MATT: Hello everyone and welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons (whooping and cheering) MATT: Anyway! Before we hop into tonight’s episode, we have some quick announcements to get through so bear with us. First and foremost, we have our fantastic friends of old returning to cosponsor tonight’s episode: our friends at Backblaze SAM: That’s right, Backblaze– Is the camera on me? The camera is on me! Backblaze, guys, you know them. Backblaze backs up all of your data, movies, music, video, cosplay designs, character sheets, fanart, more for just five dollars a month– MARISHA: Five dollars? SAM: I use the service. No gimmicks. No add-ons No gotchas. Works on Mac and PC. They also have the option to restore by mail. Backblaze will send you a physical hard drive! Yes and it is hardcore I don’t know. They backed up over 35 billion files. They’re legit. Go to backblaze.com/criticalrole to check it out. Start your free trial now and let them know you’re coming from our show. This will also, this is the important part, be Backblaze’s last sponsorship for a while. It’s a little bittersweet so please, if you’re are going to go show them some love, now is the time to do it. Go to backblaze.com/criticalrole. Yev, our fantastic friend from Backblaze, wanted to say thanks to the entire cast and crew for being so awesome and welcoming and a very special thanks to me, Sam, for all the effort I put into the ad reads. Aww So to thank him, I wrote two songs. I’ll only sing one but I’m going to give it to the cast– the cast can decide which one. Do you want to hear Spice Girls or Golden Girls? LAURA and TALIESIN: Golden Girls TRAVIS, MARISHA, and LIAM: Spice Girls TRAVIS: Matt’s going to decide it TALIESIN: Contentious MATT: Oh, this is really bad SAM: You’re going to roll for it? MATT: Yeah, I’m going to roll for it. All right, if it’s one to ten: Golden Girls. 11 to 20: Spice Girls. That’s going to be Golden Girls SAM: Okay. (singing to the tune of “Thank You for Being a Friend”) Thank you for being our Yev Backed up all my shit again and again. Your app is true. You’re a pal and you pay for our show. And if I nuked my laptop, viruses fill the whole thing up with porn. I would see you and you’d send my hard drive back to me and the card attached would say, “Thank you being our Yev.” LAURA: We love you, Yev TRAVIS: Much love Backblaze MATT: Much love, Yev and all our friends at Backblaze and our fantastic returning sponsor for this evening as well, our friends at D&D Beyond In case you missed it, they’ve launched their new show, “Heroes of the Vale”. We talked about it last week a bit. DMed by the fantastic Mike Mearls, designer of Dungeons & Dragons Fifth Edition at Wizard of the Coast, amongst some of the great members of the team. He is DMing his own world, Nentir Vale. I’m familiar with it from fourth edition. It’s actually a really cool world An amazing cast– friend of the show TJ Storm, Todd Kenreck, friend of ours at D&D Beyond, Shelly Mazzanoble, a bunch of other amazing people on the show. Check it out. I think their second episode just went up recently, which is awesome. It’s every Wednesday at 2pm Pacific time on twitch.tv/dndbeyond and you can follow it @DnDBeyond on Twitter as well. This is the last month to use coupon code SamIsYourHero SAM: SamIsOurHero MATT: Or our hero. Sorry. SamIsOurHero. My apologies. The lettering there was– for 25 percent off all digital books purchases in D&D Beyond there. So make sure if you’re going to do it, take charge and utilize this fantastic opportunity. You only got a few more weeks so do it. (Pumat Sol voice) Do it! TRAVIS: (Pumat Sol voice) Take advantage. I made a– MARISHA: Oh yeah, you did good. Yeah, that was good MATT: That was good TRAVIS: I think I let down Matt MARISHA: You get a gold star for the day LIAM: I’m working hard, buddy MATT: Exactly. (Pumat Sol voice) “It’s also Pumat week here. While we’re in a similar vein,” (normal voice) so we’re celebrating everything Pumat here at Critical Role. We have the new t-shirt in the store, which you can look at here. It’s available You can head to critrole.com. shop.critrole.com, I believe, to go ahead and get your t-shirt. Also, we have the new Pumat voice pack that is available through our friends at– was it– Killer Voices! Thank you. My brain– MARISHA: Overwolf MATT: Overwolf and Killer Voices. You can download the voice pack for a number of popular games League of Legends, PUBG, Fortnite, DOTA 2 and as opposed to the regular announcer, you get to have
“me tell you when you kill somebody, ‘Poor fella.'” Or when you lose a match being like, “Oh, maybe you should have rolled a paladin.” So yeah, we did a whole shit ton of variations. This Saturday is a video stream of me and Taliesin here playing Fortnite for the first time for both of us! TALIESIN and MATT: It’s a thing TALIESIN: It’s entertaining MATT: If you have played a lot of Fortnite, watch and marvel at how terrible we are at the game TALIESIN: This will be you one day LIAM: You didn’t dominate? TALIESIN: I don’t even– MATT: It depends on what your goal is in playing the game– TALIESIN: We succeeded MATT: If your goal was to play it and build stuff, we did that a few times LAURA: Good job, guys TALIESIN: We did. It was nice. We played it more like Minecraft really, like Minecraft with snipers. Oh, this is such a nice garden we’re– and it’s over. I don’t even know what happened MATT: We had some sweet moments. We built some memories together TALIESIN: We found a bunker MATT: We found a bunker and we outfitted it– TALIESIN: I really enjoyed that bunker MATT: It was beautiful TALIESIN: There was balloons MATT: That would be this Saturday on twitch.tv/criticalrole. You can find all that info at critrole.com. All right, we also have your FPS stream coming up soon Travis on top of all that– TRAVIS: That’s right. Oh god, I know! At least I’m not the only one that’s going to get butchered Yeah, next Tuesday, December 11th at 4pm– MARISHA: We’re the worst Twitch streamers TRAVIS: Yeah, no. Totally. We’re the anti-Twitch streamers. There’s really good people like Ninja and then there’s us. Every yin has a yang, right? So Foster and I, next Tuesday the 11th, we’re going to play some Black Ops as part of our recent fundraising campaign for Operation Supply Drop! It will be live at twitch.tv/criticalrole LIAM: I bet you guys clock in at like just below average– TRAVIS: We probably won’t suck too much. We’ll have moments of brilliance followed by lots of swearing LAURA: When was the last time you played? TRAVIS: It’s been months LAURA: Yeah TRAVIS: Many months because of baby LAURA: Because of baby TRAVIS: And in the in between moments that I do have: Red Dead. Sorry Black Ops, but I got to get back in there and practice (laughter) MATT: That was a look LIAM: That took a dark turn MATT: Yeah, they worked it out. Thank you Travis Excited for that. All right, and before we kick into tonight’s episode, we have something cool to show you guys. Very happy to unveil this so I figure, let’s go ahead and jump in. Roll the tape [water bubbling] [thunder] [explosion] (chanting) Role! Critical! Role! [dramatic Critical Role theme] LAURA: Roll the dice! (singing) The adventure begins, they were always beside you, your nerdy best friends, and the DM to guide you. And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead Villains beware ’cause you’re ’bout to be dead ASHLEY: (singing) They got magic and flair, they got falchions and cunning. They don’t see over there there’s a monster incoming. Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don’t think twice. Put your fate in your hands, take a chance, roll the dice! (chanting) Role! Critical! Role! ASHLEY and LAURA: (singing) Can you answer the call? Dig in deep in your soul as the legend unfolds. Now it’s your turn to roll! [fire burning] (laughter and cheering) MATT: That was pretty awesome. That’s our new intro guys. Travis and Sam kept this a secret from all of us for a long time TRAVIS: Yeah we did. For over five months, Sam and I worked with some extremely talented animators in the Philippines. We have to give massive props and love to Kamille and Kevin Areopagita. They are absolutely brilliant. You can check out their twitter page at @karekareo. Their patreon is there. Go. Give them both love. Support their patreon. They are far too talented to not be doing more. We were so lucky to work with them on this They were absolutely amazing. Every little bit of creative input we gave them, they just smashed it We couldn’t be happier
SAM: Yes and we have other people to thank for putting this whole thing together. Specifically, our lovely Laura Bailey and Ashley Johnson for singing that theme song LIAM: So good! SAM: We put together a new song for you guys and the ladies took the leads and they killed it Destroyed it. You might also hear some light backing vocals from a young Sam Riegel and a young Travis Willingham buried deep in there and we should also give a shout out to Jason Charles Miller who co-wrote the song and also did a lot of the instrumentation and made it really cool and rock and roll and stuff. You’ll see– you won’t see. You’ll hear, there’s a little violin part by Colm McGuinness who’s a friend of the show. He recorded a violin part TRAVIS: Did the little Wildemount theme song SAM: Yeah. My brother-in-law Peter Habib of Mr Fantastic did the final mix for the song. It was really fun to do and now it’s out there and you guys saw it and we hope you like it TRAVIS: So good and you’ll be able to see all of them now as much as you want but I figure we’ll let Matt make it part of the new official thing– SAM: Oh, and also I think the song– Do we announce about the song? TRAVIS: It should be available– SAM: The song will be on iTunes and stuff soon? Now-ish? TRAVIS: We’ll see. As soon as tonight. Maybe tomorrow or two weeks. It just depends on how that service works MARISHA: I think now SAM: It’s called “Your Turn to Roll” so look it up TRAVIS: “Your Turn to Roll.” A Critical Role thing MARISHA: The TDs are prepared to play it again if we so choose LIAM: No, they don’t want to see it. We should just get to the game, right? TRAVIS: You shut your damn mouth! LIAM: Roll it again! TRAVIS: Let’s let Matt make it official MATT: Without further ado, let’s go ahead and jump in to tonight’s episode of Critical Role [water bubbling] [thunder] [explosion] (chanting) Role! Critical! Role! [dramatic Critical Role theme] LAURA: Roll the dice! (singing) The adventure begins, they were always beside you, your nerdy best friends, and the DM to guide you. And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead Villains beware ’cause you’re ’bout to be dead ASHLEY: (singing) They got magic and flair, they got falchions and cunning. They don’t see over there there’s a monster incoming. Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don’t think twice. Put your fate in your hands, take a chance, roll the dice! (chanting) Role! Critical! Role! ASHLEY and LAURA: (singing) Can you answer the call? Dig in deep in your soul as the legend unfolds. Now it’s your turn to roll! [fire burning] MATT: And welcome back. Good job, Liam LIAM: It’s the only thing I’m here for MATT: So last we left off, the Mighty Nein, after being pulled through a series of pirate adjacent and straight up pirate adventures across the Swavain Islands here in the Lucidian ocean, on the ship, the Squalleater, under the Captain Avantica’s rule, you made your way to Darktow where you attempted to find a way to discredit her. Find a way to not be dragged into her business in the future. It got a little messy but you managed to avoid it coming to too terrible a head until you are brought into her ship last week where a battle unfolded, in which most of you managed to skitter away with the contents of this journal that you had taken from her as well as the translation for the cipher that was used to write it. Managed to make your way to the Plank King in time and have him bring his resources to the docks before any more of you could be further destroyed Summoning a demon helped as part of the distraction, as well as patiently waiting. Some quick thought process moments. You guys did pretty damn well. You managed to just break enough laws to be put not in favor of the Plank King but managed to have done a large favor enough to be
let leave and never return. Taking the hobbled ship that you guys had busted with you, you made your way out into the open ocean, heading northeast from Darktow and the Dragshallow Reef, in search of the possible shipwreck that started Fjord’s destiny in the direction of Uk’otoa. After days of travel and a few location spells cast, you managed to find a blip at the base of the sea Using your newfound ability to instill the ability to breathe water within the party around you, you sunk to the bottom, holding onto cannonballs, and began to walk the bottom floor in search of the shipwreck, eventually coming upon a valley caldera that slowly sinks down. You noticed, aside from the whale that just skimmed your presence, the bow of a derelict, wrecked ship sitting there, surrounded by seaweed in the barely-visible, creeping daylight making it this deep in the waters. So with your lights aglow and the wreck before you, Mighty Nein, what do you want to do? TRAVIS: I saw it. That’s all I needed. We can head back up now SAM: Good TRAVIS: No! We’re doing this thing, Nott. We’re pushing through SAM: We’re doing what? No TRAVIS: Yeah LAURA: So we’re searching for the orb? TRAVIS: Well, I mean, that’d be great, if we could find that MARISHA: Do you have any idea of where it might be? TRAVIS: No MARISHA: All right TRAVIS: No LAURA: Is there anything else we should look for, Fjord? TRAVIS: Let’s see what’s down there in general Hope it goes without saying, if you find any remains, let’s be respectful TALIESIN: Of course LAURA: Do you have a pair of jammies or something that you lost in the boat that you want us to look for? Your bedroom or something in there? No? TRAVIS: No LAURA: Okay TRAVIS: Do we see any other sea life? MATT: We’ll get to that because there was a note left here on my table that I almost forgot because the game has started. This was written and left behind by Logic as he passed through earlier. It says, “Flip over and read as soon as the game starts.” MARISHA: Oh no MATT: “You, Sir Matt, are the sexiest being in all of Neverland. Sincerely, your boo, Logic.” (laughter) MATT: That’s very sweet MARISHA: It’s canon MATT: Thank you, buddy TRAVIS: Thank god it’s not, “Here’s an Astral Dreadnought.” MATT: Yeah, I know. Loading the gun against you guys for the game tonight. It’d be pretty funny LIAM: Does that mean that Logic was the whale that just passed us by? MATT: There you go MARISHA: Oh my god! LAURA: We still have Pass Without a Trace up. I just cast it because of that whale TRAVIS: Oh, that’s right MARISHA: Hey, Caduceus TALIESIN: Yeah MARISHA: You feeling any creepy, spooky, dead people, or crawlies? MATT: Make a perception check TRAVIS: Oh, right TALIESIN: That’s actually a good idea. I’m also going to– MATT: With disadvantage because there’s no light here, and it’s a very short range, I’d say Because you guys extinguished all your lights when the– TRAVIS: That’s a natural one LAURA: Ooh, starting out right. Woo! TALIESIN: Perception checks? MATT: If you want to TALIESIN: Also, I’m going to cast Eyes of the Grave. I’m going to do this a couple times SAM: Eyes of the Grave TALIESIN: Eyes of the Grave! That’s perception of 22 MATT: With disadvantage? TALIESIN: Oh, with disadvantage MATT: Because you do not have darkvision, and it’s very dark under here, and the distance is very short. You don’t have any lights up LAURA: We did have lights up MATT: You extinguished them when the whale came by. You can put the lights back on if you want TALIESIN: Oh, okay, I thought we had put them back up TRAVIS: I have darkvision MATT: That’s true, you do have darkvision TRAVIS: The first one was a five, so six MATT: Okay, there you go. Six TALIESIN: 12 MATT: 12. Okay TALIESIN: With Eyes of the Grave MATT: Got you. Eyes of the Grave, you don’t sense anything gathering your attention as you attempt to reach out your essence to feel for any undead presence. Nothing. But the very cold waters here beneath still keep you a bit chilled. It is very cold down here. Looking around best you can with the lack of light, aside from the swaying bits of seaweed that are all fluttering up and slowly swaying, reaching up hundreds and hundreds of feet before the darkness takes them, you see the bow of
