okay eggs milk laundry detergent salt baking powder bread butter shampoo bananas soap earmuffs okay well looks like my suicide note is complete I’m Alicia Silverstone you might know me from the movie clueless or more recently rear ends of the movie clueless my parenting book has come under criticism lately by people who feel that my credentials don’t speak for themselves so I’m here to set the record straight yes I do feel that vaccines are harmful you might as well inject your child with heroin or KFC chicken skin and yes I do believe that diapers are toxic pseudoscience when it comes to talking about science it’s important to get all sides of the story but most importantly mine I’m Alicia Silverstone all right here we go time to capture this sick son of a [ __ ] all right are you ready I was born ready uh mother met me whoa whoa whoa what is that the big heroic line you’re gonna say before you make your entrance well cliche yeah well I didn’t want to say it but yeah okay all right you know what I’m sorry let’s just let’s take our guns off let’s loosen up a bit coarser yes thank you yes let’s do that yeah a little tight it’s been a rough week hey have fun with it what’s up fun about spit on no judgment o judgment okay I’m just throwing it out there ding dong troubles here okay um I’m not married to it yeah but hey we now start sure enough let’s do it so pave the way okay oh um okay yippee-ki-yay [ __ ] that’s four that’s from die hard that is from doctor or somebody on my own was not hurt yeah I’m sorry yeah it sounded familiar okay it’s all right ahh blah blah blah horn it out there ready y’all ready I mean won’t be like shout ratings okay um a little bolder much just a little much okay I thought that too yeah you know what good for you though risk okay okay you know what let’s think outside the box this guy is Russian what do you think of Russian he’s a Russian guy I think homophobia right Oh vodka vodka there’s something there yeah you like what gay well this shuts on me Wow good luck mate Bravo da blowin back up now sir that was frightened short straight to the point shots gonna say that that line was to die for these are last words he has a point okay but let’s brainstorm we’re dying there’s blood bullet wounds what uh what look anything bullets what do we think of what kind of the line here hi I’m Alicia Silverstone remember clueless there have been no long-term studies and the effects of strollers my friend once you use the

stroller and now her baby is a 45 year old man with HIV is there a connection we don’t know the science just isn’t there yet and my baby won’t be a test subject only I can decide what’s right for my baby and yours I chose not to look my baby in the eye for eight months because I’m guessing that’s what’s right and I’m an actress or at least I used to be for having children brand new primo [ __ ] right here I can see that smell that summary serving you folks I [ __ ] hate yard sales just I never liked them I’m not a yard sale kind of guy you’d say so why don’t we make a deal hmm what kind of deal all this stuff 100 bucks cash 75 done deal ya can’t talk to you for a second yeah Lisa this guy over here he’s pretty creepy I mean let’s just say he didn’t rob his balls all over this stuff sure your balls holes yeah well what about your dick no no no joke either I mean why are you selling all this stuff anyway yeah my wife and I were gonna have a baby it’s a really beautiful day though they said it was gonna rain I don’t see if i can drop I just see rays of sunshine my friend sorry but who is that there’s literally a weeping woman on your steps right now oh yeah that’s my wife she’s a real deal should she be drinking right now yeah yeah she’s cool but you just said that you were expecting a baby turns out this one’s better having miscarriages I am so sorry when did this happen honey when did you ever miscarriage it was yesterday still a bit fresh for it’s terrible how far along was she Oh only like a month that was a fun it was eight months she was pretty far it was about to come out for real Lisa we’re not buying any of this crap not just your house just hear that here to help me yeah so um why don’t you ditch pansy the ferry over there I’ll ditch baron von crybaby and we can I run out and said I’m gonna families of [ __ ] no no oh you [ __ ] oh sorry god no that’s not right let’s go up you you lost the sale you bought some stuff when you lose everything else keeping these because they’re not occasion specific that’s what you did to me hi I’m Alicia Silverstone’s baby’s mother he would talk to you about my true opinion on child-rearing I would never put my child at risk with dangerous plastics to

