I live by myself, and he, you know, he’s worried ’cause he thinks I shouldn’t have two dogs ’cause he thinks I’m not gonna be able to take care of them both.” – But you have a job, you can do it You can- – “No, I know I think he just thinks I’m a little dumb.” – Oh, you’re not dumb, Wally – “Thanks.” – Yeah You’re a good guy This OkCupid stuff’s confusing I’ve heard a little bit about it I haven’t really used a computer since the 80s, but maybe you and I could figure it out together – “Yeah! You wanna do that?” – Yeah, let’s figure it out I don’t know what the fuck’s going on either – He pops the laptop open Give me a flat charisma check to try and help him make an OkCupid profile (Ally laughing) – I’d like to really focus on non-flashy stuff He has a job, he’s a good guy 11? – (laughs) Cool So, he says, “Okay, job Work for the MTA Interests.” – You like movies “‘Die Hard’, ‘Die Hard 2′, Die Hard 3’.” – Well, you don’t have to get that into it Why don’t you say you like action movies – “Action movies.” – Movies in general – “Movies in general.” – You like the, (laughs) maybe we delete movies in general Get rid of movies in general We like “The Lion King” – “‘The Lion King’! Hobbies, Mufasa, Simba-” – (laughs) No, Wally Wally, those aren’t hobbies, those are characters in the movie – Hobby, no, ’cause they’re like a Like hobby – Discussing film – “Disgusting I don’t like a gross movie I like it when it’s nice.” – Wally, Wally, let me type I write “Discussing film.” – “Oh, put down ‘Falling in love with a lady.'” – Falling in love with a lady Looking for something serious Let’s put that in the appropriate section – “What, like serious, like not funny? I like jokes.” – I know you like jokes – “Put joke books!” – You know how David has a serious relationship – “Yeah, he’s not fun at all.” – He’s not fun at all I start laughing hysterically David’s a fuckin’ ball buster I mean, he should be, I ruined his life – You hear a bang, bang, bang on the door as you say that – Oh, god Fuck – You see Wally gets up and opens the door David comes in David has an immediately kind of haggard look He goes like, “Hey, Wally, how’s it going? Got you some bagels and some food and I got you some just cleaning stuff and paper towels.” And Wally says, “Oh, yeah, I forgot to get that stuff.” Are you Wild Shaped right now, or no? – Oh, god He’s probably gonna fucking think I’m a giant rat and try to kill me if I don’t try to see something Yes, I’ll Wild Shape into a dog – Roll initiative for me – 13 – David spots you before you can change – Okay – He goes, “Oh, Jesus Christ, Wally! What the fuck? You got a fuckin’ rat in the middle of your fuckin’ house!” – He doesn’t have a rat! I cast Dispel Magic on myself to try to break the arcana – The Umbral Arcana – [Brian] Yeah – Yeah, I’m gonna say 3rd level or lower (whooshing) You appear to David He goes, (screams) – David, it’s okay! (breathing heavily) Okay This a lot to unpack here, but I’m sort of a shaman type deal I can do magic, you don’t know who I Let me just, magic is real I do a couple cantrips So, just right off the bat, I’m not a rat I am your father I didn’t run away, I was cursed by a witch who turned me into a rat You know I’m a rat, you’re a ball buster, you can kinda believe that, right? Magic is real I show (laughing) a little- – You see Wally goes, “Also, I don’t have two dogs One of my dogs was dad who’s a rat, and he’s not Jesus.” You see that he David goes catatonic, he passes out As he comes to, he’s kind of in a fugue state – You know what?