that wrecked ship. Not much else catches your attention MARISHA: Fjord, what was the name of the ship again? TRAVIS: (raspberry) SAM: You know, the ship that started your whole backstory? MATT: It’s the Tide’s Breadth TRAVIS: The Tide’s Breadth (laughter) SAM: Your origin story? TALIESIN: Yeah, the sheet of paper you turned in nine months ago TRAVIS: I don’t think I named it in my backstory! The Tide’s Breadth, yes LIAM: I am going to summon Frumpkin to my shoulder and look through Frumpkin’s eyes because Frumpkin, as an octopus, has darkvision. So I will see that way MATT: Perception check with Frumpkin LIAM: Oh, not so good. That’s his? Just a seven MATT: Still a shipwreck. There is a shipwreck ahead of you guys LAURA: When we step, does it make a powder go up because it’s like (poof) on the ocean floor? MATT: As you do step across the surface of the sea floor, there are bits of the silt and sediment that clouds around your foot with each footfall LAURA: This is all fish poop! (spits) See that, Nott? SAM: No, no thanks. Ugh LAURA: Should we go? TALIESIN: I’m perfectly happy to head towards this TRAVIS: Let’s go for it MARISHA: You said we had Pass Without a Trace? SAM: I’m going to try to drink underwater TRAVIS: Like a seal MATT: Okay SAM: Going to attempt to drink alcohol underwater MATT: Yes. So you take, and you tip it back. The thing is, in order for the liquid to leave the vessel, you have to send air to occupy the space; there’s a transition there. But you’re breathing water, so it will mix water with whatever’s in there LAURA: It’s salt water, too SAM: Oh, shit LAURA: You’re going to get the poops if you do it MARISHA: Super dehydrating SAM: I’ll try to coax it out. (blowing) MATT: I mean, you’re not having to siphon it like gasoline! As soon as you open it, it begins to diffuse into the nearby sea. It’s very briny alcohol SAM: Gets the job done MATT: This darkened cloud is filling around Nott’s face LAURA: Is this where Dashilla is? Or is she at a different place? TRAVIS: Per the song? I mean– MARISHA: It said that she was in this Diver’s Grave general location, so maybe she’s not here LAURA: Oh, so there could be something really scary in here TRAVIS: I mean, what are the chances? The ocean’s huge LAURA: The chances are really good, Fjord. They’re really good MARISHA: Yeah, do you have our luck? You’ve seen it TRAVIS: Glass half empty, I get it. It’s all right MARISHA: Apparently she has a hungry eye LAURA: (laughter) TRAVIS: Got eyes right now. All right, we’ll push forward MATT: You guys begin to approach, stepping carefully towards the base of this. The ship, where it’s sitting, it’s resting at an odd angle, the front of it, the bow slightly angled upward You can see the side where this large explosion tore through the hull. Already, for as long as it’s been there, which has not been but a year maybe, tops, you can see the rust and the barnacles beginning to gather and claim the shipwreck to join. But that’s best you can make out with the lack of light down here TRAVIS: Should we stick together, or do we want to fan out and go around? LIAM: I could send Frumpkin in ahead of us to have a look around, if you think that’s wise TRAVIS: Sure, yeah, that’d be fine MARISHA: That’s funny LIAM: Yes, it is MARISHA: Sorry TRAVIS: As we get closer, can we see from outside the ship the extent of the damage from the initial explosion? MATT: You’d probably have to go around a little bit, but yeah. You walk around the opposite side of it. Looking in, you can see there’s some damage. You can see there are holes blown out on the side that you were facing. As you curve around, you can see where there’s a large, gaping hole in the side of the cargo hold MARISHA: Fjord, I know we’ve heard the story probably a dozen times, but can you refresh us on what happened the day this ship sank? TRAVIS: Yeah, no, I chased Sabian down into the hold of the ship, and he was messing with a package. I saw a fuse burning. As I chased him back up above deck, there was an explosion, and it threw me from the ship. It’s nice to know that it wasn’t a small explosion. A real motherfucker of a
thing, apparently SAM: Were you being pursued by anyone? TRAVIS: No, we were in a storm. He wasn’t supposed to go below decks, either; that wasn’t normally his thing, so it was strange. When he went down there, I saw him. When I confronted him, he threw a dagger into my chest MARISHA: What? TRAVIS: Yeah, well, he turned on me real fast. He seemed to know that what he was doing wasn’t up to snuff. When I chased him above, he was at the bow of the ship, getting ready to exit or jump off Obviously he knew what was coming next. Then the explosion went, and the last thing I saw was the ship as I was being thrown off MARISHA: So you all were double-crossed, clearly TRAVIS: Yeah. I don’t know why, though. I didn’t see anybody MARISHA: Onward, I guess LAURA: He made it off safely? TRAVIS: I don’t know. I assume MATT: You did hear tale of him passing through Nicodranas not too long ago MARISHA: Sabian is the same person as Vandren? TRAVIS: No, Sabian was someone I grew up with who was also brought by Vandren to work on the ship Yeah, I’ve known him for many, many years, and he’s always been a piece of shit of one variety or another. Only in the most recent years did I think that maybe that stuff had faded between us, and we’d found a way to work together. But apparently not MATT: As you guys have gotten closer to around the side of the ship where the most extensive damage was taken, you can see where the top of the deck and the edges are blackened from a fire that broke out, probably during or shortly after the explosion, but before it sank fully. The edges of the cargo hold that are blown open– as soon as you begin to peer in the inside, you can see the interior is blackened as well, amongst the other patches of sea life that have begun to reclaim it as a home, and bits of seaweed, and general sea vegetation that has begun to find its way inside the empty ship TRAVIS: Ooh. As an idea, sword in my hand, as we start to push in through that hole of the explosion, or peer in, can I lead with the sword and see if the light and/or eye is reacting in any sort of way? Or is it just static? MATT: Make a perception check TRAVIS: Not my best. Nine MARISHA: Nein MATT: Nein. As you begin to swim into the darkened interior, holding the sword in front of you, it doesn’t seem to react, adjust, or give you any sense that it is able to guide you in any particular direction TRAVIS: In the sea, certain creatures like to make homes of vessels. You want to send in your–? LIAM: Ja, that’s no problem. I give a little tug to the leather tied at my knee and cast Mage Armor. I send Frumpkin in, and reach for Nott, and hold Nott by the shoulder. Look through Frumpkin’s eyes and send him in to look MATT: Okay. Frumpkin’s octopus form makes his way into the cargo hold of the Tide’s Breadth wreckage. Go ahead and roll a perception check for Frumpkin and take a look around LIAM: Terrible. Just terrible. Five MATT: Unfortunately, there’s so little light down here, even for the darkvision. There’s the basic outline of the interior hold. Frumpkin can notice the outline of pieces of broken crates and other elements that may have once been stored within the ship, but very little detail is visible LIAM: Fjord, do you think it is safe to send in some light with him? TRAVIS: Yeah LIAM: Tap me on the shoulder if you hear me because I cannot hear you TRAVIS: Oh TALIESIN: Quick point of order, who’s got the node? We should probably decide now LAURA: Oh, I have the node TALIESIN: Who was the last to node? Are you noded? LAURA: I can node, but somebody else could node TRAVIS: Why don’t you node? TALIESIN: You node LIAM: (gutturally) Node LAURA: Will water get in the bag if I look in– TALIESIN: I assume we would have done it. I was just playing flashback, but I don’t know MATT: Well, if you haven’t yet, then you’ll be doing it now LAURA: Is it okay to do that? MATT: One way to find out SAM: That sounds crazy LIAM: My spell books are in there, so please– I can’t hear anything
TALIESIN: That was more of a point of order LIAM: I am bowling ball sending one globule of light in after Frumpkin to go with him MATT: Okay. It emanates and lights up the immediate vicinity. The balls don’t give off a lot of light; they’re not torchlight, in comparison They work in conjunction to create a larger space of light, but it does help a little bit. With that benefit, looking in the space, you can see there are no bodies. There are no signs of any individuals who were on this ship, but you also know from your experience on the sea that those who die at sea usually float to the surface TRAVIS: And drift MATT: Yes. You do see some metallic materials that have grown rusted. You can see the shattered crates that I mentioned before. A lot of them are burned and destroyed. As Frumpkin drifts past one of them, you look inside. There may have been some metal bars or some sort of a construction-type iron material, but it’s mostly melted and fused together. In fact, as Frumpkin makes his way around, all the elements of metal that were immediately in the vicinity– it looks like there was a cannon. There were some other bits of– all you can make out is debris at this point, but other things that were metallic in nature that have since bowed and fused from the heat of the explosion and the fire than ensued thereafter before it sank LIAM: It’s mucky and dark in there. We would have to take a closer look; I cannot make out much TRAVIS: If you don’t mind, I know this ship better than anybody. Jester, would you come up with me, and we can explore the captain’s quarters? Might be a good place to start LAURA: Of course TALIESIN: Do you need a light? TRAVIS: No, I’m okay TALIESIN: All right TRAVIS: I’ll drop the cannonball, and I will push up off the ground, Superman-style, in the water, and swim up above the deck LAURA: I guess I’ll let this– okay. I let it go, too, and float very ungracefully behind him MATT: Now because you guys don’t have air in your lungs, you’re not buoyant, to the point where you’re not fighting weight. It brought you to the bottom easier, so you didn’t have to swim your way underneath, but now you’re here, the cannonball is unnecessary to weigh you down LIAM: We’re Ed Harris now MATT: Essentially. You arc over, and you land on the deck. For a moment as you glance around, it’s very spooky to be back in this familiar place in a very different setting. It’s a strange, ghost-ship type chill that runs up your back, looking around and having flash memories of pulling up the anchor on that side, and having conversations over that edge at sea. You and Vandren having a deep conversation there under the main mast TRAVIS: His quarters are that way. We should push forward LAURA: Okay TRAVIS: Swim over MATT: Okay. You swim through the door. It’s currently open, and the hinges rusted and pulled off, and the tops of the doors broken and akimbo You make your way into the darkened interior chamber. The door to Vandren’s chamber is closed What do you want to do? LAURA: Do you think it’s locked? TRAVIS: I imagine so. Could be still LAURA: He wouldn’t have trapped it or anything? TRAVIS: I would say no, but there seem to be more than a few things that I didn’t know about him LAURA: I don’t have any– I mean, I can try to look for traps or something, but– MATT: Yeah, go for it. Roll, let’s say, a perception, to see if you see anything strange or out of the ordinary LAURA: 14 MATT: 14. Doesn’t look like there are any traps affixed to the door TRAVIS: You’re so strong, might want to give it a– LAURA: (rattling) MATT: There’s a bit of a rust resistance, but you’re pretty beefy. You shove it with your shoulder, and it opens up. You can see all the silt get kicked off and slowly cloud the space around it as you push the door open LAURA: Now I know why you asked me to come with you MATT: You step through and look inside. You see the familiar quarters of Vandren, though they look tossed TRAVIS: Really? MATT: As you look inside, there’s the table where he normally sat and read his books. That table is set over; the shelf is pushed over. Looks like most everything in here has been, in some way, shape, or form, tossed. You remember there being all sorts of decorations that he kept in here, metal candle holders. It’s all missing TRAVIS: It’s all missing. Is there anything that I– MATT: At first glance
