Leash Leader

He was the manager at “Cold Subject” and he told me to turn in my resume Later I found out he wanted to have a threesome with his girlfriend, she actually came in to size me up I was an a-sexual virgin, but I got the job anyway When he quit he filled a bag up with merchandise and he told me I could have whatever I wanted So I got this I’m bored, see you bich It feels so good to get out. Nursing school is its killer All that body and blood Oh you want to play, want to see my O face? Oh Satan allow me to commune with your followers on the internet to gain all knowledge in exchange I will do your bidding I care about this place, I came in on my days off and took out the trash I want my job back So Molly what are you going to sing? Ambitious It would be great to have you come back

But unfortunately we are not really in a place to hire anybody right now and you quit I felt powerless but with everything coming out on social media and the me2 movement now there’s hope for change We should host a forum and let our community talk You know we had a sexual harassment seminar to address those concerns I was there, were you? People went outside after and laughed It was a reputable law firm that we contracted and who went outside? Of course and that’s not acceptable This place got called out and now you have a chance to address those issues I can help you do that It’s great that you would like to rejoin us, let’s keep this an ongoing conversation Was there anything else? No that was why I came in Are you gonna do anything except silence people? I do not silence people You do by saying you’re gonna discuss these concerns and then doing nothing. Do you have scissors? Yeah there’s some right over there This is so stereotypically corrupt it’s boring! Oh hi Molly what are you doing here? I was asking for my job back! Oh! That is. . . awesome? It’s your favorite customer! Everyone’s my favorite customer Heeeeeyyy Hi. What can I do for you? I wanted to buy some bud, but nothing fancy. I’m unemployed As you know everything here is premium babe What about the cartridges? All right, this. No not that mmm I’m sorry I’m a little stoned. Hmm this is what you need This is like 70% TLC. $40 for half a gram and $75 for a whole Bud Plans said that you had cartridges for $25 What do you have that’s not flavored? Bubblegum Kush? I’ll take Grandma MJ Thanks I don’t get a free joint or an edible? Yeah sure um Bubblegum Kush Okay great thank you What is that? What are you doing smoking weed on the street?

Get it together How’d it go? They didn’t give me my job back You will have to find another one, Yeah and don’t walk around the house practically naked After a controversial transition into Trump’s presidency a backlash has come from citizens taking to social media and outing sexual harassers in positions of power in their local businesses Hiii

Are you awake? I got you’re suicidal stone text messages. Are you okay boo? I can come over Okay but I’ll be smoking I can bring something for myself You are my fairy god mother. I love you I love you too, you bum Hi! Do you want to hang really quick while I get ready? You look like you had a night I hope you are being safe there has been an alarming increase in local internet hotties dying we might have a social media slaughter lurking I just woke up so could you not bother me with the dire state of maternity yet? Sorry. I brought snacks! Speaking of social media socialites have you heard from Morticia? Unreliable drug dealers? Surprise surprise She’s also my friend and she is reliable What the hippopotamus is happening? I asked for my job back oh They didn’t give it to me Well seeing as you just woke up your nonprofit released a statement they’re currently pausing programming foreign investigation Oh ish You feel better? I feel sadder there is no pleasing you I have been going to jobs interviews all week and the rejection is crippling It’s really messing with my confidence What about the theater you worked at before MJ Watz Media? No I left that for this ish and they won’t take me back Download LEASH. It’s an app for your phone you walk dogs the owners don’t care to see you My chosen people, helping me adult per the usual. But I duck everything up What are you going to do? Kill a dog? With my luck it will spontaneously combust No it is really so easy even a focus challenged stoner like you could do it You have to record the dogs doing their business so you practice your camera skills! I solved I solved everything!

