How I Treat Others – 1 Timothy 5:1-16 – September 27th, 2020

good morning and welcome to our Sunday morning teaching we’re currently in First Timothy and today we’re going to be in chapter five we finish chapter four in our verse by verse study through First Timothy so i’ll have you online and those of you here turn to First Timothy chapter five if you’re not there already our text is going to be verses 1 all the way through to verse 16 so before we get started i wanted to mention that we are in the process of starting a website at jdfarag.org we need for you if you send us an email you’re not subscribed you have to go to the bottom of the page and you’ll see a place where you enter your email you enter that you will not get a notification but if you submit your email you are subscribed and then you will start receiving notifications we appreciate your patience with us on this we certainly covet your prayers for us on this we’re hoping that this site will become the go-to site for not just the videos and certainly the prophecy updates but pardon me much more than that and we’re hoping Lord willing that it will be much more interactive as well so that’s jdfarag.org and by the way there’s the link instead of typing it into the url as some have and then you end up at jdfarag.com you don’t want to go to jdfarag.com you want to go to jdfarag.org but if you click on the link it’s right in the description of this video you can just click on that subscribe and then you will start receiving notifications all right let’s get into the Word First Timothy chapter five we’re going to pick it up in verse one and Lord willing we’ll make it through to verse 16 so i’ll ask you to stand if you’re able if not that’s all right where you’re seated is fine you can follow along as i read the apostle Paul is writing by the Holy Spirit and says to Timothy verse 1 do not rebuke an older man harshly but exhort him as if he were your father treat younger men as brothers older women as mothers and younger women as sisters with absolute purity give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need but verse 4 if a widow has children or grandchildren these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents for this is pleasing to God yeah okay verse 5 the widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help but the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives in other words she’s dead inside if she’s living for that verse 7 give the people these instructions so that no one may be open to blame anyone who does not provide for their relatives and especially for their own household has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever no widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over 60 has been faithful to her husband and is well known for her good deeds such as bringing up children showing hospitality washing the feet of the Lord’s people helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds as for younger widows verse 11 do not put them on such a list for when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ they want to marry thus they bring judgment on themselves because they have broken their first pledge besides verse 13 they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house

to house and not only do they they become idlers but also busy bodies who talk nonsense saying things they ought not to so i counsel younger widows to marry to have children to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander some have verse 15 in fact already turned away to follow satan if any woman who is a believer has widows in her care she should continue to help them and not let the church be burdened with them so that the church can help those widows who are really in need i think this is self-explanatory we can just close in prayer no all right well then we better pray we need to pray let’s pray oh Lord this is quite a passage we have before us today and Lord we know it’s here for a reason no Scripture is there unless it’s there God breathed for a reason for instruction for rebuke so Lord we know it’s here for a reason and now we need for the Holy Spirit to give us eyes to see what that reason is hearts to receive what instruction You would have us to receive so Lord will You speak into our lives in and through Your Word with this passage here in Jesus’ name Amen and Amen you can be seated thank you so i want to talk with you today about how we treat one another and more importantly how serious how we treat one another is in the sight of the Lord so much so that Scripture is replete with passage after passage concerning our loving one another and being kind to each other i think about Paul’s letter to the Corinthian church it was so serious what they were doing and how they were treating i should say really mistreating one another that it actually literally cost some of the Corinthian Christians their lives that’s how serious God takes it Jesus said that how we treat others will be the litmus test by which people will know whether or not we are His disciples it’ll be by our love one for another make no mistake about it the world is watching us to see how we treat other people and they’re watching us very closely the apostle Paul says that we are living epistles you know what he means by that it means our lives are like letters that people read they read the letters of our Christian lives i wonder what do they read in the letter of my life do they see me as a loving person in the way that i treat other people well the text that we have before us today specifically as it relates to Timothy as a young pastor is very detailed concerning how to treat people older people younger people men women within the context of a church and it seems that Timothy’s really dealing with some big problems and some problem people oh every church has problem not you you guys are wow i’m talking about other churches terrible horrible people problems it’s been said that if you want a problem-free church you need a people-free church i’m sure you’ve heard it said you know you know how