TRAVIS: Is there anything that I see that is definitely out of place or changed that I remember? MATT: Make a perception check TRAVIS: Third one of the day. Let’s go with this dice. Natural one MATT: Oh, buddy SAM: You’re nervous down there TRAVIS: Apparently. You can pee down here and nobody’d notice MATT: You just stand in the doorway, as opposed to doing a thorough investigation of the room, and glance around, and begin tying memories and moments, and getting lost in that headspace. You do a not-very-thorough check over the interior TRAVIS: Maybe we should get the others and– what fucking? Extra? LIAM: She’s giving you your pills TRAVIS: I’m always eating stuff. Maybe we should get some of the others to come in and do a more– LAURA: Thorough investigation? TRAVIS: Yeah LAURA: I mean, okay TRAVIS: Unless you want to give it a look? LAURA: Does it look like somebody stole things from here? TRAVIS: Yeah. He was a tidy man; he certainly wouldn’t have left things like this. It looks like, either before or after it went down, somebody was definitely fucking looking for something LAURA: Do you know if he kept anything in a secret place? TRAVIS: Do I? I don’t think I do LAURA: Because maybe he took it all with him Maybe he left TRAVIS: Could be. Yeah. I’ll go get Caduceus and Caleb LAURA: Beau is really good at finding things, I think TRAVIS: I’ll go get everybody LAURA: I’ll keep looking around the room while he– MATT: Okay, you’re doing a thorough investigation of the interior? Roll an investigation check as you rummage through the wreckage LAURA: 13 MATT: Okay. Looking through and moving some things aside because you’re a sturdy tiefling, pushing things out of the way while you’re off, you glance underneath the table in the far left corner. You see a reinforced metal box, somewhat melted along one edge, just faintly. It’s left open. The lock mechanism on it appears to have been broken by brute force. Where it was forced open, there are some heavy claw marks along the edges where the metal itself looks scarred. The interior, as you pull it open and look inside, is set with a leather recess on each side, top and bottom, soft leather with two halves that are somewhat spherical, like to hold a small apple LAURA: Oh no. It got taken. Fjord’s going to be so upset. Can I cast Locate Object and see if I can sense the orb around within a thousand feet? MATT: Yeah. You cast Locate Object, concentrating on the orb. Let me have a quick glance at this LIAM: Is one the same as another? MATT: All right SAM: If you find the orb, you should totally bond with it and get all the water powers that Fjord wants LAURA: Oh my god, that would be so amazing LIAM: She already has them SAM: Just because MATT: Okay, so you’re not looking for the orb that Fjord has, something similar to it? LAURA: Right MATT: Okay. You do suddenly acknowledge– your head pulls at the back of your skull, and you glance over your shoulder away from the ship LAURA: (gasping) SAM: Hello? MATT: Just as everyone else returns and comes in the chamber LAURA: Fjord! TALIESIN: Well, this is a mess LAURA: Fjord! TRAVIS: What? LAURA: It got taken. The orb is gone TRAVIS: No LAURA: Yeah, but it’s over there! TRAVIS: What do you mean? LAURA: My spidey sense is tingling. It’s behind us. It’s over there. I used Locate Object TRAVIS: That’s amazing! Lead the way! LAURA: You want to go now? You don’t want to look around or any–? TRAVIS: No, let’s go now! SAM: You dragged us in here to look around, and now we’re not going to look around? TALIESIN: I think doing a once-over might not be a bad idea MARISHA: Why don’t you guys go get a head start and we’ll– LIAM: In the ocean? Let’s take– LAURA: Locate Object lasts ten minutes. If it takes longer to get there, then– MARISHA: You guys go LAURA: We’ll come back MARISHA: We’ll check it out real quick TALIESIN: Maybe bring the little octopi with you? LIAM: Yeah, I schloof Frumpkin to the back of Caduceus’ head TALIESIN: Oh! Okay, that’s a–
MATT: (slurping) The tentacles wrap around and grasp TALIESIN: That’s– okay MATT: It’s like a reverse facehugger LAURA: Who’s coming with Fjord? TALIESIN: I think we should probably all stick together, one way or the other LAURA: I think all of us should go TRAVIS: Do you know how far away it was? LAURA: Within a thousand feet MATT: Roughly, the direction you know, you sense it’s probably between seven to eight hundred feet from your current location TRAVIS: All right. Yes. Fine. Take five minutes, six minutes, and– LAURA: No! LIAM: While they’re debating I spit out four globules of light and start casing the room MATT: Okay LAURA: You have two minutes! TALIESIN: I’m going to let the flora and fauna in here know that we’re looking for some stuff. One of our people used to live here. We’ll be gone, and everything’s going to be fine MARISHA: I’ll do a quick glance for anything that looks like it could have loose boards, secret compartments MATT: Make an investigation check LAURA: While they’re looking, I want to point out to everyone that whatever it was that took this ball has claws, and it looks like it could break this thing open. It looks like it might do some damage to us TRAVIS: Is it dented at all, or just scratched? TALIESIN: How big a creature does it look like was taking a–? MATT: Make a nature check TRAVIS: Yeah, like an inch between the claw marks or a couple inches? LIAM: 21 on investigation MARISHA: 19 MATT: Okay TALIESIN: 14 MATT: Okay. Looking at it, the claw marks are probably roughly an inch to an inch and a half apart, and there’s four of them. It looks like an indentation for a thumb across one side, almost like whoever was grabbing it was pulling it open this way and, as they pulled it open, their fingers scratched across the metal as it bent and broke open LAURA: It’s bad TRAVIS: While they’re doing this, you can tell if it moves, right? LAURA: Mm-hmm TRAVIS: Okay MARISHA: They mentioned that Dashilla has claws that grasp. Just throwing that out there. Really committed that song to memory SAM: Hungry eye, claws, yeah MARISHA: Claws that grasp TRAVIS: Glad you remembered that. I’m kind of forgetful MATT: As you guys finish doing your once-over of the chamber, you find a false shelf bottom under one of the bookcases that was toppled over. As you pull inside, it looks like it may have been what this box was inside. It has been pulled open and broken, the wood compartment partially shattered in the front. Looking through, this room has been pretty ransacked LIAM: The books are basically mud at this point, correct? MATT: Yeah, what remains of the handful of bound leather tomes in the vicinity have mostly joined the muck at the bottom of the ocean TRAVIS: Here, underwater? Yeah TALIESIN: Maybe it’s time to– TRAVIS: Might be. Did you find anything underneath? Any remnants of that explosion, package, shrapnel, anything like that? TALIESIN: Just a little walk around, just to get a sense of the place MATT: Okay. Going through, you go through a number of cabins, chambers. This isn’t an incredibly massive ship. It was mainly used for sailing and for transport. It’s strange for you to go back, once again, following through Caduceus and looking and finding your old chambers as well. A lot of the rooms from the explosion have been destroyed Because of your generally perceptive persona, you can see elements where this explosion happened There are stains of individuals that may have been in the proximity, but no sign of their bodies TALIESIN: Hm. No MATT: You begin to piece together the power and the source of this detonation, and you get caught up slightly thumbing through the memories and remembering the people and the faces that used to serve on this ship with you. Remembering the room where Sabian stayed. Wondering, if Sabian survived, who else may have? But he also was the one jumping from the deck when the explosion hit Everything has been cleaned out. This appears salvaged. Somebody has come through here and taken from the interior TRAVIS: I think it’s safe to assume that that was done after the ship sunk. A hole this size wouldn’t keep a vessel in the water very long MARISHA: No. Do we know anything about underwater creatures that would be interested in, I don’t know– TRAVIS: Glowing eyes? MARISHA: Yeah. Jewels? TRAVIS: Pretties? MARISHA: Underwater goblins? MATT: I mean, there are a number of creatures of folklore and things that are greedy no matter
where they live TRAVIS: Locate Ariel MARISHA: Yeah, mermaids? I don’t know MATT: Make a history check LIAM: It could also be someone who was having dreams, Fjord TRAVIS: True. Very true MARISHA: 18 MATT: I mean, there was one other time that you encountered creatures that seemed to be gathering and hoarding things that were shiny and happened to be affiliated with underwater existence MARISHA: Yeah, right TRAVIS: I’m sorry, I can’t wait any longer. Do you mind if we go? This is all too strange LAURA: Be on guard MATT: Where are you exiting? TRAVIS: Fuck it, we’ll go back up above deck, and we’ll jump off the stern in the direction that Jester– MATT: Okay, make a perception check for me LAURA: Are the globules of light around? LIAM: If we are in a group, they are. They were around the group TRAVIS: Goddamn it! LAURA: That’s why I said switch to a fucking dice that I gave you! LIAM: Take your pills, Travis. Take your pills TRAVIS: Three MATT: In your excitement in having this thread of possibility towards recovering this third and final orb, from what you understand, you immediately turn around and swim and dart outward towards where the deck is, into the open waters, just as your eyes clarify to see three large figures that are floating about 20 or so feet ahead that seems to have encircled the deck. In but a split second, you can immediately make out their outline. You can see the sides of the frilled head. You can see the long, fish-like lower torso, and you can see the familiar tridents with chains affixed to the edge LAURA: Fuck! Now we’re underwater with them? MARISHA: Now we’re going to fight underwater? MATT: Let’s roll initiative TRAVIS: Oh no! MATT: It seems that, in these darkened waters, light sources can be very easy to see LAURA: Shit, shit, shit LIAM: How about a high roll? Nope TRAVIS: We’re good, we’re good LAURA: Shit, shit, shit balls, shit SAM: Guys, Backblaze can back up your stuff Whoa! LAURA: Wow, this is so cool, Matthew! SAM: Someone went to the aquatic store TALIESIN: Thank you, Petco! TRAVIS: Yeah, dude LAURA: Look at that cool-ass busted-up ship SAM: Did you bust up the ship, or does it come busted up? MATT: It came like this, busted up LAURA and SAM: What! MATT: Marching order, if you don’t mind, of who was behind Fjord TRAVIS: I’ll let y’all crawl up LAURA: I would have been close behind because– LIAM: (singing) Caleb takes the rear MATT: Yasha probably right behind there MARISHA: I’ll be behind Yasha MATT: All right. Caleb takes the rear TALIESIN: Yeah, I don’t know if I was quite outside yet. I think Beau and I maybe switch places, if that’s okay MATT: Beau said she was behind Yasha MARISHA: Well, I can switch with Cad MATT: That’s up to you. Fine. Caduceus inside there. All right, then there’s Beau. And Nott? SAM: I’m way back there, not even looking MATT: Chilling with Caleb. All right TRAVIS: Wanting to be drunk, but not really SAM: Oh, I’m drunk LAURA: Are you? How are you drunk? MARISHA: He’s dehydrated SAM: I got drunk before we came underwater. That’s the only way I could go underwater LAURA: Oh no. These trident things are really bad Do you remember how bad they are? SAM: No! MARISHA: Don’t they have harpoon chains? LAURA: Yeah! MATT: Initiative order, please. 25 to 20, anyone? TALIESIN: Crickets TRAVIS: Oh shit! MATT: 20 to 15? LAURA: 15 TRAVIS: Yasha got a 17 MARISHA: 15 MATT: Yasha got 17? All right TRAVIS: Wow, that’s high for her MATT: All right. Then 15 for Beau and Jester? All right. 15 to ten? TRAVIS: 14 MATT: 14 for Fjord TRAVIS: Fuck! Guys! MATT: All right, ten to five? LIAM: Sechs SAM: Seven MATT: All right TRAVIS: Oh Jesus MATT: Caduceus? TALIESIN: Four MATT: All righty TRAVIS: Yeah. Good start. Here we go! The pendulum swings wildly MARISHA: From where we were last week MATT: Great. Top of the round, first up is Yasha TRAVIS: Yeah, she is! Right, yeah, and she is back there? Oh, and there they are. Okay, lovely Underwater, is her speed halved?
MATT: Everyone’s speed is halved underwater TRAVIS: Except mine MATT: Except yours TRAVIS: My armor. Wow, good fucking deal. Okay MARISHA: Man, this sucks. How are we supposed to get to those assholes? We can swim! TRAVIS: How far in this diagonal movement would 20 feet get Yasha towards the nearest enemy? MATT: Her movement speed is 40, right? TRAVIS: Yeah MATT: 20 feet would get her almost into melee with this one TRAVIS: Almost? MATT: Yeah, just outside of it TRAVIS: Okay, she will swim towards that merrow, and with her bonus action, she would like to rage SAM: Underwater rage MATT: All right, so rage. Then she can use her action to dash and move again if she’s not attacking with it TRAVIS: Oh, yes, then let’s do that and get within melee MATT: All right, she gets into melee with that figure there. You got it. That finishes Yasha’s go. Beau and Jester, your turns MARISHA: You want to go first? LAURA: Sure. I’ll use Guiding Bolt MATT: All right. Against which one? LAURA: The one that Yasha’s attacking MATT: Okay, go for it. Roll for an attack TRAVIS: As a point of order, can she also yell, “Don’t let them leave!” LAURA: Yasha? MATT: Sure MARISHA: They always bring more friends LAURA: 16? MATT: 16 hits. Go ahead and roll damage on that one TRAVIS: That was more Caleb than Yasha, but– SAM: Don’t let them leave! LAURA: 4d6! That’s cocked MATT: Slightly Norse TRAVIS: That’s it LAURA: 11, 15, 17 points MATT: Nice! That one, next attack on it has advantage LAURA: Yes MATT: As Yasha says that, Jester glances over, puts her hand out. This sparkling, radiant light goes through the water, leaving this vacuum trail behind as the bolt slams into the merrow, brightening up around its chest with the impact of the magical energy. Now its form is glittering with that light, making it very easy to spot its location. Do you want to move or stay where you are? LAURA: Yeah, I’m going to back up MATT: Back up back inside? LAURA: Yeah. Yeah, that’s good MATT: You move inside the chamber there. Okay LAURA: To be not within five feet of Caleb. I want to be against the wall of whatever that– yeah, like that MATT: You got it. That ends your turn. Beau, what are you doing? MARISHA: Am I within 20 feet of the guy that she just marked? If I swim up? MATT: You have 25 feet. You can get right up to it. I’ll shift these guys here a little bit to make a space for it where they were MARISHA: I jump off and parkour off SAM: Slow motion parkour! MARISHA: I get really frustrated, and so I dog paddle the rest of the way. Then I’m going to take my– MATT: Is your speed 50, then? MARISHA: No, it’s 45. That’s why I was saying 20 feet MATT: Oh, got you. So it would be 20 feet because you round down in D&D unless it specially says otherwise. So you’d be just out of range MARISHA: Then let me spend a ki point to do Step of the Wind MATT: All right, that’ll get you the distance you need there MARISHA: Which sucks, but that’s okay. Then I’m going to attack MATT: (singing) Do it! MARISHA: Just jam my staff into its face. Not too bad. 22 MATT: 22 hits MARISHA: Okay. That’s good. Ten MATT: Ten points of damage. You have advantage on that attack, by the way, because of the Guiding Bolt MARISHA: Let’s see if it’s a natural 20. It is not a natural 20. Then, okay, hang on, I used my bonus action. Oh, I get one more hit LIAM: Cocked MATT: You do not have advantage on that one. Only the first one MARISHA and LIAM: It was cocked MATT: Oh, got you MARISHA: That’s not good, though. That is 12 MATT: 12 misses, unfortunately. The first strike manages to clock it in the face. However, as you go to swing backward, the water resistance in itself– which, actually, this is a good point of order. Remember, you’re underwater. Remember this going forward; melee attacks and weapon attacks have disadvantage (groaning) TRAVIS: Fuck a duck. Yeah, okay, that changes shit. That’s got to go. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah TALIESIN: I mean, it means your advantage cancels that out, though, so– MATT: A melee weapon attack. Ranged weapon attacks automatically miss if they’re beyond the normal range. The attack roll has disadvantage unless the weapon is a crossbow, a net, or a weapon that’s thrown like a javelin. So technically, Nott, your attacks are fine underwater LAURA: But magic attacks are fine MATT: Magic attacks are fine, but melee weapon attacks have disadvantage MARISHA: Who is that next to me? Is that Yasha? MATT and LAURA: Yeah MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to spend another ki point to do Patient Defense MATT: You’ve already used your bonus action to–