I have to get out now, could I get some privacy? See you on the other side sorry but you have to experience the real world Let me see your phone Password please 666666 I’m downloading LEASH. Now you just request a walk and then BAM well I might take a second to get your first walk but then ma’am you’ll be walking and talking to canine pals and making money You are hella blind Aww you’re walking Swizzle Stick? I’m Pet Sitting him for a week it’s like a mini vacation staying at these bougie owners houses last place I stayed at had a bathtub the size of a jacuzzi I think I am going to be sick I’ll smoke this bowl and then I’ll walk some dogs I’ll smoke the rest of this and then go I need to modify this uniform to get into the dog walking mood God mark would kill me

Hi mark

Hey have you been here all day? No I was just out gonna walk When I invited you to live here I was under the impression that you were gonna have a full time job I do I downloaded the dog-walking app. I’m just waiting for someone to accept my request Then they’ll pay me to walk their dog Are you gonna do that stoned? That’s. . . that one’s $50 Really? Yes they’re professional paintings Hey do you work at that cool Vegan spot on 4th Avenue? I’ve seen you there the one with the high ceilings That’s his restaurant It’s beautiful Are you looking for servers? I waitressed in Northern California for 3 years Oakland? San Francisco Flur is a busy restaurant, stop by sometime. Definitely need hustle Thank you Thank you No thank you. I’ll happily give it away, knowing it is going to a good home Yeah Laura has a bunch of really beautiful stuff she is kind of a hoarder THEY are kind of a hoarder I’m so sorry. I keep getting the pronouns wrong, I’m so sorry It was a pleasure to meet you. You You are so classy Laura Oh please, you have your own charm I mean your stuff is great and all, but what are those? Those are someone I was five years ago I think I’ve sold one painting and that really sucks I probably do a lot better at a cafe or something honestly they’re really good you just trying to sell it for too much That’s selling out It’s selling You want me to put my paintings on the wall of the cafe like some mainstream person? I think I am going to to go borrow some money from my mom, so I’m gonna head out The day is only 75% over Yeah and I don’t think the next 25% are gonna be that profitable. See ya wouldn’t wanna be ya! Mommy! Molly! What a surprise sweet heart! I know it’s been a long time since I visited but I. . . I just wanted to see how you are are Thank you sweet heart and I got you this! I sweated on it but. . Yep, no it’s beautiful thank you! You’re welcome. It’s a cactus and then it looks like a vagina You made it right you didn’t buy it, yeah? Yeah I made it, it represents womanhood like it is womanhood Sure

What happened to your foot? Oh I don’t know a couple weeks ago that happened I was going out to get the mail and Stimpy here just goes running after a critter I get knocked all ass over teakettle bout to go down catch my balance and then I take a step right in a pile of dog doo-doo on down I went God it still smells I’m so sorry mom! So other than that how have you been? Okay, it’s a lot to take care of and when you got up a dog like this with a p.a-sized bladder, I mean really honestly honey there’s days where I just wish I didn’t have them. He’s just so ill-behaved it’s hard to take care of Well you gave him too much freedom. I kept telling you he’ll never respect you if you give him too much freedom and now pee You’re one to talk. I gave you a lot of freedom And I’m a responsible adult I have a job walking dogs, so I’m not saying not You might want to take that back I’m not saying otherwise sweetie, I think that you’re a very good and responsible young woman you’re doing what you can with what you’ve got So I get it, I get it Hey who did these on the fridge? That’s your niece Tasha honey, she gave those to me You know what I think talent runs in the family. It might be hereditary Do you want to put mine up there? I mean it’s it’s like actually better than theirs I tell you what, when I take that one down I will put yours up. Okay sweetie? I think there’s room Well I don’t know I don’t really have any news life is been boring so I might just get going Honey you just got here I know, but I just wanted to give you the cactus painting It’s a it’s a rare cactus and it only blooms at night so it’s a special. . I love it, it’s like you honey Stimpy! Don’t pee on it! I kind of like it now Adds a little je ne sais quoi Stimpy are you an artist? You are the cutest gosh darned little artist You’re just a tail waggin, nose wet artist Okay mom I gotta go I’m so there you are But honey you just got here I just wanted to give you this and that was pretty much it Let me give you this No mom, don’t you need it, don’t you need this? You need this? No honey I want you to have it Oh thank you mommy. Do you have another five actually because. Yes, I am sure for you honey I do. There you are Thanks mom Come stay a little longer next time I will try my best, yeah absolutely I love you very much. I really do I love you too Alright bye mommy Whoa hey