i’m looking for the perfect church really well don’t join this church or don’t come to this church because you’ll ruin it i mean after all what is the church it’s made up of sinners in fact i was just talking with a brother after first service the church is a hospital for sinners not a showroom for saints oh i’m glad you reacted that way we’re all sinners are you kidding me well anyway i think you get the point so i’m preparing and praying about teaching this passage today i sense that the Lord would have me to talk about specifically how it is that we treat other people how we behave towards others in our treatment of others especially those in our family and our church family i found four you might find more but the first one is in verses one and two and it’s be key word by the way be respectful i think of what we affectionately refer to as the beattitudes have you noticed they’re not do attitudes no they’re beattitudes i know it’s a play on words but this is what we be not what we do this is how we are and this is how we are to be be respectful show some respect as we would say in our day now here Paul is telling Timothy not to lash out or be harsh with an older man but instead treat him as you would with respect your own father and then he goes further he goes on to instruct Timothy to treat younger men as brothers older women as you would mothers and here we go younger women as sisters with absolute purity oh you guys listen my dear sisters in Christ can you just give me a minute i need to talk to the men oh we have to be so careful in how we treat women you understand that she is God’s daughter that should be a game changer right there hey i have a daughter you i also have an application i’ve talked to my daughter about this we’re preparing it now in advance she’s only 13 but you know when she starts dating if the Lord tarries at age 40 i’m going to have a i’m going to have an application to date my daughter it’s quite lengthy it’s actually i’ll have it in a pdf a fillable pdf you can do it online it’s about 50 pages in length number of questions on that application one of which will be do you like hunting are you afraid of guns that’s my daughter don’t mistreat my daughter you will be in grave danger and i’m an earthly father i’ll never forget when my daughter came home from school this is when she was very young and she’s crying i’m like what happened she said they were mean to me i’m like who where do they live i will find them and when i do how about our Heavenly Father that’s His daughter and by the way that’s your sister in Christ

think about that and you’re going to treat them like that you know what the common denominator with everything that Paul says here in this list in verses one and two is just be respectful show respect especially to those who are older than us and that’s the problem right for those of us who are older we always talk about this lament about this lament such a spiritual word for complaining that’s the word i use because it it sounds holy you know he’s lamenting not complaining i’m complaining about the generation these kids these days no respect for their elders and we know the reason why right young people when they look at someone older who has more experience they don’t see them as somebody they can learn from and there’s no respect you know this is actually a cultural dynamic in the middle east to this day i’ll never forget growing up as a little boy my father when he would walk into the room everybody all of my Arab family would stand up out of respect because he was the elder nothing special about him but because he was the elder that’s how they treat the elders you know and by the way in Hawaii if i’m not mistaken there’s a lot of this here too when it comes to the elders in the Hawaiian culture there’s a respect for the elders this is Leviticus 19 verse 32 by the way stand up in the presence of the aged show respect for the elderly and revere your God I am the Lord here’s the problem when you’re young you think you know everything and that those older than you don’t have a clue it was Mark Twain who humorously quipped when i was a boy of 14 my father was so ignorant i could hardly stand to have the old man around but when i got to be 21 i was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years a lot of truth to that right now it should be noted that when we get to verse 20 here in this chapter Timothy is actually instructed to rebuke an elder who is in sin now i point this out because there are times when not only are we to rebuke someone but also we’re to rebuke them publicly Paul addresses this with Titus as well in Titus chapter 2 verse 15 he tells him to encourage and rebuke with all authority and to not let anyone despise you for it Proverbs 27:6 i’ve been talking about this a lot lately especially in our Thursday night study through the book of Ecclesiastes it’s to me probably one of the most disregarded and dismissed verses in all of the Bible it says faithful are the wounds of a friend but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful in other words if you’re my friend you’ll tell me what i need to hear not what i want to hear even if it will hurt me well i want you to like me so i’m not going to i’m not going to rebuke you i’m not going to confront you i don’t want you to block me on facebook so i’m not going to that’s not love you’re not my friend in fact you’re my enemy because see an enemy will only tell me what i want to hear but refuse to tell me