MARISHA: Oh, shit. Sorry, you’re right. I forgot that that’s not a free action. Okay, I’m done MATT: No worries. After the resistance of the water keeps your blow from coming with too much impact, the merrow spins to you. As its jaw opens, there’s the rows of tiny, sharp teeth. It’s creepy when it’s right in front of you. These are similar, but different than the ones you fought before up at the swamp. These have longer, more sallow features. They seem to be a little bit more ocean-based, and as such, there’s a variation to how they look. That finishes Jester’s and Beau’s turn. Fjord, you’re up TRAVIS: I will, with my bonus action, cast Hexblade’s Curse on this merrow, the one that’s in the middle, and I will fire two Eldritch Blasts at it MATT: Go for it SAM and TRAVIS: (drawn out) Eldritch Blasts TRAVIS: Oh, they’re both 18s. So 25 to hit both MATT: Both hit! TRAVIS: Four, so that’s 12 points of damage. The second one is nine points of damage, so 21 MATT: It gets hit twice in the chest. It tries to loop around now. You can see the shapes against the little bit of light you can see from the surface above, but it’s still very dark in the vicinity aside from the globes he has behind TRAVIS: Actually, you gain plus three to damage rolls on Hexblade’s Curse, so instead of 21– MATT: Oh, so you cursed that guy? TRAVIS: Yeah, with my bonus action, I did that first. So 22 total, so add three. With my movement, I will move back under the deck where Caduceus and Caleb and Jester are MATT: You going to stay in the doorway or move into the chamber? TRAVIS: One step in MATT: All right. One step into the room? TRAVIS: Yeah MATT: Okay, so you’d still be there TRAVIS: Not so I’m blocking the entry, but just so that I’m in, out of thrown-harpoon way, you know what I mean? MATT: Okay, so you probably move that way then That ends your go. That brings us to their turn SAM: Oh no MATT: This one right there in the front, it’s going to make– let’s see here SAM: 16 attacks MATT: One bite with its claw and one with its bite against, I’m going to say you, since you’re the only one who actually managed to connect with it physically. As you rush up into its face and slam it once, the other attack misses as it curves under. It goes (snarling). Its jaw opens to try and snap towards your shoulder and neck area MARISHA: Yasha gets a sentinel attack, yeah? LAURA: Yeah, that’s what I was going to say MATT: No, they do not because they both have sentinel. We have to remember that! MARISHA: Fuck! TRAVIS: If they both have sentinel–? MATT: Yeah, if they both have sentinel, they can’t bounce attacks. We kept forgetting that in the past MARISHA: You can’t do that, technically LIAM: There’s too much awesome in one spot MARISHA: That’s literally what it is MATT: Because the combination becomes super broken. That’s going to be a– LAURA: Don’t attack the same thing, you guys! MATT: 19 to hit MARISHA: Yeah MATT: All right, and then the claw attack. Ooh, that’s going to be a 22 to hit. You suffer from the bite attack nine points of piercing damage MARISHA: Suffer me the little merrow MATT: Then the claws deal ten points of slashing damage MARISHA: All right MATT: It’s going to attempt to move out of the way of each of you because it doesn’t know any better It has a swim speed of 40 feet, so it’s going to attempt to pull back to get some range. You each technically get an attack of opportunity on it MARISHA: Pop pop MATT: It’s hoping. Disadvantage on each attack TRAVIS: I’ll make it reckless MATT: You can’t make– reckless you have to do on your turn, I think MARISHA: One was a natural 20 from Gil MATT: What was the other? MARISHA: Can’t use it. It was a seven. 14 for me SAM: Oh, that’s not bad MATT: 14 hits MARISHA and LAURA: Yay! TALIESIN: Good to know MATT: Reckless attack: When you make your first attack on your turn. So you have to choose it on your turn TRAVIS: Got you. 19 to hit MATT: 19 still hits! Yeah. You both can attack, and it does not move. It tries to pull away, and– MARISHA: That’s right, because sentinel! (cheering) MATT: There you go. See, now it pays off TRAVIS: 13 points of slashing damage MARISHA: 11 points of damage from me LAURA: Punching damage! MARISHA: Of punching damage, yeah MATT: It tries to back away, hoping that the water itself will help protect it to pull away. Nuh-uh The two ladies are not going to let it flee Whack! One hit from Beau as Yasha, through the water, carves with the greatsword, Magician’s Judge, hitting across the chest. You can see this deep red cloud form around its chest as it tries to pull away. You hold it in place, unable to escape MARISHA: Just like the opening title sequence, you guys MATT: There you go LAURA: Yeah, I know. I was about to say! MARISHA: So good! MATT: This one that’s hexed is going to move down towards the deck. It’ll glance through and it sees
Caleb. It’s going to move in a little closer to Caleb and as it pulls its harpoon back, it throws it forward towards you. It’s going to attempt to harpoon you, Caleb. That is a 19 to hit (groaning) LIAM: I– shite– take it LAURA: But you’re going to get harpooned in! You’ll be grappled! LIAM: There’s nothing to do about it MATT: You take 11 points of piercing damage. I’m going to need you to make a strength check LIAM: I’m good at those SAM: Oh, that’s your best. You’ll be fine MATT: It’s contested LIAM: That’s a six MATT: Yeah. You get pulled out of the interior LAURA: No! LIAM: How much did I get harpooned for? 11? Was it 11? MATT: 11 LAURA: Can we grab onto him for a reaction? MATT: Nope! Caleb stands there in the back, looking, and all of a sudden (impacts) into his chest. The thing pierces in the stomach area there and then gets pulled out. You try to reach for him, but he’s already gone and he gets pulled out in the middle of the open area. From there, comes the shallow priest’s turn LAURA: Oh no! SAM: The shallow priest? MARISHA: We fought one of those last time SAM: We did? MARISHA: Yeah! LIAM: It lightninged us TALIESIN: It went great MARISHA: Yes, we did LAURA: What’s its weakness, Beau? MARISHA: I’m looking MATT: The shallow priest is going to move down and it’s going to move to there. It’s going to attempt to harpoon Caleb out of the other one’s grasp as well. It’s trying to chain pull you away. That’s going to be a 17 to hit LIAM: Shield MATT: The harpoon ricochets off of the Shield and goes limp. The creature pulls on the chain as it falls back into its grasp. It’s currently clutching its staff in the other hand and it’s going to pull back for the rest of its movement there out of the vicinity. That’s going to end their turn. Now it comes to Nott SAM: (screams) Seeing my friend pulled away, I will swim reluctantly forward, stagger near him, and say to the creature that’s captured him: Hey, fuckey! What do you give a merrow who sings poorly? Auto-tuna! (groaning) TRAVIS: Wow! SAM: (laughing) I’m drunk, motherfucker! LIAM: I’ve abandoned my son! TRAVIS: The last syllable delivered that one SAM: I will cast Tasha’s Hideous Laughter MATT: Oh, gotcha! It’s a wisdom saving throw? SAM: Wisdom, yes. 14. Not a high mark MATT: The one that currently has Caleb. That is going to be a 12. Success! SAM: So do they let go? It says they fall prone, which they can’t do underwater, but they are incapacitated, it says. So do they let go? MATT: The harpoon that pulled Caleb in has been pulled out of the wound and there’s a little bit of blood that’s now trailing from the initial impact. Caleb is not currently held or grappled It’s just not in his face SAM: Oh, he’s not impaled or anything? MATT: Not at this moment. When it pulled him in, it pulled it out of his body, but it’s right in front of him SAM: Then I will use the rest, if I have any remaining movement, to grab him by his scarf and pull him back away MATT: You can’t quite get up to him, unfortunately. Because it’s 15 feet underwater Your speed of 30 is reduced to 15, and it took 15 feet to get far out. You could, as a bonus action, dash to move up to him, but you can’t pull him back because you don’t have an action to try and grab SAM: Got it. Ooh, tough. I will bonus action dash and try to push him away. Push Caleb to the right or left out of the way MATT: I’ll say make a strength check SAM: Okay. Nope. Oh wait, this is at disadvantage MATT: Yes SAM: Even worse! One. I’ll save you! MATT: You feel this small push on your shoulder and you see Nott drift upside down in front of you. As the merrow who pulled you in with this terrible, toothy grimace and starts going (chuckling) and is bowling over, chuckling. It’s a weird moment. That finishes Nott’s go. Caleb, you’re up
LIAM: So those two are incapacitated in this second, right? MATT: That one is incapacitated LIAM: The one on top is not? MATT: No, he’s just held in place LIAM: Okay. Well then, I will cast Slow on the shallow priest and the one that’s laughing in front of me as well as I back away MATT: All righty TALIESIN: What does Slow give them? LIAM: Slowness TRAVIS: Half their speed and– LIAM: Hurts their AC. It’s a wisdom saving of 16 MATT: Concentrating, both of you guys. Wisdom saving throw. That’s a failure on the shallow priest and the one that’s over there rolled an 18 So that’s incapacitated is fine with the Slow; however, the shallow priest is slowed LIAM: So shallow priest’s AC is down by two, disadvantage on dex saves, and he can only do an action or a bonus, not both MATT: Correct. If it tries to cast a spell, it takes a full round back before it can even hit LIAM: I back away half my speed towards where everybody is in the boat. I move behind my goblin Freund MATT: You just manage to get back inside of the chamber. The doorway’s still open. All right, that finishes your go. Caduceus, you’re up TRAVIS: Come on, Cad! TALIESIN: Am I going to double this up? How are you feeling? LIAM: (gurgling) Okay. Pretty good TALIESIN: Pretty good? I’m going to use a bonus action– I can do two first level spells in a round, right? If one’s bonus action, one is an action, that’s fine? MATT: Nope TALIESIN: Just one or the other? MATT: One has to be cantrip and the other can be any level TALIESIN: Cantrip, there we go. Thank you. I’m going to scoot past you with half of my action, if that’s okay, and take a look outside to see what’s up. How far away– MATT: You have five more of feet in movement there, stepping out of the doorway TALIESIN: I have five feet no matter what? Okay Goddamn. There’s no getting back in anyway, so fuck it. Yeah, there’s no sense trying to get back inside. I’m just going to be vulnerable. How far away is that one? Is that more than 30 feet away? MATT: Yeah TALIESIN: There’s no way I can get close enough to get within 30 feet right now, is there? MATT: You can move five more feet, you might. You have to eyeball it and may take the risk TALIESIN: You know what? It’s not like distance is a problem here. I’ll go in an angle and de-clump– yeah, right there MATT: (counting) I’ll say with the angle, 30, he’s just within range TALIESIN: I think all three of those are within 30 feet then, at this point. I think that’s pretty fair. I’m casting Bane on all three of them (oohing) TRAVIS: Fucking Caduceus! TALIESIN: That’s a charisma save against 16 MARISHA: There’s no way these fuckers are charismatic MATT: Nope! That’s a fail. One in the middle, that’s a ten, that’s a fail. Over here, that’s a five. That’s a fail. They all have a minus one on their charisma TALIESIN: They all take a negative d4 from an attack or saving throws. All three of them MATT: Not bad for a 1st-level spell. It doesn’t get a lot of love TALIESIN: It’s not a bad 1st-level spell MATT: The water around seems to get even darker for a moment and ice crystals begin to form at the edge of their bodies as the chill becomes unnatural and begins sluggishly shift their movements, this cleric spell sending itself into their form. That finishes your turn? TALIESIN: That’s everything I can do MATT: Finishing that up, we can do the top of the round. Yasha’s up first TRAVIS: She’s going to take two reckless attacks at this one that is near her for just a straight roll MATT: Go for it. Yasha, by the way, is no longer raging. She wasn’t attacked or didn’t– Oh no, but she did get an attack of opportunity, so she would be. You’re correct TRAVIS: So 20 on the first one MATT: That hits TRAVIS: The second is a 24 MATT: Yeah, both hit TRAVIS: The first one (counting). Damn it. Seven plus three is ten. And the second one– MATT: First blow, as she swings by, carves through as it goes taut for a second, all of its muscle seizing, and then goes limp as its torso begins to drift away from the lower half of its fish body and it begins to slowly float off TRAVIS: Great. Shit. So if I didn’t need that second attack, did I waste it on the one that was there? MATT: Right now, you still have the second attack It depends on the movement you have and I don’t what else you can get in range for SAM: Just hit Beau! She’s right there MATT: Did you roll disadvantage on that attack, by the way?