I have the Bagel of All Things that kinda lets me do divination I wanna try to help give him some kind of connection to this other world I wanna just pop off a couple poppy seeds in his mouth while he’s knocked out – He takes it His pupils dilate so much that they disappear and he only has irises So, his hazel eyes have no pupil, he’s just gazing straight ahead, whole universes are appearing to him Wally goes like, “That’s a good bagel.” – Yeah – After a few minutes, you can start You pick up explaining, and he needs you to repeat things over and over again – Right, I think I also bring up, I know some real people saw the bugs thing, so if there’s any conspiracy websites or something, I’m like, here’s proof that it exists, blah, blah, blah – Yeah After a while, he’s got a blanket around him, he goes, “Okay, so, you’re a Okay So, you lied? You lied, ’cause you did run away.” – Yes I know you think I ran away to a tropical island, and that my life ruled or something, but I’m a rat, and my life sucked until very recently when I moved in with Wally here – You see Wally goes, “Yeah! It’s better now he’s with me.” You see David goes, “Shut the fuck up, Wally So, what is it you’ve been doing for the past 20 years, 30 years.” – Well, for the first few years, I pretty much just hid out in the subway tunnels feeling sorry for myself and blaming the person who cursed me But after a while, it gave me some perspective, and in the end, I wish I had been the type of person who was naturally empathetic, but I had to have something bad happen to me before I could learn to help other people – “And are you still helping other people?” – I’m trying to, yeah – Here’s a question for you, Murph Has Kugrash been attending to his duties with the homeless since he’s been with Wally? – Probably less so – Probably less so, cool You have a very high wisdom I think it probably occurs to Kugrash that that is the truth – Yeah, right – You see that David looks and goes, “All right, okay Magic’s real, everything I know’s wrong.” – Well, not David, do you know Robert Moses? – “Yeah, power broker?” – Yeah – “Yeah, I know him, yeah.” – I’m actually going after him at the moment because part of the bad side of all this magic is being controlled by him – “So, you’re asking me for a favor?” – I would like to help you if I can Honestly, David, the reason I came to Wally first is ’cause I think Wally needs me, Wally likes having me around, but if you don’t If you want me around, I’d like to have a relationship with you I don’t wanna be selfish about it Don’t do it for me But I’d like to I don’t want a favor from you, I wanna work with you – He looks at you and says, “If Wally needs you, he can have you.” – You don’t have to forgive me, but I’m sorry for- – “I don’t have to forgive you? I don’t have to forgive you? Oh, that’s nice to hear That’s nice to hear There was a time in my life when I needed you That time’s gone And for you to waltz back into my life now as a rat wearing a cape, I don’t give a fuck I don’t give a fuck I don’t think that you’d be talking to me or Wally if it didn’t help you Have a nice rest of your life, you fuckin’ rat.”
And you see David walks out of the apartment Wally’s just crying He looks over and says, “David’s a J-E-R-K sometimes I’m sorry, dad.” – You spelled it correctly J-E-R-K, you said?” – “Yeah.” – That’s good – “He’s a real jork.” (laughing) – You got it wrong in a different way that time No, he’s not Look, Wally, you’re just exceptionally You’re doing me a favor that you don’t need to do, and David is within his rights to be mad, and that’s okay for him, too – Wally nods Yeah, I think Kugrash, you actually feel maybe a little It has been Christmas, and there’s probably some homeless and people that need attending to out in the world Wally says, “I’m gonna talk to David It’s probably a lot for him I have a hard time understanding everything right when someone tells me, and probably David is the same way.” – Yeah Cool, yeah Wally, you go talk to your brother, I’ll go, I got some things I gotta do – Kugrash you go hit the cold streets, tending to people that need food and care and going back to your duties as a caretaker of the dispossessed Sofia, you, Esther get together at a little coffee shop, it’s lovely, you see that Em shows up outside, waves – Come on, in – Huge statue angel comes in, goes, “Oh, my god, I’m happy to chip in, I gotta pay in quarters and pennies and things that people throw in the fountain.” – That’s so off-putting Let me just get this (laughing) – She nods So, you see Esther sits down with you and goes, “Yeah, Sof, thank you so much for suggesting this It feels nice to have someone that’s just a friend and someone that’s not gonna be talking to me about arcana and wizardry and yadda-yadda-yadda Nice to have someone just to bond with as a pal.” – Yeah – “How are you holding up?” And you see that she just, very tenderly, reaches out and puts a hand on your arm as like, you’ve been going through a lot of stuff – Yeah, I’m blushing (laughing) Sorry, Ricky, she touched me! – I’m not here – I’m holding up You know, I mourned him leaving me, now I’m mourning his death I don’t know, I think it’s all I guess maybe at least now it feels like more closure, and