what i need to hear i need to hear the truth you know what i’m finding is initially when somebody tells you the truth and always speak the truth in love because you love you always want to have your words seasoned with grace and it’s not so much what you say it’s how you say what you say be gentle be respectful be kind be loving i think about in Galatians chapter 6 when Paul’s writing about trying to restore a brother who’s been caught in a sin he says do so gently and then watch yourself lest you yourself be tempted as well but restore him gently respectfully lovingly kindly so you always want to be loving but when you speak the truth in love it might be resented initially but eventually it’ll be received and conversely it works both ways when somebody just kind of flatters you and tells you what you want to hear you’re kind of like wow thank you so much what else did you notice about me go ahead tell me reminds me that story when somebody’s just going on and on and on talking about themselves and finally they stop and they say you know enough about me talking about me you talk about me so it’s all about me you know the unholy trinity me myself and i it’s all about me so initially you might appreciate somebody flattering you and telling you what you want to hear but i assure you eventually you will resent it why didn’t you tell me the truth why didn’t you risk the relationship and speak truth into my life you must not really care about me you must care about yourself only that’s not love that’s self-love if you really love me you will speak truth to me even though it will wound me that means you love me i know my wife really loves me a lot every day all day man she loves me she really loves me i’m so loved i shared this on Thursday night i think maybe it’s apropos to share again years ago on the mainland there was a situation with two brothers in Christ and the one brother who really loved and cared about the other brother risked the relationship and confronted him and rebuked him in love and he knew he counted the costs he knew it would probably cost the relationship the friendship at least initially anyway and sure enough he speaks the truth he’s respectful the other brother doesn’t receive it in fact the polar opposite happens i mean it was a war and the brother who rebuked in love this brother was i mean just taking the hits and beat up and even from others who were like wow where’s the love man how could you do that and the guy’s like are you are you kidding me i love this guy i care about him someone had to say something and then this other brother i’ll never forget this chimed in and said wow you cared enough you loved him enough to speak the truth to him you know i think we do err greatly when and it works again both ways when we should be so privileged as to be on the receiving end of a loving rebuke that means they love you that means they care enough about you to say something to you you know the one who is to be pitied

is the one who has no one that loves him that much that’s willing to risk the relationship and rebuke them again the takeaway before we move on here is always always always be respectful always be respectful i think even in our witnessing sharing the gospel with others i think we’re so disrespectful i think we’re so disrespectful we’re going to i’m kind of getting ahead of myself we’re going to talk about this here in a moment number two be helpful verses three through six now what Paul says here is interesting for a number of reasons not the least of which is that Paul is qualifying those who are really in need of help and i mean he gets pretty specific here it’s almost uncomfortable it’s kind of like whoa so i’m a widow and i’m 59 and a half years old i can’t go on the list no okay wow where’s the love i realize at first read this can come off as unloving but the reality is that there are those whom we are not required to help and that’s what Paul is outlining here namely those who have family members that they can go to and when you step in and help somebody that has family members that they should go to you let them off the hook it’s their requirement they are obligated and again this has a cultural dynamic in fact let me expound on that for just a moment you know the only commandment of the ten commandments the fifth commandment honor thy father and thy mother so that the days upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee may be long you’ll notice i’ve got that memorized in King James my parents made me oh i can quote it in several different translations and two different languages by the way if you want but you know that word honor honor it’s a financial term it’s where we get the word honorarium in the middle east the children financially take care of their mother and their father i remember growing up as a kid this is in America but my um uncle built my grandmother and grandfather on my mom’s side this is my mom’s parents this was her brother my uncle built a house next to his house for their mother and father because in the middle east you don’t put your mother and father in a nursing home you honor them and you care i didn’t mean to go like that because some of you are going oh no it’s a cultural dynamic you care for your parents you honor them you help them it is your responsibility it is your requirement you are required to help them so here Paul is just laying it on the line and he says that if the widow and fatherless are genuinely in need of help we are commanded to help them if they have no family members to help them this is what James says in chapter 1 verse 27 he says pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this to visit orphans and widows in their trouble and to keep oneself unspotted from the world that is pure undefiled religion you want to talk about somebody that is religious that’s the definition right there they take care of the widows the orphans who have nobody else to care for them that’s when the church cares for them well this was an issue in the early church and we know this because of Acts chapter six i’ll read verses one through four in those days when the number of disciples was increasing the hellenistic Jews among them complained against the hebraic Jews