TRAVIS: I made it reckless, so it was just a straight roll. I’ll use the 20 feet to head down towards the one that Caduceus is right in front of MATT: I would say that gets you right about there You’d be just in range for the one that’s incapacitated TRAVIS: Is that melee? MATT: Yeah TRAVIS: Okay, yeah MATT: It’s just a– down, it swims down TRAVIS: I should have to roll, yeah? MATT: Yeah, reroll for this one TRAVIS: 17 MATT: 17 hits! TRAVIS: Okay, great. This does not have the extra d6, so that’s three plus six is nine, 12 points of slashing damage MATT: 12 points of slashing damage LAURA: Is it hexed, did you hex it? MATT: Well, this is Yasha’s turn LAURA: Oh, this is Yasha MATT: For your Tasha’s Hideous Laughter, I believe it gets to make a saving throw when it takes damage, is that correct? SAM: I will check. At the end of each turn and each time it takes damage, the target can make another wisdom saving throw MATT: That is a natural 18 TALIESIN: Wait, take negative d4 to that, too MATT: That’s right, yes SAM: But the target has advantage on the saving throw if it’s triggered by damage MATT: Okay, the advantage didn’t help it TRAVIS: I’m sorry, Matt. Will you add two points of damage the last one that I just hit– MATT: Ooh, minus four brings it to 14 SAM: That’s the spell– MATT: So it still resists it TALIESIN: Wait, what? MATT: It reduced it to 14 but 14 was the DC TALIESIN: Okay. Ah, well. But it’s still got Bane LAURA: That was still really cool TRAVIS: Will you add two points of damage to him for rage damage, because I didn’t add that LAURA: You’ve got Bane TALIESIN: You got Baned MATT: All right TALIESIN: Bane’s pretty cool MATT: That finishes that go. All righty, Yasha’s turn’s done. Beau and Jester MARISHA: (heavy breathing) I’m swimming to that guy. I’m going to Step of the Wind. Can I make it? MATT: You don’t need to, you can get there– MARISHA: No, that guy MATT: Oh, I see MARISHA: Can I make it if I Step of the Wind? LAURA: Wait, before you do it I’m going to Guiding Bolt him, so you get advantage MARISHA: Oh, are you? MATT: You would have to Step of the Wind to get to him MARISHA: Okay, and then I’ll let Jester go first LAURA: I’m going to step out and Guiding Bolt him, that was my plan MATT: Okay, go ahead and attempt that MARISHA: So as she’s swimming– LAURA: That definitely hits. That’s 15 plus seven MATT: Yeah, no, that hits (splat noise) TALIESIN: Hey! Eh SAM: Terrible, just terrible LAURA: 12 MATT: 12 points of damage to the shallow priest, you got it LAURA: Then you get advantage! MATT: With that, you move forward, swimming through the water, and then Step of the Wind, use another ki point to get up there, fists at the ready LIAM: Negative two to his AC MARISHA: Okay, that is a 22 MATT: 22 hits MARISHA: Not too bad, nine. Nein! MATT: Nine points of damage on that one MARISHA: Second roll does not have advantage, correct? It has disadvantage? MATT: Well, that first one should have been just a regular roll. Did you roll with advantage? MARISHA: I did MATT: Just roll once for the first attack for me again real fast MARISHA: I mean, it’s the exact same thing. It’s still 22 MATT: There you go. For the second attack, it’s disadvantage MARISHA: Okay. Don’t fuck me, Gil. 17? MATT: 17 still hits! MARISHA: Hey, Gil! Nine MATT: There you go, nine and nine! You swim forward, rocketing forward, Aquaman-style, and then two big hits to its face. The shallow priest takes the impact, but its body reacts slowly. The spell that’s surrounding it is forcing it to move and shift at half the pace it normally would MARISHA: I just slow-mo go– LAURA: From behind Beau, off in the distance, I, at the same time– MATT: Like rack focuses, from Beau’s middle finger to Jester’s middle finger. Perfect, all right That finishes Beau’s go. Fjord, you’re up TRAVIS: Yes, I will come out of the quarters to move within melee of the one that everybody’s having the party around? TALIESIN: You may not be able to get to him MATT: Oh no, you can because you don’t have to worry about it TRAVIS: Yeah, I have 30 feet. I’ll take two swipes with my falchion at disadvantage MATT: Correct TRAVIS: They’re both 15, so that’s a 23 to hit MATT: That hits TRAVIS: That’s seven points of slashing damage, and the second one is only an 11 MATT: 11 to hit? TRAVIS: Yep MATT: That misses, unfortunately. As the first one carves through, the bloody cloud that’s forming from the wounds it’s sustaining gets thicker and bigger. It’s looking pretty hurt TRAVIS: Cool MATT: That finishes your turn? TRAVIS: Yes MATT: Now it’s their turn. All right. The shallow priest, who is currently slowed, is going to use its action to do its multiattack, so that’s two attacks on you with its bite and claw. It’s not going to use any of its spells LIAM: Does it get a multiattack, or does it just get one attack? MATT: No, that’s right. It doesn’t get multiattack when it’s slowed
LIAM: It’s a single attack MATT: Then it’s going to harpoon you. It’s not going to bother with the claw and the bite. It’s going to pull back with its one harpoon and try and thrust it into your chest MARISHA: Wait, to me? MATT: Yes TALIESIN: With a negative d4 LAURA: Negative d4 MATT: Correct. That’s two off of it; that brings it from 19 to 17. What’s your armor class? MARISHA: 19! MATT: The Bane prevents it from hitting you. As it goes and thrusts the harpoon forward, it telegraphs it just enough that, as it leaves, you (whoosh). It nicks the very edge of your skin, ever so slightly, and that’s it MARISHA: I’m like: That’s going to get infected now, in the ocean TRAVIS: It’s the salt water. It’ll be white around the edges and really sting MATT: It’s going to attempt to move away SAM: It’s moving away! Get it! LAURA: Oh no, it’s moving away! Sentinel MATT: Go for it. Roll for an attack MARISHA: Disadvantage, right? MATT: Yep MARISHA: It’s not good. No, I rolled a two and a one LIAM: Its speed is halved MATT: Correct. It would have a swim speed of 40 underwater, so it can only go 20. It manages to pull out of the range up there, and at the end of its turn, it gets to– LIAM: Make a save MATT: Both of them make a save because they’re both– well, that one, no. That one missed the Slow. That is a 11 plus three, 14 TALIESIN: Minus four. Or minus a d4 MATT: Minus four, ten. Yeah, it’s still slowed TALIESIN: Don’t you fuck around with me MATT: It’s starting to turn around, too, seeing how things shifted here. It saw the light, and you can see what little bit of his expression underwater at this point. They followed this light to inspect it, thought they had an ambush on a creature, and suddenly this party emerged. Now, well, that one’s in a really rough spot. This one is looking like it’s about to turn and try and flee That’s going to end the shallow priest’s turn and the other one’s turn. I haven’t done that one yet, right? That one is going to attempt to use its harpoon against you, Fjord TRAVIS: Okay MATT: Since you ran up and carved at it. Or, yeah, it’s going to try that. That’s a natural 20 TALIESIN: Minus– well, it doesn’t matter because it can still only bring it down to 18, right? MATT: It’s just not a critical hit TALIESIN: What? MATT: Your ability, you’re talking about? TALIESIN: No, I’m saying that with the d4, it wouldn’t bring that attack down at all, would it, enough to be managed? MATT: It would still be a critical hit for a natural 20, but it would then be a total of– it would be a 22 still TALIESIN: Well, I’m canceling the critical, anyway MATT: You use Channel Divinity once to cancel the critical on that. As the harpoon comes towards you, there’s this slight, dull green barrier that seems to slow the penetration of the immediate lightning-fast pace of this harpoon. It manages to carve into the front of your armor and pierce through ever so slightly. It’s not a critical hit, unfortunately TALIESIN: Nope MATT: That’s 11 points of piercing damage to you After it carves through and wounds you, it pushes through the other way, and you manage to roll off It would’ve been far worse damage if Caduceus hadn’t helped you in that moment. It’s going to attempt to move away. Yasha gets attack of opportunity TRAVIS: Yes, she does. Reckless for a straight roll MATT: Right, because it is now reckless TRAVIS: This is her only reaction. Oh, that’s a 20 million. 25 MATT: That’ll hit SAM: I don’t get an attack? MATT: No, because you were pushing him. You weren’t moving in that area, so you’re not quite in melee with him TRAVIS: 11 plus three is 14. 14 points of slashing damage MATT: 14 points of damage. It turns around and darts, and Yasha just (whoosh), one swipe with her sword. She’s finishing them off left and right LAURA: Yasha is such a badass MATT: Ashley, come back! MARISHA and LAURA: Ashley, come back! TRAVIS: Or take your time! Barbarians are dope, yo MATT: That finishes the merrow’s turn. It did not go well for them in that brief instance. Nott, you’re up SAM: Am I allowed to use my crossbow? MATT: Yeah. Your crossbow actually– TRAVIS: Doesn’t have any damage to it, yeah LAURA: That’s what I said TRAVIS: You drunk fucker SAM: I don’t know what you people mean. How far is they from me? MATT: They’re probably about 40 or so feet from you SAM: I guess I’ll doggy paddle up ten feet TRAVIS: Like a turtle SAM: I’ll sea turtle up to them, ten, 15 feet, so I’m within 30 feet, and then I will fire my crossbow. It’s at disadvantage because it’s in the water? MATT: Actually, crossbow does not get hit with that problem because they’re piercing. However,
what’s your inside range? It’s 30 feet? SAM: 30 feet MATT: Then yeah, as long as you’re inside range, then you’re fine. You swim up there towards it, as you’re kicking your feet and cocking the bolt back into it, and go to aim, just within range. You see it as it’s turning around to attempt to swim away at full speed SAM: Did it just take its turn? TALIESIN: Yeah SAM: I’m going to hold my action LAURA: What? Why? LIAM: Let him! Let her SAM: I mean, no one’s near it LAURA: Yeah, we’re trying not to let it get away SAM: No, I know, but aren’t you going to go up there? LAURA: Nobody will be able to get up there TRAVIS: I mean, I could, but I don’t want to TALIESIN: We don’t want them reporting back to people LAURA: I guess, if it just took its turn, then there will be Yasha– SAM: There’s a whole round. I guess I’m going to shoot, not knowing what everyone else is doing I’m drunk. I’m going to shoot TRAVIS: There’s not a lot of people that can get over there SAM: It’s going to be 24 to hit MATT: That hits SAM: 27 to hit, or something like that TALIESIN: 27? SAM: It’s a lot, but it’s only 1d6. Oh hey, it’s a six LAURA: Plus? SAM: Plus five. So 11 MATT: 11 points of piercing damage to the shallow priest. You see another plume of dark ichor pouring out the side of its wound, as the bolt is now about three or four inches jutting out of the side of its torso. It glances sidelong at you and seems to inspire it to try and move faster. That finishes your turn, Nott? SAM: Bonus action, shoot again MARISHA: Kill it SAM: Oh, that’s a three MATT: Not so much on that one, unfortunately SAM: I can reload! MATT: Finishing that go, Caleb, your turn LIAM: From where I’m standing, I see Nott firing drunkenly up at an angle. I’m going to move forward, and peek up in the direction that she is looking, and see the shallow king, and say: Fick das!. I will cast Magic Missile at level three MARISHA: Fick dish? SAM: It’s fish dick LIAM: No, it’s fick das TRAVIS: Not anymore. Fish dick MARISHA: Fish dick LAURA: (whispers) Fish dicks SAM: I’d love a nice fish dick right now with some tartar sauce TRAVIS: I could eat the shit out of those LIAM: A total of 19 MATT: 19 damage. All right, how do you want to do this? TRAVIS: Oh, you got him! LAURA: You killed it? LIAM: The five of the Magic Missiles will spiral around Fish Dick’s head and come in at a different angle, and five of them go (impacts) MATT: Okay. It gets some distance. Caleb, feeling comfortable, lets the missiles arc past and up and over as they swirl and gather. They all come in at once, and this darkened shape, suddenly there’s a flash of arcane energy and this strange little bubble explosion where it was. The impact happens, and its arms separate from the impact. They hit in the torso, blew it apart from the inside. There’s a little cloud of darkness left behind as it begins to slowly disseminate among the rest of the sea water around LIAM: I will step back in five feet TRAVIS: Check their corpses. See if they have anything on them that can tell where they came from SAM: They came from the ocean, Fjord TRAVIS: Nott, really, we’ve got to get over this fear, man. We got a job to do SAM: No, they’re from the ocean. Where else would they be from? TRAVIS: But where in the ocean, where? SAM: Isn’t all the ocean the same? TRAVIS: No MARISHA: This one’s the Great Barrier Reef. I don’t know MATT: Here in the shadowed darkness LAURA: Can we search the bodies? SAM: I’ll search the bodies MARISHA: We search the limbs MATT: On the two regular merrow that you came across, you find that they have their harpoon. There are definitely teeth upon their bodies, and claws, as part of their physical form They’re not carrying much on them, per se, beyond the equipment they have and a handful of collected shiny things. A few copper. A key that was scrounged up that’s old and very rusted. Looks like maybe a handful of– MARISHA: Zelda has taught us we want the key MATT: All right, you have a rusted key TRAVIS: Don’t do it like that. You know that shit’s important MARISHA: Mm-hmm TALIESIN: 11 months from now: Do you have the rusty key? TRAVIS: If only we could close the barrier to the– MATT: The shallow priest, since it was destroyed a ways off, some of its accoutrements were left to scatter and float below. You do manage to find, on what pieces you do scrounge up, a heavy necklace
made of these larger pearls, probably worth a little bit of gold on the side. That’s about it LAURA: Can I hold up one of the fish claws and see if it matches the claws that are on the box? MATT: Okay SAM: I’m going to take the pearl necklace MATT: All right, write that down. Inspecting where the hands meet with the box, no. These are a different size– LAURA: You guys, it’s not the same fish claws! It’s something bigger that had the box SAM: Oh, fuck you MATT: Slightly larger. At least, it seems– SAM: I’m out of here, guys. It’s been real TRAVIS: Wait, Nott! We’re about to cross the area of the button graveyard that lies beneath the waves SAM: Can you hear yourself right now? You sound pathetic. Pathetic! TRAVIS: I’m just looking out for you, Nott. I don’t want you to– SAM: I understand when I’m being condescended to, even when I’m drunk! LIAM: All right, let’s treat this situation with the seriousness it demands. I douse the lights and bring Frumpkin down onto my own head like a mask, so I can see through Frumpkin vision MATT: All right, so you have a– LIAM: Like a Zorro mask with Frumpkin’s beak right there MATT: You see these two dark octopus eyes and then this little, unshaven grin poking through underneath LIAM: Little Zemnian man who’s like: Can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner! TRAVIS: Jester, I’m sure all that action probably messed up your Locate? Or is it still up somehow? LAURA: It only lasts for ten minutes, so I mean, we might be coming to the very end of it MATT: I’d say you have a few more minutes on it still because you didn’t cast any other concentration spells, and you didn’t take any damage, so you’re fine LAURA: It’s over that way. It’s still 700 to 800 feet TRAVIS: Would you lead the way? LAURA: Me? TRAVIS: Yeah LAURA: Sure TALIESIN: How many people got hurt in that fight, by the way? Three of us, I think, took damage? LIAM: No, ein bisschen LAURA: You can’t hear anything TALIESIN: While we’re walking, it’s going to be about a ten-minute walk? Is it insane to–? MATT: You don’t know TALIESIN: Yeah, as we’re walking, I’m going to start Prayer of Healing, I guess. I know it takes about ten minutes, but it’s a one-spell heal-all MATT: Okay, if you want to TALIESIN: If that’s okay. Everybody gets, oh! 17 points back MARISHA: Whoa! MATT: We’ll consider that as you guys are traveling. You’re helming this journey from that direction? Make a perception check for me, please LAURA: Okay, yeah. 22 MATT: 22, that’s great. As you guys step off of the edge of your ship’s wreckage, and all slowly sink down to find the floor of the ocean once more and the subtle grade that continues downward. As you being to step, following Jester, moving forward, you see another shape begin to approach Jester, you see it first and glance over. It’s another ship TRAVIS: Under the water or on the surface? MATT: No, another ship, sunken, here. You continue on for another 100 or 150 or so feet, and you see the shape off to the right of another shipwreck LAURA: (whispering) It’s a graveyard TRAVIS: We’re definitely in that shit now. The song? Y’all remember the song? SAM and MARISHA: The Diver’s Grave! SAM: Maybe we should go up for supplies MATT: The spell fades, but you still know the general direction of where it was coming from. Up to you if you want to cast it again or continue on based on the memory LAURA: Let’s continue MARISHA: Do I see any sources of light? MATT: Make a perception check LAURA: Can we move stealthily underwater? MATT: You can certainly try. You’re moving half-speed because of the water, and you’re moving at half speed beyond that, moving stealthily. So it’s a very slow journey, but you can do it MARISHA: 11 MATT: Okay. Are you guys moving stealthily or not? MARISHA and LIAM: Yes LAURA: It’ll be a slow journey, but we can try to move MATT: Everyone make a stealth check, and make a stealth check for Yasha as well. You guys are moving at quarter speed, essentially, to move underwater TALIESIN and LAURA: Six SAM and LIAM: 19 MARISHA: 25 TRAVIS: 18. Six LAURA: Oh no, we’re so evil! But the average– MATT: The average is slightly in your favor You’re on the edge there. Continuing forward, it evens out a bit, this gradual, caldera-type valley that rests here before you. The more you begin to