I burned my house down – “You are fuckin’ wild.” – You know, what can I say? And honestly, it kinda felt good to get rid of that and just close a door And I don’t even know what my fuckin’ future is, but, it’s whatever right now – Esther’s eyes go wide and she says, “Yeah, the future is whatever.” – Why? what’s going on? – Yeah, make a little insight check – 15 – Yeah, you see her eyes kinda go wide as she looks out, and she says, “Yeah What do you think about Ricky?” – Oh. (clears throat) I think he’s just the greatest guy ever Any girl would be so lucky to have him – You see Em goes, “Oh, my god You’re looking out like you’re performing for a packed theater.” – No! I’m not, I’m doing a good job – You see that Esther laughs and goes, “I I took Ricky to see my mom and grandma at the holiday.” – Ugh, family and the holidays – Em says, “You’re not even dating That feels fast to meet family at Christmas.” You see she says, “No, not like that I am My family’s been cursed for most of the history of New York I am meant to become the third of the Furies of Tompkins Square Park We, not we, not me, I found Alejandro because I wanted to study magic to find a way to break this curse, and the truth is that I don’t need to study magic,
I am magic, but the part of me that is innately magic I’ve never tapped into because once I do, I can’t go back.” – Oh, my god But if we could remove this curse then you would have access to a whole wealth of no longer cursed energy – “Yeah.” – Who cursed your family? – “Powerful spirits a long time ago It’s back, early 1800s It goes in order My mother is the current Fury of Rage, my grandmother is the Fury of Despair, and my mother…” Kugrash, you’re walking down the street and going from garbage to garbage and finding people You come outside of this coffee shop and overhear this conversation happening You see she says, “We change into the Furies if we ever experience our emotion powerfully enough My mom wanted a better life for us and she tried to leave the Unsleeping City She swore off magic, she entered the waking world, she became a business woman, and she started a financial company, basically a hedge fund with this rat bastard piece of shit who sold her out and destroyed their company to profit himself, and it ruined her, and she fell to her curse She reached in for that magic and I lost her.” You see she looks like she’s about to cry and then quickly a little cantrip ticks on herself and she (sucks) gets it back – I reciprocate the tender touch – She’s like, “Oof, I need to be more careful talking about this because of my curse.” – Would you say that’s why romantically you have to hold yourself back? – You see she says, “My curse is sorrow, and sadness, psychologically speaking, is the experience of loss And so, I’ve studied magic to find a way to break the curse and I’ve lived my life under the presupposition that you can never feel sadness if you never have anything to lose.” – I am honestly not the girl to be talking about this right now because I am currently trying to follow your path a bit if I’m being honest But, we’re gonna find a way to get rid of that curse – You see she smiles and says- – You got Sofie You got Sofie Bites, AKA Sofia Lee, no longer Sofie Bites, I have disowned my family, Sofie Lee on the case – You see that she smiles and says, “Well, shit, that’s been my holdup this whole time Now it’s all engines go.” She smiles, she says, “Cool Well, if we keep talking about the sad shit I’m going to turn into a literal monster, so let’s not.” – yeah, yeah – You and Em and Esther have a lovely time, and Kugrash, you hear all that out in the street – I just go to sleep in the trash (laughing) – Cool, Kingston – Mm-hmm – It’s the card, it’s card night over at Willy’s – Oh, finally – Who all Obviously you guys have been hanging out for weeks and days and stuff Who all would show up to the card game? – I would definitely – I mean, I feel like- – Pete would definitely be a gambling- – I definitely would – Sofie, hell yeah Sofie, Pete, Kingston, cool – I know it’s gonna come down to rolls, but I feel like Sofie would be really good at cards – I think Ricky will go just to see what a card game is like – Oh, Rowan’s definitely going – Ricky will be- – Strip poker? We mean strip poker, right? – What? No, what? – So, you guys go over Willy, being made of- – No – Brick, actually has a very nice apartment- – Can I actually, I have a spell called Conjure Elemental that I really wanna use, but it’s a casting time one minute Can I bring a plus one elemental, too? ‘Cause I can’t do it in- – what kind of elemental would you like to bring? – Oh, man I guess Kingston, what do you think would be most appropriate? – Like for Willy’s place? I mean, I don’t know, earth maybe, something stone, cement, I don’t know, that’s kinda his vibe, so – All right I find some dirt and rocks – Cool You create a big earth elemental out of stones and earth from one of those tree planter places You guys head to Willy’s in Brook Opens up, he’s got some very old phonograph playing,