because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of the food now get this picture in your mind the early church has a daily food distribution program for widows these are true widows the ones who really qualify for help from the church and apparently there was this issue that had come up this conflict this problem that needed to be addressed because some of these widows were being overlooked at the expense of these other ones so verse 2 the 12 gathered all the disciples together and said it would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the Word of God in order to wait on tables brothers and sisters choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom they have to be filled with the Holy Spirit we will turn this responsibility key word over to them and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the Word isn’t it interesting that Paul would mention to Timothy how that these needs which in some cases are not genuine needs and they don’t fulfill the requirements to really be a need can become a burden on an already overburdened church because see if the church is all about this then what gets neglected prayer and the Word teaching the Word well here’s the third one it’s in verses 7 through 10 and i chose to word it this way for a reason i think you’ll see why in a moment be useful here Paul gets even more detailed in his explanation of the qualification on the part of those who are in need of financial help he starts off bluntly saying and this is i mean in your face anyone who does not provide for his family is denying the faith and if that weren’t bad enough they’re worse than an unbeliever how about that have a nice afternoon he then addresses widows again which he will be even more blunt with in the next verses as he outlines the requirements for them these younger women apparently they were married their husband was met with an untimely death what do you do well he’s going to address that and that’s our last one in verses 11 through 16 and it’s be careful if you were to ask me what i thought was one of the biggest issues if not the biggest issue within the church today this would have to be it i’m hoping you’ll allow me to explain what i mean by that here Paul talks about these younger women being busy bodies going from house to house apparently they have too much time on their hand he calls them idlers now these are not words we use in our vocabulary much today when was the last time you called somebody a busybody if you did they probably looked at you like what era are you from or how about an idler an idler my car’s not idling what are you talking about what do you mean well apparently the problem had arisen and it was a big problem for Timothy in that church there in Ephesus but they had way too much time on their hands way too much time on their hands and they were getting in other people’s business busybodies they were busy about hey psst did you hear and they’re going you know house to house they’re gossiping they’re spreading rumors they’re talking stink

they had too much time on their hands they’re being idle and Oaul is addressing it doubtless you’ve heard that expression idle hands are the devil’s workshop again not a phrase that you hear much in our day for those of you that are younger again with all due respect i mean no disrespect when i say this but let me just try to explain to you something from back in our day you know back in the day to be idle and to have your being idle being the devil’s workshop it meant this that the devil found your idleness irresistible he can’t resist when you’re sitting there oh idle here’s the enemy ha ha ha all right let’s get busy let’s make him a busybody i wanted to get to this and i left time for this because i think i would be grossly remiss were i not to address this social media you okay i’ll just wait i don’t want to get in your face or your facebook but i have to say what needs to be said and it’s what the apostle Paul is saying to Timothy if the apostle Paul were a guest speaker today first of all how cool would that be man i’d be all over social media guess who my guest speaker is is that bad that’s pride i know but let’s just say for purpose of discussion purpose of illustration that we were to have the apostle Paul as a guest speaker today what would he say well i think you say the same thing that he’s saying to Timothy here except it would be updated and he would talk about posting on social media first of all can i just say this this isn’t Paul i’ll come back to Paul in a moment i’ll give him the microphone just a moment can i just say where do you get the time you must have a lot of time on your hands how much time are you on social media well maybe i do want to get in your face but can i just ask you a question i mean this is sincere i want to be respectful i want to say this in love but what would happen what kind of changes almost instant and immediate changes would you notice in your life if you took just a little bit of that time that you spend on social media in prayer or in the Word i’m not standing before you and the Lord knows my heart i’m not talking down to you i’m not you know talking at you i just want to be honest with you and i speak for myself in my own life i mean when you have that much time on your hands and this is the thing and i again i’ll just say it many a Christian will say well you know i’m just too busy really yeah i’m too busy to spend time in the Word i’m too busy to pray to which i would say you’re too busy not to maybe we need look no further to why it is that our lives are in such a state of disarray