watch, now that you’re keeping an eye for it, there’s a number of areas where wreckage can be seen, some of it very old. The third ship that you pass by, heading in the direction that you recall, has been down here for decades MARISHA: Why here though? Why all these shipwrecks here? Especially if Sabian planted a bomb on your ship, that’s not because of natural causes; is there something about this area that freaks people out or something? TRAVIS: I mean, it’s always rough waters and the storms are frequent. You normally make it through with good prep, but I didn’t know it was like this MARISHA: Do we feel anything? Does it feel weird, like any type of, I don’t know, energy? Something? Caduceus, I look at Caduceus MATT: Make a general wisdom check TRAVIS: Her? MATT: Yeah, since she’s attempting to get in tune with the energy of the atmosphere MARISHA: The roll reflects the vaguety of my question. Vaguety. With a big old seven MATT: You concentrate for a moment, and the water gets slightly warmer LAURA: Ooh, I feel better MARISHA: Ugh! MATT: You decide to maybe not walk directly behind Jester TRAVIS: It’s all sterile, it’s fine MATT: With the little bit of travel you’re doing– they’re sparse, but there are a number of ships in this large area that seem to have sunken at different times throughout the years MARISHA: I didn’t see any source of light? MATT: No source of light, no. Jester, however, who’s been at the front keeping a close eye– a little ways in as you’re peering out and clocking in each of these shipwrecks as they come across, you see this little, faint blip of light LAURA: Is it moving or is it a blip or a what? MATT: You see it once or twice again. It’s a little momentary shine LAURA: There’s like, a light. Yeah SAM: Over at the Frankenstein house? TALIESIN: I was waiting for it LAURA: I mean, it’s in front of us, yeah? About how far away is it? MATT: At this point of travel, it’s about 350, 400 feet ahead of you LAURA: Is it around where the orb feels like it is? MATT: The general direction TRAVIS: We need to take a short rest TALIESIN: I mean, I don’t think that’s– LAURA: I won’t get any use out of it LIAM: I would LAURA: 30 minutes; we want to sit here in the open, in the graveyard for an hour? TRAVIS: We keep going, but I think we remember from the song that that could be the lantern light, right? TALIESIN: Regardless, I’m blind regardless TRAVIS: Maybe we should fan out a bit LIAM: Maybe bioluminescent, just like an underwater creature TRAVIS: Yeah, like a firing line SAM: Should I go up and prep the boat? TRAVIS: No, Nott, I need you here. Maybe give ourselves ten feet of distance between each other and fan out LAURA: Just think about how much damage you did when you were barely even trying SAM: It’s all over me! TALIESIN: I can’t see so I’ll stick with somebody LAURA: You can stick with me TRAVIS: No, the clerics are not sticking together LAURA: What? TRAVIS: The clerics do not stay together anymore SAM: Yasha and Beau stay together, the clerics stay together MARISHA: Birds of a feather TALIESIN: I’ll stick with Yasha LIAM: I’ll be with Nott TRAVIS: We’ll fan out in a wide line as we approach instead of as a group MATT: All right. If I could get a marching order, please LAURA: Oh, this is like when we first started and we were in a line. You guys remember, and we were looking for that witch? MARISHA: Yeah. Now we’re doing it again MATT: Who’s together and what? TRAVIS: Am I with you, Jester? LAURA: Sure TALIESIN: Yasha and Clay, and everyone else is singling or–? LIAM: Caleb and Nott are together LAURA: Then Beau, Jester and Fjord in the middle-ish LIAM: It is like the beginning of the campaign LAURA: Yeah SAM: And it will be the end (laughter) MATT: What a nice book end! You all begin to slowly move forward, keeping your eyes peeled for any sort of movement with no light. It is extremely dark here with that faint little bit of shimmering dull green from above LAURA: I should be on the other side of Fjord, so I’m closer to Caleb MATT: There you go. As you guys continue to move in that direction, some of you begin to see this
light as well. Caduceus first, then you, Caleb, and Beau. You see it looks like– imagine if beams of sunlight managed to roll across a piece of polished metal, a little shining, shifting sight TRAVIS: If she’s a big-ass anglerfish I’m going to be so pissed MARISHA: Yeah, nope! I don’t want to be eaten. Oh, god LAURA: That’s definitely a glimmer pot MARISHA: Glimmer pot? SAM: It was in the song MARISHA: Oh. Yeah, because it talks about enticing people with their lantern light– treasure Treasure in their eyes LAURA: Are we going to just walk straight towards it then or maybe–? MARISHA: Well, she has the eye TALIESIN: I think the notion is that you’re not supposed to look directly in it, some sort of thing maybe LAURA: Oh. Don’t look at the light? TALIESIN: Don’t look at whatever the eye or light or thing– I don’t know TRAVIS: Hey. One of us has a familiar that can look for us, right? LAURA: Good call LIAM: Yeah LAURA: Caleb, send Frumpkin up and see what the lantern light is LIAM: Okay, so I can do that. I will send Frumpkin low along the bottom in the direction of this thing, stealthily MATT: Are you guys staying put or are you continuing to move forward slowly? LIAM: Ooh, let’s take a looky-loo for the moment MATT: You all sit tight for a second, halting your position. You watch as the octopus makes its way into the shadow ahead. Caleb, you’re focusing, and it takes a while, but Frumpkin eventually, following this tiny, shifting bead of golden light into view. You begin to see towards the center of where this large valley is. There is a large cluster of long dead, pale-white coral that surrounds a rocky stone shelf MARISHA: Too real TRAVIS: Fucking awesome MATT: Make a perception check for Frumpkin LAURA: Bones! MATT: Okay. You see this coral space around. It’s massive; it’s maybe 250, 300 feet across, and it’s this dead chunk of coral reef in this vicinity that amassed around this central stone that rises up. There’s a small crevasse on the side of it that goes down about 30 or so feet and you can see fish weaving through LIAM: But I did see where this flashing source was? MATT: Yeah, but it’s occasional LIAM: Occasional, okay. So it’s not like there was a creature that Frumpkin and I were able to aim towards, it was just this thing that was appearing and disappearing? MATT: Yeah, and maybe every now and then reorient the direction that Frumpkin was traveling. As you come to see this space, does Frumpkin continue to get closer? LIAM: Yeah MATT: Okay. Frumpkin moves around and it takes a while because Frumpkin isn’t very good at perceiving right now TALIESIN: Thunk MATT: You guys are getting a little impatient here, hearing– TRAVIS: We’re 300 feet away, right? MATT: Yeah TRAVIS: Can we get within 100 feet? MATT: If you want to TRAVIS: Yeah LAURA: Keep moving forward slowly. Nott? I’ll hold Caleb’s hand on the other side MATT: You all continue to move forward TRAVIS: Cautiously LIAM: So we’re connecting those two groups? LAURA: Whatever LIAM: We’re spread out a little LAURA: We’re spread out MATT: Frumpkin is going around and checking and finds that towards the front of this coral reef area where this rock shelf is, there appears to be an open cavern entrance right underneath this shelf. As Frumpkin ducks down and looks, you can see another one of the shine; there’s a few of them TRAVIS: Oh, fuck LIAM: Frumpkin will piss out some ink and use a bonus action to dash back towards the group MATT: Frumpkin quickly retracts and finds his way to the rest of you LAURA: What did you see? LIAM: I tell him to come back and come out and say: There’s a lot of things just ahead of us over the ridge MARISHA: What do you mean, things? LIAM: Flashing, moving things, things that are alive MARISHA: Oh LIAM: More than one, I think TRAVIS: Mm-hmm MARISHA: More than one? LIAM: I think so MARISHA: That’s still in the direction of the orb? LIAM: Or something large with many parts, but I could not tell too well LAURA: What was the glimmer? LIAM: I could not tell you LAURA: He didn’t see a lot, did he? LIAM: No, it’s murky down here
TRAVIS: Who wants to take a look? SAM: Why don’t you–? LAURA: Let’s all just run forward and charge over the ridge SAM: How about this? Here’s an idea. Go back to the merrow that we killed, get one of their tridents or whatever, Disguise Self like you’re one of them, and then you can just swim in like you’re a bad fish TALIESIN: Yeah, I don’t think that’s a– LAURA: Is it going to work? TALIESIN: No MARISHA: How do you know that the merrow are friends with these people? SAM: They’re not people MARISHA: Well, this group of angry things that might want to kill us TALIESIN: I think they’re going to be nervous that Fjord doesn’t speak the language and is moving at half– plus he swims funny LIAM: I am reaffixing Frumpkin to my face MARISHA: He actually swims really well TALIESIN: Not for a fish person, though TRAVIS: Let’s keep moving in, yes? There’s nothing gained by staying up here LAURA: Let’s keep on going LIAM: But maybe– MARISHA: Someone say it TRAVIS: As we approach this area that he’s described to us, this white coral, you said it was in a valley, like a dip? MATT: Yep TRAVIS: At the top of where the valley is, is there any cover that we might be able to get up behind and then peek down into said valley, like boulders? MATT: As you’re moving through this area, there are clumps of seaweed that rise up hundreds of feet out of view. The base of it is pretty thick and you could try and move through that. That’s what you are using to stealth as you come through, darting from section to section of this heavy underwater vegetation LAURA: Can we cut some of the seaweed and hold it in front of us so that when we move it just looks like seaweed? MATT: Sure MARISHA: Kind of into it, actually MATT, TRAVIS and LAURA: Yeah MARISHA: I’ll jump on that train, yeah MATT: That’s going to itch like a motherfucker in the morning MARISHA: That’s okay. We’re at the bottom of the ocean. A lot’s going to itch MATT: You slowly farm sections of seaweed and begin to shift your way forward, using it as a screen. The shifting tendrils slowly shimmy along in the direction of this coral cluster MARISHA: Can we ribbon dance a little bit as we go? MATT: There you go LIAM: Just you two, right? Is this the group? LAURA: No, all of us are doing it. Whoever wants to be stealthy and be a brilliant person, I guess MARISHA: I just wrap some seaweed around Caleb LIAM: Okay MATT: Who’s at the front of this journey? Maintaining a similar position? TRAVIS: I will be MATT: Okay. Perception check, and one other person if they wish to TALIESIN: I don’t have– TRAVIS: Oh yeah, he doesn’t have darkvision LAURA: I mean, I can try– MARISHA: Sure LAURA: Okay MARISHA: Oh, go. Yeah, you’re leading the pack MATT: Both of you guys roll perception LAURA and TRAVIS: 17 MATT: Okay TALIESIN: There you go MATT: As you both come up to the edge of where the sandbank here seems to slightly descend in a series of soft steps before that small ravine carves down and that large chunk of rock stands there, you can see the cavern. You see once again that shifting. It’s like a wave of light passes over. You can see it’s coins. A bunch of light passes over coins that are scattered amongst the floor of the entrance of this tunnel TRAVIS: Oh, there’s an entrance to the tunnel, okay LAURA: Can we see what made the light? MATT: Not from this distance SAM: Coins MARISHA: This is it LIAM: So the ground is littered with coins outside of this? MATT: You saw at the entrance a handful of coins that caught the light, yeah SAM: Is Buttonbeard is real? TRAVIS: Nott, did you think I was lying? SAM: I thought it was just a legend TRAVIS: I’m hurt. Our friendship has taken damage from this exchange SAM: He’s real? TRAVIS: Like Santa Claus, you might have to go up and check for yourself. Tug on the beard, see if– MARISHA and TALIESIN: This is a terrible idea TRAVIS: But do it by yourself MARISHA: This is literally exactly– LAURA: Don’t do that SAM: I could go LAURA: She’s drunk, don’t tell her to do stupid things SAM: I could go over and just take a look MARISHA: Nope. That’s how people die TRAVIS: How much do you love buttons? MARISHA: Fjord. Remember when I said I would check you when you’re being a dick? SAM: No TRAVIS: Yeah, no, I do. Yeah. All right. Fine. We do it together MARISHA: Okay. I don’t think we should go in this way TALIESIN: I don’t think we should go in this way either TRAVIS: I’m open to suggestions MARISHA: It literally says, “Treasure is in their eyes. They swim for treasure in the lantern “light.” This is a pot. This is a honeypot for sure LAURA: Can we swim around and look for another entrance to this cavern? TRAVIS: Don’t one of y’all have a copy of yourselves that you could send in a certain distance? LAURA: I mean I can only get it 120 feet away from me LIAM: It will also put it at alert even before we get there. You send it in and it sees this other Jester and then it is ready for a fight SAM: I could send an image of a fish or something in there and see what happens, or some other type