it’s got some great jazz Little klezmer notes in there (Emily gasps) You see he goes, “Kingston Brown Finally we see you at the game again.” – I know, it’s been a while, it’s been a while And I brought all my friends – You see he goes, “Come in We’ll set up two tables.” – Right – I bring in two six packs of PBR, ’cause when in Williamsburg that’s what you drink – Exactly, you bring some PBR You see Willy has snacks laid out It’s got a very old world, there’s cigars in ashtrays and the chips on the felt tables – Ricky, did you just bring boiled chicken in a Tupperware? – It’s a party, right? (laughing) – Gross, man – So healthy – Willy sets up some tables He says, “You gonna take all of our money again?” – Okay, all right Well, let’s not start from that place, all right? Everybody can win – You can see that he says, “Go on, take a seat.” He looks over at the earth elemental that you’ve brought and goes, “Why, hello, hello, hello there My name is Willy (Emily laughs) Pleasure to meet you Enchante.” Kisses her The earth elemental just kind of like, (groaning) (laughing) – Can I give him just a hard elbow that like, I just actually need to put force into – Yeah. (laughs) Boom, brick, into his body And you see he goes, “What? You see what I see?” – Okay, okay I thought you were about the Statue of Liberty? – “Oh, listen, that’s on a back burner I’m playing the long game.” – Oh the long? All right, Willy – You see he goes, “Listen, this, your woman, she’s something else.” You guys sit around You sit at the table, there’s a couple other people here, you see Buddy the shit elemental is there He sits next to you, Kugrash “I need a lawyer.” – Yeah I’m sorry, I was tied up – “Oh, no worries.” You see Willy says, “Okay, we start to play Anyone at any time can feel free, here’s the Febreeze, you can just hit Buddy with that if the smell gets too much.” There’s some other people here You see that there’s a stained glass saint from a church, looks like he’s jumped out of a window, he’s just going, “Fuckin’, I can’t get any more into the house, I’ve lost so much fucking money here.” And you see that also, at a nearby table, Willy says, “You remember Green and Red, right?” And you see that there is a little green stick figure made of light and a red hand both sitting in a chair And you see they both go, “Hi, hey, how’s it going? Kingston, good to see you, hello.” – Good to see you, Green, good to see you, Red – You see that Green looks up and says, “By the way, we’re not doing tournament style tonight ’cause I actually have to head out a little bit early.” You see that the hand says, “You’re leaving early? What the fuck? I thought we were staying? Can you not stay for longer?” And you see that Green goes, “I gotta jet, I’m sorry, I gotta be somewhere.” You see (laughs) that- – Brennan – You see that (laughing) You gotta forgive me – I love it. I love it – Cool So, you guys start to play some hands of poker Go ahead, everyone, and just make a I’m gonna say this is just a flat intelligence check – Oh, no – Oh, no Oh, dear – I was gonna say- – I got a four – A four, cool – I got a nat one – Three – Six – Six? – Jesus Christ – Fucking six – Nine – Wow We’re getting taken – You guys are getting taken – Ricky- – Is this worth using a luck point? (Lou laughs) – Can I- – Let’s wait till the stakes are up, maybe – Do some real fun card tricks, though, while we’re playing and I’m having all of my money stolen? – Yes, you do some very fun You’re great at dealing Willy is cleaning up You see Willy has this big cigar, and you see it has to work really hard He vents the cigar smoke out of swiveling bricks in the side of his chest He goes, “Listen, poker is not only a game of chance, it’s more skill You’re playing the player, not the cards.” – True – Buddy is looking hurt He coughs a bunch of shit-covered coins up onto the table You see that Willy kind of polishes and cleans them off to put them into the center pot Another hand comes around Are any of you going to use any magic or abilities on this card game? – I mean, I will absolutely do deception-based performance checks since we’re playing poker – Yeah, you can go ahead and make a bluff check Go ahead and give me a deception roll in the next one – Great – Can I cast Enhance Abilities on myself to give myself advantage on intelligence checks?
– Yes, absolutely – Great – I’m going to I know Kugrash doesn’t have the best luck, and Ricky’s a lot luckier, too I’m like, eh, I’m out, I’m gonna go sit with the kid And I put my hand on Ricky’s shoulder and I cast Guidance, a cantrip – I’m just gonna also cast Minor Illusion to make my breasts slightly bigger (laughing) – So, you can roll a D4 and add it to- – You see that- – She’s stupid – An ability check – You see that Green looks over at you as you do that and kind of quickly looks away, and you see that Red turns over and goes, “Wow, really? Okay.” – Things are really bad between them, but I don’t have the heart to say anything (laughing) It’s like, really bad And we can all see it, but it’s like, we’re friends with both of them, so it’s like, I don’t know which one I talk to – I’m just gonna play this straight up ’cause I have a ton of money from selling a lot of my cocaine to children today It was a rough day – Cool – Can I cast Unseen Servant and have them go around and write down what other people have? – (laughs) Yes, you can Go ahead and give me your guys’ rolls – Just