Ish You look spooked. Wanna sit in the park? I’ve got a joint Okay I don’t know if I was super high earlier but I swear someone was following me Well the only way to get over a bad high is to get higher I need to get Stripe home. Hey what are you doing in Tucson anyways? Trying to find me a rich white woman Well I am definitely not rich Can I have your number anyway? Yeah thanks dude I need more friends Friends rule See you Who is that? For goddess sake It’s Molly No absolutely not. Tell her to go home. Tell her we have our own lives to live I can’t, she is a mess Your dog-walking app has me all messed up Hi girlfriend Hi Molly, I’m glad you’re not the police Did you guys just wake up? It is 7am on a Sunday. And we have a very active nightlife Come on lets go talk on the trampoline why the intensity? I feel like I’m being followed Something terrible happened when I was walking one of the dogs Hey are you sober right now? That’s not it Sorry you are just literally freaking out Are you still journaling? No not really Okay well paranoia is trending. Literally anything grounding would probably help right now like art, or even photography You’re right please tell the girlfriend that I’m really sorry for intruding like this It’s no problem she has her deal too Heading to the airport?

Yep, visiting San Francisco I don’t usually take this route It’s a shortcut Please pull over I think you’re lost Hey hey honey, hey hey you know I’m in the game right now I know I know

Get out! What, why? Your shoes, take off your shoes. Do it! Okay Why did you make me come in this way? It’s my roommate he is trying to get rid of me. and that’s the quietest way You could stay with me Man what are you doing? It’s like midnight Yeah and I’m really freaked out! when I was walking Stripe earlier like I passed out Chill where where’s your pipe? Do you believe in The Devil? I believe in the individual Exactly, The Devil in the individual. It’s their power, their will I believe that people are naturally good actually so Then you an innocent soul Okay well I’m getting pretty tired so maybe we could hang out some other time You sure? Oh yeah it’s getting pretty weird so I’m gonna ask you to leave. Please get out What’s going on? my friend was just leaving Why did he leave that way? It just seemed like the quietest way This is ridiculous Molly you’re gonna have to go Dude what? Give me a chance No it’s not gonna work Moses

Moses Moses Oh please please please please Moses come back Red hair dye

Your room smells disgusting

Is that at all? What is this? Period blood Molly you left your keys in the door Get the stains out or replace it. You need to leave today What? But I got a dog, I mean a job walking dogs Finish the job, then we’ll talk Korn never digests Damnit You don’t know me Lionel! How’d you get in here? Something horrible happened The talk I’m watching is dead! Where is it? What are you doing babe? You’re making me nervous I haven’t heard from Molly, is it weird that I’m checking her LEASH to look at her location? She’s a big girl. I bet she’s fine No she’s really not. Not since MJ Watz Media I do not understand at all why she cares It’s kind of culty. She gets fixated a lot. Gets herself in these weird situations I’m worried about her it’s not like her to go this long without messaging me Babe are you serious? I don’t think that apps intended for lurking your best friend I’m gonna trust myself on this something is off. Can you please just help me? Bad girl. You need training

You need someone to take control to simplify things Do you want to get high? Dumb bich Hello don’t mean to intrude We’re looking for Molly. Molly. Molly! Hold on, I am trying to help you Molly! If you’re a good girl Molly you can help me dismember him Them! Dismember? Always with us I want to go with you. Let’s get high Laura! Laura are you awake? I got my period! Laura undo the harness and I can get us out Is it supposed to hurt this bad?! It’s locked, hold on I’m gonna get you out hold tight okay? Molly that’s Cat that’s my partner we can’t leave her We have to Do you guys need help? Help get them home What about you? I’m going back for Cat Hey how are your walks going?

Good I walked four dogs today You should have brought one! Anyways you’re just in time for our celebratory burning Good to see you sister I am finally leaving the house again, thanks to this witch We’ll finally be together all the time again Amazing, life solved let us never be victims and always practice self agency let us support one another in achieving power let us protect each other within that power in sisterhood against all evil let no technology man or substance stand between our empowerment