allegedly baby-proof my home how do you think a baby feels in a baby proof home not welcome it feels like its mother regrets having her it feels like the emotional toll it’s taking on her is driving her closer and closer to insanity oh I’m not Mike Mike arneson is that you I caught you guys I haven’t seen you in forever how the hell of you man oh yeah we’re fine we’re fine how a little bit oh I mean pretty much the same I mean no major changes you know are you sure cuz you look a little different there’s something going on yeah well here’s the thing i only have one leg now oh [ __ ] off that’s awesome that is awesome good for you it’s about time Michael is it one morning I just couldn’t find my keys and then well one thing led to another and uh oh radical oh wow I noticed you really addressed up the stump oh yeah as you can see I’ve got an anklet and lace doily and a picture of ace frehley oh yeah yeah there isn’t Wow hey there’s no a wheelchair around here or crutches so happens if you want to go somewhere oh well it takes me get this a really long time oh man see that’s the [ __ ] these millennial kids they does they don’t care it looks like they’re too busy with their iphones right and their two legs and it’s like wake up wake up yeah so like what about sex is it like like more difficult or well here’s the thing I wait for it don’t have sex anymore oh good for you good for you I don’t know I mean sex sucks it really does it’s just exercise of many of this orgasms yeah yeah excuse me yeah but my wife and I couldn’t help but notice that you guys were having a conversation yeah we were Mike here that’s only one leg oh look at that oh well fun is fun guys but it’s time to die yeah I mean well I mean you only got one leg we have to kill you wait Wow well because it says so in the buckle okay wait I have a compromise all right why don’t you cut off both your legs then give one to me the man makes sense yeah no because then we’d have one extra leg and what would we do with this hi I have a solution makes perfect sense I don’t make everyone happy okay why don’t we scenery to grab a water pill cinnamon does it ha oh thank god i still have no legs hi um are you ready yeah we’re ready man okay excuse me hmm would you mind removing your penis so i can put mine in oh you first hey no no no no no the last guy you said that to me he bolted as soon as I was left ah that’s really rude like people have no class nowadays what do you want to do cool pull them out at the same time put it served by what what are you doing no sir fight no I don’t want to do a sword fight oh oh what if we measure them whoever’s bigger you know can kind of get first crack at this time okay I’m pretty confident of myself okay okay so you you pure be a bit longer on grass around thank you but I’m a bit thicker I guess call that a gentleman’s hi him good game sir see the thing is I’m kind of on lunch right now and I got to be back in 10 minutes so you’d really be doing me a solid if I could just go first and get silver my wife and kids are literally waiting inside for me hell are your kids

oh I’m four and six about boys right good good age yeah but I mean I I’d rather get my dick sucked right now than talking about my children you know yeah I’m gonna bum me out now I can understand that hey did you ever notice that the holes are just a little bit too high who’s making these things right oh my god I’m so glad you finally said that I’ve been on my tippy-toes this whole time I have to get going oh so soon yeah sorry man okay oh oh watch out i’m passing something through okay okay there you go oh nice to meet you Scott Hastings oh the pleasures all mine oh well I guess it’s not all right have a good day now and you you too happy hunting Oh it’s a progressive time two women can raise a king a prom king we respect Dylan’s heterosexuality what we don’t respect is his weight problem yeah he’s got a problem with waiting too long which is why we’ve decided to spearhead his promposal to Valerie Olivia the hottest girl in school I can’t ask her she has a boyfriend and she’s pregnant she needs her bed rest you are so much better than Aaron he is gross I heard he has an enormous penis that is disgusting who would want that I have a good day we have been very active in trying to orchestrate the most elaborate and romantic promposal they know there was the plan the old drug and bedazzle and just couldn’t get past the dragon stage I think the baby absorbed most of the drugs foiled by a fetus our next plan involve death alone I posing as straight roommate I mean I think we didn’t give her enough to make her do whatever we wanted but you did get a little carried away I’ll do whatever you want really make out with my wife I thought you said she was your roommate but our next plan is foolproof Oh home get out of here you fool by this time tomorrow Valerie Olivia will be accepting our promposal our sons promposal semantics Valerie we have a question for you those are the woman that stole my puppies and you’ll get him back if you answer one simple question um I’m I’m sorry I just I really worried about the back oh my tattoo who cares and you’re not going to prom with stupid sperm dumpster Valerie Olivier ok we’ll show them he’s going to prom with two hot sugar donuts hi I don’t know who I am anymore I chose

natural childbirth to keep my baby away from poisonous chemicals this is a mistake you can volunteer for a c-section do and remember it’s never too late for an abortion three months pregnant nine months pregnant the first birthday these our options let’s make sure no mother is clueless raising children is hard you can wear you down every day until each drive to the lake you got it you got it I’m movin tomorrow yes let’s get matching