one more roll? – One more roll – Four – Oh my god – Seven – On advantage I rolled a one and a three – Three – 21 – I rolled a 12 – Jesus Christ – Maybe I’ll just use a luck point on this – Yeah, go for it – Go for it? – Yeah, go for it – Don’t you get something with Guidance? What does that do? – Yeah, he added it – Yeah, he got a D4, he added it – D4 – Yeah – Cool Go ahead and roll – Oh, that’s a 20, not nat – 20, not nat – Oh – Cool – Ricky, you go in Ricky, you go out and clear a bunch of people out of the round early on before the flock – I have huge sunglasses on (laughing) – Where’d you those, dude? – Kingston- – Found them – Cool – It ends up just you and Buddy before the river Buddy’s still in, you’re still in You see Buddy, you have a bigger stack than Buddy right now – Mm-hmm – Buddy goes, “All in.” – Oh, now, Buddy, buddy, that won’t do You’re gonna have to match all of this I push mine in – He goes, “Oh, it’s gonna be like that, is it?” – I mean, hey, you’re the one who called – You see he goes, looks around, he sweats some little weird poop oil – Ew – Oh, no – Buddy, I know that you’re a collector, aren’t you? – “Yeah, I collect stuff.” – Okay, why don’t you put one of those on the table? – Go ahead and make a persuasion check – Great Persuasion, there it is And I have advantage on these, thank God That’s gonna be six plus, so 13 – 13 You see he goes (groans), (imitates vomiting) and a bronze eagle thunks into the table – Now, that feels right Doesn’t it? Doesn’t that feel right? – “Well-” – Do you even want that, man? It looks like shit – You see he says- – Come on Come on, Pete (laughing) – This thing is a piece of shit You’re a collector, right? – “Oh, I am a piece of shit.” – Can I do an insight check on Buddy to see if he’s playing straight? – Yeah, make an insight check – Great – I also wanna send my Unseen Servant to spy on Buddy’s hand – 16 – 16, oh 16, you think he’s playing straight He coughs the eagle up Kingston, what kind of cards do you think Kingston’s holding? – Pretty good, but not like a definite It’s like, you know – So, you throw down like, a 10, king, suited of hearts – Yeah – You see that Buddy throws down pocket aces, and there’s already an ace on the board He goes, “Looks like some bad luck.” You see Willy turns over the last card, and it comes up Jack of Hearts – Oh, I’m sorry, Buddy – “No, you gotta be kidding me!” – You’ve been having a rough month and I hate to do it to you, but that’s the game, Buddy That’s the game (laughing) Somebody give me a damn hose so I can clean this eagle off (laughing) – You see that Willy laughs and claps He gives you a cigar and lights it for you – All right, now, you know I can’t be smoking this Come on – He goes, (groans) – I’ll smoke it – Cool – [Brennan] Wonderful You’ve got your bronze eagle – Wanna share it? – Great You clean out at the poker game Esther grabs the eagle from you after the poker game and says, “Great, I’m gonna get to work on this right now This should be able to find Moses for us We should be able to get Robert.” – Oh, right Now I get it – Damn, Pete – It was ugly as fuck! – Okay – It was a gaudy eagle statue
I was shocked – It is the morning Esther goes to work on getting the eagle functional It is the morning of December 31st You- – 9:00 a.m – I’m making deliveries all day – All day Just fucking hustling You’re probably with Jackson and doing stuff And Esther also comes and checks out the monastery as well – Oh, sweet Do you wanna go get New Year’s Eve dresses after? – You see she nods and says, “That’d be great.” – [Emily] Or pantsuits – “Yeah, I’m more of a pants person, I don’t really rock a dress.” – I’m honestly, these days, yeah, me too Let’s get pantsuits – You see that, Pete, you’re making deliveries Kugrash, what are you getting up to on New Year’s? – What am I doing on New Year’s? Seeing Wally Wally, what are you doing? – Wally’s working, he’s working the MTA He says he can take you around the trains and show you his job – Yeah Follow Wally around – Cute – Rowan Alissa shows up New Year’s Day and says, “Hi, uh, (exhales) are you Ms. Berry?” – I am You must be Alissa – “I am I’m just here to drop off some stuff from the late Ms. Moore.” – Oh, that’s so nice of you Do you think you could go to the DMV for me? Is that how that works? – You see she looks and says, “Well, I-” – As a last favor I’m sure Misty would’ve wanted that – You see that she looks and says, “Sure, I’m unemployed at the moment, so I have time.” – Oh, great Oh, I mean, oh no Oh Wow – She’s such a bad fucking person (laughing) – You’ve got a bunch of fucking cartel cocaine in your bag – You’re selling drugs to children – I’m selling drugs to literal children and still you are a bad person and I should not like you – Incredible Yeah, she agrees to go run to the DMV – Great Oh, and before you go, who was it that told you to put the mirror on the stage? – “Oh, one of the benefactors of the theater It was from the Robert Moses Foundation.” – Of course it was Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear – You see that she- – Alissa, I can offer you a job, but just so you know, if anything like that ever happens again – You see she says, “Oh, I learned my mistake It will never happen.” – Never