of creature TRAVIS: I mean, if it’s a trap that can be sprung by something going in, maybe fish or maybe a humanoid, that would probably be good LAURA: No, we don’t want it to know we’re here TRAVIS: Well, they’re going to know really quick, right? We’re not going to make it in silently, right? I mean, this is clearly a honeypot, it’s a trap. Might as well spring the trap LIAM: Well– MARISHA: I mean, we could send in an image of a fish and see, but an image of a fish– it’s not movement of water, it’s not the same LIAM: We’re on this ridge MATT: You’re maybe about, since you stopped at that edge before it begins to descend over, you’re about 60 or so feet from this LIAM: What do we see to the sides and– so there’s a cavern straight ahead facing towards us? MATT: Yeah. Ahead and facing towards you guys with a large shelf that protrudes over it that puts it mostly in shadow, and the coral’s built all around that. If you wanted to try and move around it you could, but it’s about 200 or so feet across LIAM: That is my point. I think we quietly go around and get on top of the house and throw whatever the bait is in front and then we’re back here for whatever comes out SAM: He’s very smart TALIESIN: I think that’s a very reasonable plan TRAVIS: I agree. Let’s do that LAURA: Then I can send Jester down there TRAVIS: Mm-hmm, let’s do it LAURA: Okay TRAVIS: Make it so MATT: You guys swim across towards the top? All right. You paddle up as a group, up– TRAVIS and LAURA: Around MATT: Oh, around? MARISHA: Around, not over top LIAM: Take our time MATT: You guys move slowly around, still moving stealthily, to the edges. Then you move up and over? What are you doing? SAM: Yes MATT: Okay TRAVIS: Around the sides of the map instead of just across LIAM: Sitting on top of it MATT: You get up and slowly descend towards where the coral is. Your feet find the edges. Some of it is brittle and as your foot touches, it snaps and parts of it crumble at the very edges, but nothing that you feel will alert your presence necessarily TRAVIS: Conserve the reef you guys, be responsible divers MARISHA: It’s so sad. Don’t drop anchors. Anyway, continue MATT: As you move up to the edge of the shelf, and you glance over the edge, you see the shadow entrance of the cavern before you. Once again that shimmer finds its way across a dozen or more coins that are visible, partially embedded in the muck and sand there at the foot of this cavern entrance LAURA: Should I try to send my duplicate down? TALIESIN: One question. This is definitely coral that we are sitting on top of, right? MATT: It’s bits of coral. When you step out towards that shelf, the coral recedes and now it’s a protruding large slab of stone TALIESIN: It is a protruding large slab of stone and not a big-ass mouth or anything like that, right? MATT: Make a perception check TRAVIS: Oh, come on MARISHA: It’s always a big-ass mouth TALIESIN: I’m looking at it. (raspberry) 11 LIAM: You just turned 12 years old TALIESIN: It’s been a day MATT: It looks to be stone TALIESIN: (exaggerated sighing) I’m putting tinfoil on my windows now, I’m fucking done LIAM: Yes, DM TALIESIN: Yes, DM. I think we send Jester LAURA: Okay. I’m going to create my duplicate MATT: Okay. So you use Channel Divinity once and you send your duplicate to swim down– LAURA: I’m going to swim down and I’m going to have her skip around and see the coins and be like– and go over and act like she’s going to try to get the coins MATT: Okay. You watch as the illusory Jester goes and performs a great stock video of excited lucky person, performing the reaction silently TRAVIS: Can it please be the infomercials where she has trouble collecting the coins? MATT: Have you ever–? MARISHA: Oh no! MATT: Don’t you hate it when–? TRAVIS: I can’t hold shit MATT: 30 seconds pass of Jester doing the song and dance down there. No reaction LAURA: Shit. It might need actual vibrations or– TRAVIS: No, there’s nothing down there. I’ll jump down there and join Jester MATT: Okay. Fjord dives off the side and swims down towards the entrance to this cavern. As you approach you can see the coins plainly in front of you. Do you land at the entrance? TRAVIS: Mm-hmm MATT: Okay. Your feet find soft footfall on the sediment that has gathered there, knocking up a little bit of it for a minute before it all eventually settles once more. Looking inside, make a perception check TRAVIS: Really good on these today. Three MATT: Okay LIAM: Shitty rolls at this table MATT: You glance inside; there’s no source of the light that you keep seeing flashing by. You look
down and there’s no glittering anymore. There’s no traveling light beam, but the coins are there in front of you. Looking up into the cavern, it continues in and seems to descend and open up into a chamber just where your darkvision ends TRAVIS: Looks fine MATT: The inside is filled with seaweed as well It seems to be running up the walls of the interior, as well as a section of it sitting in the center of the main chamber. It’s a different color than the seaweed that you’ve been using to get here TRAVIS: I’ll look up where everybody is and I’m like– TALIESIN: I think maybe we just don’t take the coins, maybe MARISHA: Yeah, maybe no one touches the treasure SAM: (distressed noises) LAURA: Nott, don’t. I’m going to hold onto Nott as we jump down MARISHA: Buttonbeard knows who touches his treasure and who doesn’t SAM: Is that part of the legend? LAURA: Yeah. There’s more treasure inside if you make it past the initial treasure SAM: I believe you TRAVIS: I’m already down here, so I’ll summon the falchion MATT: With a slight displacement and popping sound of the water making room for the falchion as it emerges, it hums slightly in your grasp, being this deep in the ocean TRAVIS: I’ll hold it up. Is the eye doing anything other than casting that glowing light? MATT: No, but it is casting it and it is very present. There is a faint hint of eagerness brimming from within you TRAVIS: Y’all do something before I get reckless MARISHA: Let’s go LAURA: We’re heading down MARiSHA: I’m going to swim and try not to touch the ocean floor MATT: Okay, so you stay up above. All of you make your way towards the entrance to this cavern LAURA: I’m going to send the duplicate out in front of us; I’ve still got 30 seconds left of it LIAM: I’m going to keep an eye on our rear TALIESIN: The minute I hear things start, I’m going to cast some light on the walls so I can see shit MATT: All right, that will be Caleb at the back, Jester and Fjord towards the front, everyone else staying in the center SAM: Jester said she was holding me LAURA: I am holding MATT: That’s right, so you will be up with Jester As you guys slowly begin to make your way into the tunnel– LAURA: I let go of Nott as soon as we’re into the tunnel, away from the coins MATT: As you release Nott into the water, you guys begin to take your first steps into the interior of the cavern. We’re going to take a break TRAVIS: I knew it was coming, it just– MARISHA: I know TRAVIS: My back’s sweating! MATT: We’ll be back here in a minute to see what this strange chamber seems to hold MARISHA: I need to re-listen to the tale of Dashilla. I need to go find that awesome ukulele version those girls did TRAVIS: The light stopped doing this across the gold, right? MATT: Yes, once you stood there, the gold was seemingly inert TRAVIS: Okay MATT: We’ll be back here in a few minutes. Before we hop over, we do have the giveaway. Our fine friends at Wyrmwood are giving away this amazing wenge dice vault. “Wenj”? How do you pronounce it? MARISHA: “When-gay.” MATT: “When-gay,” thank you. I always mess that up, I don’t know MARISHA: We had this discussion today MATT: This is awesome, two-tone on each side, dice vault for giveaway. It is the wenge dice vault with tiger maple inlay, which is what this is called– looks awesome– and a copy of your own Pumat t-shirt is in the giveaway as well! TRAVIS: The one that you wore, Matt? MATT: I hope not, you don’t want that. You really don’t want that. This will be given away to somebody at the end of the break. To enter, go ahead and head over to the Critical Role Twitch chat at twitch.tv/criticalrole during the break and enter the word intro. I-N-T-R-O. Enter it once; more than that, you’ll be disqualified, unfortunately, and once again this is only viable for people in the U.S. and Canada, excluding Quebec MARISHA: Sorry, Quebec MATT: I know. We’ll have a winner here in a few minutes, so sit tight, we’ll see you soon MATT: Well played, and welcome back everybody! Before we get started, the winner of our fantastic giveaway with the Pumat shirt and this awesome dice vault from our friends at Wyrmwood is QuickAscension. QuickAscension, congratulations; we’ll get this out to you ASAP SAM: QuickAscension! MATT: QuickAscen– no SAM: We play D&D TRAVIS and SAM: We play Dungeons & Dragons! LIAM: That’s all the show is now. That’s the rest of the campaign MATT: That will break me. As we left off, you all were beginning to make your way into this series of– there’s this whole strange entrance to this cavern
TRAVIS: It’s just a cave, you guys MATT: As you step in the inside, it descends a bit, like makeshift natural paths, like stairs or grades that curve around and drop into the central chamber where you see it goes in two different directions, to the right and left. In the middle, there’s a large cluster of this purplish-maroon seaweed. The outside of the leaves have a teal-ish blue color. It wraps up against the walls as well. As you swim through and move, the still water shifts with your movement; you can see some of it sway and move with your movement TRAVIS: Oh fucking Jesus, our stealth is going to be balls here. What does the floor look like? Sand, silt, coins? MATT: Looking down, make an investigation check TRAVIS: Can’t you just tell me? MARISHA: Jesus, Travis! TRAVIS: Yeah, nine LIAM: The hell is wrong with us tonight? MARISHA: What’s wrong with you? TRAVIS: I used it up last week! MATT: Apparently. Well, if there was a week to use it TRAVIS: That’s true MATT: You sift your hand through underneath and feel. You find an errant copper piece left there that comes up into your fingers. The rest of it appears to be general sand and soft silt that clouds a bit around your fingers as you pull your hand up from mucking around in it. It settles fairly quickly TRAVIS: Do you want to keep your duplicate in front of us, or is it gone? LAURA: It only lasts for a minute, but yes, I can keep her there as long as she lasts MATT: Right about now, she vanishes LAURA: She’s gone TALIESIN: We’re in the room? MATT: Yes TALIESIN: I may be blind, other than what I can see, but if I hit Detect Magic, something’s going to light up in my– MATT: It’s certainly possible TALIESIN: All right. I’m just saying, if there was something, I feel like I would know that SAM: I could make an image of something ahead of us TALIESIN: I’m going to cast Detect Magic? Why’d I put a question mark at the end of that? MARISHA: Detect Magic? TALIESIN: I’m going to cast Detect Magic really quickly MATT: Okay. Nothing ahead of you seems to give a magical aura; behind you, ever so faintly TALIESIN: The magical aura’s coming from the mouth of the cave? MATT: It’s coming from the mouth of the cave, towards the top TRAVIS: Towards the top? TALIESIN: Oh! It’s where the light’s being projected from, I imagine. But nothing in the room? MATT: Nothing in the room– and you do know, glancing at that magical aura coming from the entranceway, it is illusory in nature TALIESIN: I would also be able to sense something magic through it that’s buried up to three feet down MATT: Correct TALIESIN: Okay. I’m not getting any other pings in here? MATT: Nope TALIESIN: Just that weird thing up front, nothing else SAM: I will cast Silent Image and project a small dwarf man, about 60 feet in front of us, with a beard made out of buttons and a pirate hat cocked to one side, and he’s walking all prim and proper, like he owns the place. He’s got a patch on his eye that’s made out of a button! (laughter) MATT: Old Buttonbeard’s legend lives on! As Buttonbeard trounces around the central chamber, no reaction TALIESIN: I’m going to ask the kelp: Hey guys, this feels a little ominous. You’d let me know if there was something untoward happening around here, right? Right? MATT: You express your interests to the kelp Well, seaweed, technically. Kelp is a little more shallow-based, yeah TALIESIN: Thank you, that is fair LIAM: What on earth are we doing? TRAVIS: Just hold on, octopus-head MARISHA: Apparently, kelp is shallow SAM: You’re wearing an octopus, he’s talking to seaweed, there’s a Buttonbeard in front of us This is totally normal LIAM: Mine is functional! MARISHA: (sings circus tune) MATT: You’re all still standing in the entranceway as you come down into this central chamber. It’s about 35, 40 feet from side to side and then it branches off to the right and left ahead of you– LAURA: Which way are we going? MATT: There is that central cluster of seaweed that is coming up and going against the ceiling and you can see on the walls, it’s still riding along the edges
TRAVIS: We’re going to the right SAM and LAURA: Okay TALIESIN: I’m proud of you for that. Hopefully that’ll be the first good roll you’ve made tonight TRAVIS: Did you hear anything from your talk? TALIESIN: To be fair, they don’t really talk back, but sometimes they can acknowledge these things Besides, it’s polite TRAVIS: Can we move towards the fork? MATT: You move towards the fork. The chamber itself is oval-like, but in the center of the chamber is where there’s a mass of the seaweed, so you’d have to curve around it to get to either exit LAURA: Are there any pebbles on the ground or anything? MATT: There are some wayward stones that you could probably– TRAVIS: This seaweed in the middle of the chamber, have we seen anything like this before? MATT: No, all the seaweed in this chamber is a different color than what you’ve seen when you came in. Everything else had a greenish-blue tint to it, this has a deep maroon-purple with a blue outline across the exterior of each little thread of leaf TRAVIS: What was the color of the fruit in the fucking temple? Weren’t they like–? MARISHA: I think so LAURA: I think they were yellow. I pictured them like mangoes MATT: Yeah, they were mango-esque LAURA: They were mango-esque TRAVIS: But the inside was purplish and red, right? Well, because it was obviously being fed blood LAURA: It was, it was bloody TRAVIS: Sorry, trying to make a connection where there might not be one MARISHA: No, I was with you TRAVIS: Yeah, no deal, okay LAURA: Can I toss one of the pebbles at a cluster of–? MATT: It hits it, moves with the impact with the faint bit that gets hit. There’s no reaction TRAVIS: Did we want to separate and go around and meet on the other side? LAURA: What if there’s something in the middle of the cluster? Can we use a stick or something? You want to use your staff and push the cluster? TALIESIN: I literally can’t see anything right now LAURA: Oh, there’s a cluster of kelp in the middle of the room here TALIESIN: Things tend to live TRAVIS: Anybody have any objections to going to the right? SAM: No, let’s just do it TRAVIS: Let’s do it SAM: Fuck it, right? We’re all going to die down here anyway, it doesn’t matter LAURA: Don’t you think there might be something in the middle of all the kelp though? TRAVIS: There might be, but we’ll keep an eye on it as we move around to the right; I just have a very strong feeling about going to the right. It’s based off of, really, gut– I’m right handed, so we’re going to go to the right SAM: Let’s do it MARISHA: All right LAURA: Do we see bubbles in the water at all? MATT: Make a perception check LAURA: Ten. No! That’s a nine, so that is a 13 MATT: Oh, just you, okay TALIESIN: I would ask permission before putting a light in the kelp to see if there’s anything in there MATT: No bubbles. There’s no aeration of the interior here TRAVIS: Can we see a top to this chamber? MATT: Glancing up, yeah, you can see where the seaweed gathers and bunches up towards meeting it from the walls in the center of the chamber. It’s maybe 15 feet above you. It’s not terribly tall TALIESIN: When was the– yeah, all right TRAVIS: Okay, can we start moving to the right? Will we be able to see a clear divide between the two left and right passages? MATT: You can see the two sides, yeah TRAVIS: It’s a divide that goes from ceiling to floor, right? It’s not some fucking uvula that’s hanging right there, waiting to dangle? MATT: It looks like it’s a cavern TRAVIS: Okay. You know what I’m saying? MARISHA: Yeah, I’m with you LIAM: I am not. What are we doing? SAM: We’re going to the right LIAM: Let’s go to the right, then TRAVIS: Hey Nott, stab the floor really fast SAM: What? TRAVIS: Stab the floor with your dagger SAM: Shortsword MATT: Okay. It goes a few inches into the soft floor of the chamber before it hits stone SAM: It’s been pacified TRAVIS: Thank you. We’ll continue to the right MATT: Okay. You take your first step and you watch something drift across the entrance from wall to wall. Some faint glowing figure– and is gone TRAVIS: (yelling) I don’t like it! MARISHA: Shut up! Oh TRAVIS: It’s in my head! MARISHA: Oh, okay TALIESIN: Did it trip my Detect Magic sense at all? MATT: Not magic sense, no LAURA: Is it undead, or is it a ghost? MARISHA: (whispering) It’s Dashilla! TALIESIN: I’m going to do another detect undead really quickly MATT: Okay. Give me the specifications on that one TALIESIN: All right. Eyes of The Grave. As an action you know the location of any undead within 60 feet of you that isn’t behind total cover and isn’t protected from divination magic until the end of your next turn MATT: Okay, got you. How long does it last?