than to this i just can’t get over verse 13 where Paul says that they get into the habit of being idle it’s habitual and we don’t do this anymore we don’t even know our neighbors we lived there for 15 years we don’t know our neighbors but back in that day they would go from house to house can i update it from page to page scrolling and not only do they become idlers but also busy bodies and did you notice what Paul said this is not me i’m giving to Paul the microphone here they talk nonsense nonsense you know what nonsense means nonsense i mean it makes no sense it’s stupid there i said it it’s stupid stupid stuff nonsense and oh this is i mean this could be written today i don’t have to update it the only thing i have to update is the word saying posting things they ought not to well i’ll just use myself as an example since some of you are looking at me with that look like oh man you’re meddling pastor you’re meddling there have been so many times where i wish i could have unsent or unposted an email or a post oh shouldn’t have said that shouldn’t have posted that you know when Paul says walk in the Spirit and you won’t fulfill the lusts of the flesh have you ever wondered what that really means what does that look like walk in the Spirit okay come on walk in the Spirit if i’m walking in the Spirit what does that mean sorry about the cameras back there you know what it means be so busy in the Spirit you don’t have time for the flesh it’s kind of like you know here’s the flesh going hello get out of here i don’t have time i’m too busy in the Spirit i’m in sync with the Spirit busy in the Spirit walking living filled with the Spirit i have no appetite i have no time i have no taste i have no interest here’s another illustration maybe better i hope so because it deals with food and we all love food especially me so let’s just say for purpose of illustration that you invite me over to your place for dinner and the time comes and on the way to your place i am driving by taco bell we love taco bell we love tacos and i think there’s going to be tacos in heaven i’m just you know thinking but yeah with the guacamole and the boy the salsa and those chips and anyway so i drive by taco bell and all of a sudden i hear this voice JD what hey box of 12 tacos yeah and i pull right into the drive-through because there’s no in-person dining i guess and i just fill up on those tacos and then oh yeah i’m on my way to your place for dinner and i show up and you’ve got this gourmet meal you spent two days on how hungry am i how interested am i that’s the way it is with the flesh if i’m so full of the Spirit i won’t have room for the flesh if my time is so full with Spiritual things

no problem the problem is is that when my time is not and that’s when the enemy’s got me there’s another component to this i guess for lack of a better way of saying it we have to rely on the power of the Holy Spirit to deliver us from the power of social media over us it’s very powerful and here’s why i don’t know if you know this or not but social media’s algorithms vis-a-vis AI artificial intelligence tracks our online behavior and reactions and changes in order to control our behavior and reactions did you know that now let me hasten to say that it’s okay to have social media but be be very careful that social media does not have you so here’s how it works and there’s a neurological explanation for this you know when you’re scrolling and then or somebody likes your post ah you know what’s happening in your brain you just got a squirt of dopamine you’re like wow so now you’re going for the next one and that’s why you keep scrolling you know those notifications and by the way don’t picture a guy behind some computer screen going click on this there doesn’t need to be because AI does that the algorithms and artificial intelligence knows your behavior more than you know your own behavior and it is so subtle because what happens is every time you scroll and some meme pops up or somebody posts something or likes something you get this squirt of dopamine and then it’s all about the next squirt of dopamine it’s a dopamine squirt and anl adrenaline rush and that’s why when you put your phone down as hard as it is oh by the way try this you know they say don’t try this at home try this at home take your bible this is a bible by the way put it there take your phone put it here watch what happens oh my goodness notification notification alert alert and here’s the Lord over here going hello hello oh my i got a notification come on right by the way that’s why they send you the notifications because it’s all about getting you to open that app and scroll and before you know it a half hour goes by oh longer i wasn’t sure about that reaction it’s gone it evaporated completely wasted and what’s happened to you it rewires your brain you know that what’s happening right now on social media is such that your reactions on social media were already created so that you’ll react to that post it actually changes your behavior so that you’ll react in that way so here’s what happens you post something and then somebody posts something in