again – Aren’t you like, younger than Alissa? “I can offer you a job.” – Look, money’s money (laughing) – Ricky, what are you getting up to? – What a nightmare – It’s the 31st I guess Ricky’s at the fire station just- – Doing his thing? You see the Questing Blade says, “Sire, this new Maserati is extremely dope What swagger in this vehicle.” – What’s wagger in the vehicle? – “No, I’m saying what swagger, as in remarking upon the swagger.” – Oh, yes, it is full of swagger I feel honestly terrible for driving it (laughing) – Kingston, that morning, Claude actually asks if you can take your niece and nephews They have a project over the holiday He’s working, but they need to do a report on the Met, and so, they need to go to the Met and be shown around, basically – Yeah, let’s do it – Fun – You go the Met, they’re walking around Your nieces and nephews are having a ball You see that your niece looks up, Eliza, and she goes, “Uncle Kingston, we had such a fun time at Christmas How long is Pete gonna be staying with you?” – Well, Pete’s in between, I guess places in his life right now, which is something that adults do And so, until he figures himself out, you know, he’ll probably be crashing with me – Nods You see that Jamil and Cooper both go, “Oh, look at this!” And they run off towards the Temple of Dendur – Okay, no running, no running, especially toward that thing And I follow – You see there’s a bunch of kids and families in here You’re kinda looking around This is where you had your climactic battle all those years ago where the mummy of the Met said those words so long ago – Yes – You hear a voice next to you go, “I love places like this, where you see a little bit of old history.” And you see Robert standing beside you as your niece and nephews run around He goes, “Good looking kids Not yours, of course You know what I mean.” – What do you want, Mr. Moses? – Well, I thought I’d take in the museum here on this special occasion Vox Populi, that’s a rough gig.” – I said, what do you want, Mr. Moses?
– You see he says, “Oh, I thought I’d come talk to you because you’re the reasonable one of your companions.” – Fine, then speak on it – “Things are gonna change in this place This city’s gonna change I know that you are gonna go down with the ship I know that about you You love these people, the populi of which you are the Vox, but there’s a version of New York without them 150 years ago, none of these people were here and this city was still New York, and 150 years from now they’ll be gone and it’ll still be the bricks, the buildings, and the roads I know that you value people over things, and that’s not a delusion that I’m here to cure you of However, if they don’t leave, I’m gonna kill the kid I’m gonna kill Sofia, I’m gonna kill Ricky, I’m gonna kill young Ms. Berry, and your little rat friend, too.” – When you say leave, what do you mean? – “I mean leave New York I am not presuming to ask you to abandon your position, but none of those people need to suffer the fate that awaits them if they try to get in my way.” – Well, I hate to say, Mr. Moses, but they are all free-thinking adults who can make their own choices, as is every person in this city Well, not every person, but every adult – You see he says, “You think people make choices?” – I do – “No People think they make choices They think they’re gonna steer right or steer left, but they didn’t build the roads The big choices already got made for them a long time ago.” – Well, Mr. Moses, how about this? How about you have a choice right now, where you can leave this city, you can walk away, and I will not come for you You can choose to stay here You can choose to continue on this course of action, and me and my friends can choose to stop you Clean and simple And that’s much easier than me trying to get the five of them to go one way or the other – He nods “It’s your message to give as you wish You have a pleasant day.” – Take care – “Give my regards to Liz.” – Oh Can I slap him? – Yes (laughing) Make an attack roll – Great I don’t have it It’s just plus strength? – Strength and proficiency, yeah – That’s gonna be a 19 – You front hand, pow! And leave a singed hand mark of ash on the side of his face You see he goes, “Check your phone, Mr Brown,” and he walks away Your phone blips It’s a text from Emiko saying, “Need you at the hospital.” – Hey, kids, I’m sorry, I know you’re having fun here at the museum, but we have to go – You head out Normally you would, I imagine, escort them all the way back home, but Eliza’s old enough that she can take Jamil and Cooper back to the place She knows, and she looks up at you, and you see a little flash of something that was in your eyes as a child as she goes, “Uncle Kingston, I can do it I’ll take care of it.” – Thank you so much, Eliza – She takes off You rush to St. Owen’s You arrive at the intensive care unit You see Liz in traction on life support, black and blue, unconscious, breathing extremely shallow, and you can see bits of umbral arcana off some of the wounds that are clearly claw and fang marks – Emiko, who brought her in? What’s going on? – “911 picked her up
She was in the neighborhood with family She got jumped in the street We didn’t get a description of the attacker, she came in like this Police are investigating right now, but it looks like they’ve tried to kill her We’re trying to keep her alive as much as we can, but her lungs are filling up with blood.” – Can I do a medicine check to see- – Yes – What is possible? What can I possibly do? That’s gonna be a 27 – Jesus Kingston, you immediately go, you see that you can heal the broken stuff, the stuff that’s most immediately medically, you start going to work You see that other doctors know your history with Liz, and everyone is like, you’re not supposed to be doing this, and they’re looking You see that the head medical guy, Dr. Simms comes over and says, “Nurse Brown, I’m gonna need you to step away.” – Hey, I’m sorry, that’s not gonna happen That’s not gonna happen today – “This hospital, we have-” – I’m sorry, you need to step back, friend, you really do – You see that he looks, and your voice reverberates through the hospital and though he can’t tell it’s happening, is just moved out of the room You take her to a point where she is not stable, but no longer in critical condition There is some piece of necrotic undeath magic that is worming its way from her injuries slowly towards her heart With a 27 medicine, probably a few hours away, maybe eight or nine hours away – Would something like Death Ward or Greater Restoration do something for this? – Yeah, potentially You’re not sure It might be something bigger like a break curse, something like that Greater Restoration might do it But you’re not sure because this thing is a tangled little piece of magic, and it appears that someone’s actively concentrating on it from a distance – (sighs) Can I text the group and say just a, hey, I feel like somebody is trying to attack me They have attacked my ex-wife And then kind of just a little bit about that, there seems to be some kind of spell that somebody’s concentrating on somewhere else in the city I don’t know what to do – Where are you? – Is it a curse? – I am at St. Owen’s – I fly there on my Maserati – Peel through the streets – Peeling through traffic – Yeah, I’m gonna- – You arrive up Yeah, your sister is there She says- – Firefighter on duty Let me (laughing) – Ricky, what the hell are you doing? Where’d you get a Maserati? – No time to explain Where is Kingston? – You rush through to find Kingston – Please park my Maserati – What? I’m on call, I’m here at work – Whatever – I think I take a Bird scooter as fast as I can from wherever I can (whirring) It’s really not going that fast, but I’m like, Kingston! I’m Mind Linking and I’m like, I’m coming, man Do you want any food or soup, broth? – No, there’s no need – I’m bringing you broth – I’ll run into the room wherever Kingston is – Yeah, I’m gonna gypsy cab over there Having lived in New York for such a long time I can just spot from 1,000 yards away the fastest, most crazy driver out there and I’m like, we’re going – They’re like, one eye – Follow that cab! That’s not actually what it is – A guy pulls over and goes, (inhaling) “Hi!” – Hi! – “I’m the cab driver of this car!” – Yes, you are We’re going to the hospital! – “We’re gonna take the river!” (laughing) – You see it just peels off – We’re gonna take the river. (laughing) – You peel out of there You guys arrive in the room with Kingston As you get there, this message appears from Esther You also get messages from some of you saying, “Shit’s going down,” in a story, you get a message from Ana and Amelia like, Someone’s attacking the old bodega.” You get another message You see Esther appears in your small nurse’s office and it’s her literally like, flying through the streets as a vid screen of magic gets her face You see she says, “They’re attacking the library I just got word from Alejandro Listen, the eagle The eagle got back to me There’s a spell happening tonight at the Stock Exchange That’s where Moses is gonna be That’s where he is.” – Okay, I’m gonna go immediately that way – Yeah – Before I leave, I’m going to touch Liz and cast Remove Curse on her – Awesome (whooshing) You cast Remove Curse Go ahead and give me a flat medicine check
This is a powerful curse Remove Curse is going to have a chance to get rid of it, but I want you to roll just a flat medicine check – I’m gonna cast Guidance on him – To add a D4 – Yeah – Can I also cast Guidance on him? – Yes, you can add two D4 – I’m gonna very flirtily say, “Ricky, we believe in you.” (chiming) – Hold on – And give him Bardic Inspiration – That’s a D8? – Yeah – Okay – Shit – All right – Two D4s, a D8, and a D20? – 18 plus five, 23 – 23 You, (whirring) cast Remove Curse And you feel the Questing Blade shines bright, and you hear a voice in your ear And you see a flash of Yankee Stadium for a second, and have this sudden urge to go to Yankee Stadium But it goes away for a second You just hear a voice saying, “Champion, holder of the Questing Blade,” and you see that Liz’s heartbeat settles a little bit – They want you to go to Yankee Stadium? – So- – It was a momentary blip of something that doesn’t necessarily feel urgent, but you just got a vision of Yankee Stadium for some reason – I can’t explain it, but I just saw Yankee Stadium – Do you guys think there’s any chance that that wasn’t