reply to your post what oh and then you come right back maybe i should ask this question at this point but how successful are you in witnessing to somebody that you just blasted on social media you know what you’ll never you’ll never lead them to Christ you already blew it isn’t that exactly what the enemy wanted the the post and the reaction to the post i’m just going to say it like this because i truly believe that this is what’s happening not only is it destroying our Christian witness it’s destroying our Christian lives you’re stressed you’re depressed that’s why you’re angry that’s why doubtless you’ve heard that expression that when your eyes are on others you get distressed when your eyes are on yourself you get depressed but when your eyes are on the Lord you get blessed i know that that’s right i mean think about that for just a moment when you’re on social media i mean you’re going oh wow they bought a new car that’s called covetousness oh wow did you see that post yeah i know unfriend them i mean why would you want to subject yourself to that and then if your eyes are on yourself this is why we’re to die to self die to self because if your focus is on yourself how depressing is that i’m going to look within don’t do that don’t do that you will not like what you see you look within oh this is very depressing but when you when your eyes are on the Lord that’s it and by the way have you noticed that when your eyes are on the Lord you can’t have your eyes anywhere else that’s called double vision i don’t you know how’s that working out for you if my eyes are on the Lord i can’t be looking at you and if you’re in my periphery you’re all blurred that’s a good place you need to be blurred but He’s in focus Isaiah says happy is he whose mind is stayed on Thee Romans 12 verses 1 and 2 probably two of the most powerful verses in all of Scripture so powerful when we were going through the book of Romans verse by verse i had to teach those two verses two weeks in a row because i didn’t get it right the first time i mean i just i couldn’t even in two weeks basically Paul says this don’t be conformed to the pattern of this world but instead be transformed how by the renewing of your mind it’s not being brainwashed it’s having your brain washed it’s washing your brain that’s not a play on words it’s the cleansing with the water of God’s Word the pure water of God’s Word because see our brains we get brainwashed and programmed we talked about this we devoted a whole update to programming how our brains are programmed by the media that we take in and what Paul is saying is don’t be brainwashed have your brain washed wash your brain with the water of the Word of God renew your mind renew your mind because as a man thinketh in his heart so is he well i hope you receive this in love and please know that i’m right there with you i have to be so so careful

well let me just be very candid with you i have to guard my time especially when it comes to youtube and all the comments you know our prophecy update videos some of them fetch over a quarter of a million views and i don’t know how many comments but you know here i am scrolling the comments oh thank you very much thank you thank you very much what oh my goodness i’m just confessing to you as your brother in Christ that this is a struggle for me and don’t think for a second that my dopamine levels aren’t just off the charts you know yay wow you know adrenaline and then boom here comes another one and i think the Lord sends those other ones you know how it is right you can get a hundred compliments or likes but if you get one thumbs down you’re like forget the 99 you’re going after the one right but in a bad way i think that might be the Lord so what are you going to do live your life based on likes and dislikes you know in the final analysis we all have an audience of one and he’s my friend he sent me a friend request and he likes me like like like like like isn’t it something that the word like has more power than the word love we’re so cheap in love when i say to you God loves you you’re like yeah praise the Lord but what if i said it like this hey God likes you He does He likes me no way way oh my goodness He likes me i got so many dislikes and unlikes and unfriends and all of that He likes me yeah no matter what i do yeah He likes you He’s really into you He loves you so much that He died for you no greater love hath any man in your friends list than the One who laid down His life for you why don’t you stand we’ll pray Lord i thank You this is tough stuff but Lord i’ve done my best but the Holy Spirit’s going to have to take it from here in all of our lives conviction yes condemnation no but conviction if it brings us closer to You back to You then so be it Lord whatever it takes Lord forgive us for the amount of idle time that we waste away forgive us for spending more time on social media than we do with You and look at the fruit of it in our lives Lord i pray that as we go our separate ways today that we’ll take with us that which You’ve spoken to us and that the Holy Spirit would have unfettered access into that recess in our hearts to turn our hearts back to You renew our minds renew our minds Lord and thank You Lord in Jesus’ name Amen