really Esther, or we were getting- – Oh, like they were sending us- – I’ll text Esther- – You know what? I’m gonna- – A selfie of Nevermind, I don’t do a selfie – I’m gonna use the Bagel of All Things and ask New York- – Where the person cursing is? – Where the person Although, I wanna know if we’re being set up I think the Stock Exchange is the place we wanna go anyway, but I’d like to ask if that was really Esther – The Bagel confirms that it was Esther – Okay – Can I Is there any way to use Locate Creature to see who it was that cast this spell? ‘Cause if this happened locally, this person’s still pretty close, probably – Potentially, yeah You can cast Locate Creature – Okay – You get a faint sense of them leaving the area of your spell very briefly but Mm-hmm? – I’ll cast Divine Sense as well – Undeath is the nature of the curse – Okay, yeah – But the thing you detect is a vampiric magic and something fleeing – And they’re going south? – They’re heading south, yeah – Well, I think the vampires are at it – Let’s go to the Stock Exchange? – Let’s go- – Can I We can we just? – I don’t know what else to do – Trying to think of what would happen at Yankee Stadium – I know – Wait Can we check her for bites? – She’s been clawed – Yeah it was claws and- – Yeah, it was claws and- – Claws and bites – Oh, so there were bites? – Yeah That’s the other thing you see, is the reason this is so complex is this is a trace of vampirism within – Yikes – What could happen at Yankee Stadium? – So, should we split up a little bit, or? – I think that’s- – I think Yankee Stadium might be for another day, maybe I don’t know, what do you guys think? – I mean, I’ve always just been a Mets girl myself, so – Yeah, Yankees are trash – Maybe we just call Could call the front desk of the Yankee Stadium – Of Yankee Stadium Excuse me, is this Yankee Stadium? – Okay, I’m on the phone – That blip, that disappears from you after the moment you felt it It doesn’t feel like a pressing urgent thing within you It feels instead like something that just occurred for a moment and then went away – Sounds like- – Maybe eventually we should go to a ball game, I don’t know – Yeah, maybe Maybe it’s the Curse of the Bambino, but that’s not here, that’s in- – What do you guys do? – What’s the level on Liz? ‘Cause I’m not 100% comfortable leaving, like- – That last thing where you all joined forces feels like she is partially stable – For now? – For now That you at least have until, maybe 12 hours She’ll be good for a while She’s gonna remain stable for at least another- – You said that you felt him going south? – Yeah, maybe we can text Em, have her come have a look at her – Great, whatever – Watch over? Yeah – Yeah – That’s great – Cool – I wanna get there, and I wanna get a look at Robert Moses I wanna see- – Yeah – Yeah, let’s- – Of them congregate – Right when I get to the New York Stock Exchange area, I wanna cast Jump on myself – Cool, you cast Jump – Oh wait, is that only a minute? – I wanna conjure my elemental again when we get close ’cause it only lasts for an hour – Let me double check – You conjure your elemental – Nevermind, I don’t cast Jump, but I do create an Unseen Servant – Can Misty ride in my Maserati and get the benefits from that? – Can’t bump over 20 – Okay Gotcha – Conjure elemental – Oh, it’s a charisma thing? – Do we see Robert Moses- – It’s two charisma – When we get to the Stock Exchange? – I’m already the most charismatic I can- – Hold on one sec, guys Let me narrate what happens
You guys get there There’s an express Harlem to Wall Street (whirring) You arrive, you rush up, you go to the Stock Exchange Kugrash it’s been a long time since you’ve been here You walk in, it is about now, after all the running around and Liz and everything else, it’s about seven, eight o’clock at night, which around this time of year means it is pitch black You walk up, the doors open for Kingston, even though they’re normally locked at this time Nobody perceives you, all the guards are looking the wrong way to notice you guys walking in You get to the floor of the Stock Exchange Kiosks everywhere with the screens and the ticker Up in the balcony with the bell, you see Robert looking down at you – “Welcome I take it that Kingston’s offer was either not given or rejected.” – You son of a bitch! – You’re going to Hell! – I’ll kill you! (laughing) – I point at him, too, and cast True Strike – Ooh, I cast True Strike also! – Roll for initiative – Great – That’s all for this week on “The Unsleeping City” Tune in next week as a battle of high finance where the stakes and stocks couldn’t be higher – Oh, god – Money, money, money Money, money, money ♪ Money, money, money, money ♪ – Money – Later ♪ Money ♪ – Robert Moses is here concocting a ritual on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange – We’re gonna burn it down! – [Brennan] Those are vampires piloting kiosk mechs – Incredible, but I’m so mad – He reaches out and sucker punches you in the stomach and you are paralyzed – Are you enjoying this? – “Take it easy, Ms. Berry.” – You stupid mother fucker! (laughing) You come for my family, you come for my friends I will fucking drop you – “If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.”