TALIESIN: Six seconds MATT: Okay. We’ll say for the purposes of this, this is a reaction to seeing this figure pass by You definitely get an undead sense from whatever this figure is, and then it merges with the wall and is gone. It appeared to be loosely humanoid in the brief glimpse you saw TALIESIN: We have undead TRAVIS: No SAM: It’s a ghost ship! MARISHA: Is it going to be your crew? TRAVIS: I don’t know! MARISHA: Wait, we’re not on your ship anymore TRAVIS: Now we’re in the mouth of a beast! Ducey, what’s going on, brother? TALIESIN: I don’t know, I’m literally blind. I want to light this– SAM: Are you feeling scared down here now all of a sudden? TALIESIN: Just to start, I’m going to throw some light into the center of the kelp MATT: Okay. In the center of the kelp forest that sits in the center of the chamber, a source of light begins to emanate, like a lantern covered in soft, diffusing material. The beams protrude and lighten up the chamber like a lantern. As it goes through, you have a better view of the interior You notice that the kelp forest is cluttered with strips of cloth, bones, two or three merrow corpses that have long decomposed and look tangled and wrapped and are held towards the ceiling There are a handful of what might have been human remains tangled in that same seaweed MARISHA: Okay TALIESIN: I think this thing is carnivorous MARISHA: The seaweed? TALIESIN: Yep TRAVIS: I’d say burn it down, but, you know (singing) under the sea MARISHA: (singing) Doo doo, ba doo SAM: Should we leave? TALIESIN: I think we should leave TRAVIS: You know what, who really needs the sphere? Should we just go back to the boat? No? I didn’t mean it either. All right, we move forward MARISHA: I don’t think anyone should touch the seaweed TALIESIN: Yeah, lights off LAURA: Wait, lights off?! Why lights off?! MATT: The light vanishes once more and darkness comes to the chamber TRAVIS: That shit’s going to reach out. I don’t know how to stop it MATT: Do you guys continue to the right chamber? SAM: Sure LIAM: Yes, please LAURA: I’m holding my hands up like this in case anything reaches for me. And my axe in my hand, too TALIESIN: I’ve still got a few minutes of Detect Magic, so if anything– MATT: Understood. Fjord? You just have this gentle chill on the back of your head, like something frozen just caressed the back of your skull and is gone SAM: Gentle chill, like a Jack Johnson song TRAVIS: Don’t do this to me! Everyone else at this table is less susceptible to shit like that! Don’t do it to me, okay! I don’t need this right now! Cool, no problem LAURA: Just don’t make it like Ring girl, okay? Or like The Grudge TRAVIS: Oh, stop, why would you want to put it out there?! LIAM: Or do TRAVIS: (shushing) MATT: You continue forward through this tunnel around the seaweed cluster in the center. Moving through in the same order that you situated there There’s just enough room, maybe ten feet across, to stay comfortably, you’d want to single-file it As you walk through, the edges of the seaweed begin to drift forward, seemingly drawn in by the warmth of your bodies MARISHA: What? LIAM: Wait, it’s drawing towards us, or it’s pulling in? MATT: It’s pulling in. There’s the central section and the wall. As you begin to move through, it begins to slowly pull in to close in towards you LAURA: Can we freeze it? Can we cast cold on it or something? MARISHA: Can we move fast? MATT: Moving quickly through, it’s not moving rapidly. As soon as you see this, you begin to dart through. The only person who would be in danger is the very end. Caleb, since you’re at the back, I need you to make a dexterity saving throw for me. Because as all of you start darting through and making your way, they’re drifting and tangling in closer together LIAM: Oh jeez, it jumped up. Well that’s a six Seven MATT: Okay. As you move forward, you feel a bit of it touch your shoulder, and then it wraps around
and pulls you against the wall. You guys hear this (slamming) behind. There’s a shift of water. You watch Caleb get yanked towards the right side of the chamber. It’s currently (sucking). The seaweed begins to snake its way around. Caleb, you take five points of poison damage and are grappled LIAM: Mm-hmm TRAVIS: Can I send two shots of Eldritch Blast at the stuff around it, the kelp? MATT: Sure, I’ll say two attacks with disadvantage because you’re having to aim them to try to keep around him TALIESIN: I’m going to cast Light really quickly, too MATT: Okay, the light fills the space TRAVIS: First one’s a 19 and not a natural 20, but a 16 MATT: Okay, yeah. Both hit, go ahead and roll damage MARISHA: B-b-blast! TRAVIS: 12 and– MARISHA: Eldritch B-b-blast! TRAVIS: 26 points of damage MATT: Okay, each side– Both blasts of Eldritch Blast impact the sides of the cavern wall with a dull (thud). The clusters of seaweed that currently wrap around Caleb are torn to the point where you have enough strength to pull yourself free, breaking the grapple. You shrug them off of you. As you’re touching with your fingers, your fingers spike with pain. No additional poison damage, necessarily, but you know staying would continue to do so LIAM: I’m poisoned? MATT: You are not poisoned. You just took poison damage. You manage to pull it away and catch up with the rest of the crew. You guys are heading towards the right chamber, which begins to rise up a bit before leveling off about 15 feet above and about 20 feet ahead of you. The walls are still covered in this seaweed in chunks. About every five or so feet, you see another cluster, and they’re a bit scattered around the interior. A large portion of this whole chamber network seems to be housing this same type of plant TRAVIS: We’re going to move fast, and I’m going to keep Eldritch Blast charged, and if anything starts to reach closer than other areas of it MATT: Make a perception check SAM: You’re good at this LAURA: I’m going to keep Sacred Flame prepped as well, to release it then if anything gets attacked MATT: Okay, so you’re readying the spell? LAURA: Yeah. It’s just a cantrip MATT: Yeah, so you’re fine SAM: Six! LAURA: Okay, well, get rid of it then! TRAVIS: I drink out of that MATT: Okay. Jester, you feel this– like a burst of brain freeze for a second– like something cold tickles the inside of your head. And it’s gone LAURA: This is weird SAM: What happened? LAURA: It felt like I drank a Slurpee or something MATT: Caduceus, you see something shadowy shift long down the hall up and above that barely catches your attention before it’s gone TALIESIN: Do I even have to bother, or do I know what that is? MATT: You don’t. It’s not the same as before TALIESIN: It’s something different? MATT: From what you saw before, it was giving a faint, pale glow and had a ghostly presence to it This is just a movement in dark shadow TALIESIN: Oh, then I’m going to do the Eyes of the Grave one more time the minute I see it. There’s something else down here too SAM: Something else? Oh, great LIAM: I’m feeling a little weary. Does anyone want to help me out a little bit? SAM: Oh, are you hurt, Caleb? Caleb’s hurt Someone heal Caleb LAURA: Okay TALIESIN: You’re going to take it? LAURA: Sure LIAM: Yeah, teamwork TRAVIS: Yasha will– TALIESIN: Yasha can–? MATT: Yeah, she has an ability TRAVIS: If you want to save your stuff TALIESIN: Yeah, let’s have Yasha– LAURA: Yeah TRAVIS: Yasha will heal Caleb for seven hit points using Healing Hands SAM: Thanks, Ashley LIAM: What happened just now? TRAVIS: Seven points. Healing LIAM: Okay TALIESIN: Did you take your 17 earlier also? LIAM: No TALIESIN: From Prayer of Healing LIAM: I didn’t know that was for me TALIESIN: That was for everybody LAURA and TALIESIN: Yeah TRAVIS: Did you need the seven? LIAM: Can’t do the math right now MARISHA: No LIAM: Then I’m good MATT: Yeah, so Yasha holds onto that, then TALIESIN: Everyone was LIAM: I thought that was for one person TALIESIN: Did a group thing MATT: All right. So continuing on? TALIESIN: Yeah. There’s something up ahead SAM: I’m going to look for traps MATT: All right. Go ahead and make a perception check to see if you notice anything strange about the interior SAM: 18 and a five MATT: Okay. Looking about the area, it looks like a natural cavern. You don’t see much that would catch– any some sort of dissembled or trap mechanism with a trigger SAM: We’re fine. Come on LIAM: I can light it up in here if we want. Or do we want to? TALIESIN: They know we’re here now
TRAVIS: Light it up LIAM: Ja? TRAVIS: Yes LIAM: All right. I’m going to put the string of globules up the passage TRAVIS: Let’s at least unrestrict Caduceus MATT: Okay. The globules appear like lights coming on segmented down a long hallway. As the final one glows, right behind it, you see the figure of a man looking at you, white and pale, who then steps back into the wall and vanishes LAURA: Oh! This is really terrible! TRAVIS: (stammering) Into the wall? LAURA: He was a ghost! SAM: While we’re looking at that, I’ll take the seaweed that we used as camouflage before. You know the thing where you put an orange on your mouth? I’m going to do that with seaweed MARISHA: Eww SAM: I’m going to look up at Fjord and be like: It’s already got me! Ah! TRAVIS: Nah. No big deal. An improvement (laughter) SAM: I’m hideous. No, he’s right. I’m hideous TRAVIS: Okay. That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard or seen. Did I recognize the face? MATT: No. Because you’re the closest up there, since you’re helming it in with darkvision– Darkvision wouldn’t matter so much in this instance. But the figure you saw looked to be male wearing loose fitting clothing, sunken eyes with no actual eyes inside the sockets, pale with a faint ghostly glow about their visage. A line of rope wrapped around one arm. Multiple loops. It just stared at you before stepping back into the wall and vanishing TRAVIS: God! Stop describing it! (laughter) TRAVIS: We go forward, right? Yeah TALIESIN: Yeah LAURA: Do you really want this? Do you really want this orb though? TRAVIS: It’s still in this direction, right? LAURA: (nervous) I don’t know LIAM: At least so far they are not harassing us TRAVIS: Yeah that’s true. More the plants than anything LAURA: Did he look menacing– the guy? Did he just look like– MATT: No expression. Just blank and cold. Absent of any real emotion before it dissipated TRAVIS: Yes, we’ll keep going forward MATT: Continuing down this path, you climb or swim up the brief 15-foot incline to get to the next tunnel path where the orbs were spread out to continue. You move through and the elements of seaweed that were still in there are shifting from the water displacement ever so slightly. As you move through, same order you guys are going through? SAM: Sure MATT: All right. That being the case, as you push through I need Caleb once again to make a dexterity saving throw LIAM: Expeditious Retreat! As a reaction MATT: Okay. Go for it. I’ll let you do that LIAM: Yep MATT: All right. You cast Expeditious Retreat. You manage to dart forward and out of the grasping hands of the seaweed through the use of your spell. You catch up, now darting forward through everybody next to Jester and Fjord MARISHA: Yeah, you want to be in the middle LIAM: Whatever I’ve got ten minutes of zip, baby! Let’s go forward MATT: Okay. There. We are moving forward in that TALIESIN: Just for fun, I’m going to tap Resistance on you. Well I’m just going to give you– if anything happens in the next minute you can add a d4 to any saving throw MATT: Okay. Following the tunnel down for another 15 to 20 or so feet it curves around to the left Do you continue and curve around the edge? TRAVIS: Mm-hmm MATT: You come around the corner and look. You guys are at the front. I need Jester and Fjord to make– since you have the globes, you can move the globes ahead if you want to LIAM: I’ll say that they’re 20 feet ahead of us and 20 feet behind MATT: So you do not have disadvantage on your perception checks LAURA: 23 TRAVIS: Six TALIESIN: I’m going to take a perception check, then MARISHA: It’s the same thing you rolled last time TRAVIS: I don’t understand MATT: Well, you’re further back. We’ll get to you Because they’re the ones at the front, they get to do this first TALIESIN: That’s fair MATT: But you’re safer in the middle. What did you get? LAURA: 23 MATT: As you turn around the corner and look, the path continues for another 20 or so feet in this tunnel before it descends into a much larger chamber. The seaweed gets thicker towards the
mouth of this chamber. From the little bit of glowing orbs that begin to extend over that edge that goes into it, what little bit of light hits bits of gold coins scattered all throughout the floor of that next chamber MARISHA: Don’t touch them TRAVIS: Do we dare steal a glance at the seaweed that’s around? Are there also strips of cloth and bone and body? MATT: Yes, they are, but that center cluster seemed to have quite a few that were in there These in the walls only have a few scattered pieces of parts. No full bodies here in the hallway LAURA: Less people made it this far MATT: Beau, as you’re coming around that corner and people are looking off to the side, you glance over your shoulder and see for a split second an older man with a curled and scraggly beard that goes down to about mid-chest. The eyes are missing. You see vacant, dark sockets. The jaw is slack-jawed and open as it looks towards you. I need you to make a charisma saving throw, please MARISHA: Oh fuck. Not what I’m great at. Don’t fuck me, Gil. 12. Not good MATT: It leans in towards you and– not yet. It leans in towards you and you feel this cold sensation over your whole body. Your muscles lock in place and your consciousness goes dark. Out of the corner of your eye you see some sort of ghostly movement. You look over and see Beau rest into a standing position on her back foot TALIESIN: Okay. I’m going to Turn Undead really quickly, and then I’m going to go over and deal with you MATT: What’s the DC on that? TALIESIN: The DC on Turn Undead is– let me hit my– TRAVIS: As she’s resting on her back foot, her eyes are open? MATT: Eyes are open, yeah TALIESIN: That’s a wisdom saving throw? It’s right here so it’s– why is it not saying these things? LAURA: I don’t know. Why doesn’t yours have it? TALIESIN: Mine’s weird. Wisdom saving throw. Oh, so is that my– MATT: Whatever your spell DC is TALIESIN: Oh. 16 MATT: 16. No, fails by one. It’s a 14 plus one, 15 TALIESIN: Fuck off, ghost MATT: Being a specialist in undead and already preparing for the presence here, you glance out of the corner of your eye just in time to see the essence of this spiritual form drift into Beau’s body. As you watch that moment of consciousness fade from her face, as the presence of Beau goes cold and whatever was in this tunnel begins to come to the forefront, you take your staff and slam it into the ground. This wave of light energy emerges. It impacts all of you and the water gets suddenly warm around you. As it blows past Beau, you see strands of hair get blown back and with that, that same ghostly old man body jettisons out the back of her and drags down the hallway into darkness and disappears TALIESIN: Not cool, man. Not cool MARISHA: What just happened? SAM: She’s back? MARISHA: Was I Traci again? LAURA: You had a ghost that just fell out of you Are ghosts going to be trying to take over our minds? MARISHA: Caduceus, did you just do that? TALIESIN: Yeah MARISHA: Thank you TALIESIN: He was creepy, man. Come on LAURA: Have you had ghosts try to take you over before? TALIESIN: Yeah LAURA: Whoa. Has it ever worked? TALIESIN: Not that I know of. I hope. I mean, would you know? MARISHA: I don’t know. Do I know? MATT: You have an essence after what just happened that something weird happened and you lost yourself TRAVIS: I have a feeling that if these dead people invade our bodies, they’re going to walk us into the walls. We should huddle together and keep a hand on each other. If one of us stops moving, stop that person. Okay? We need to move forward quickly TALIESIN: Is it worth cutting through some of this stuff? LAURA: Well, I can use Sacred Flame on the ones in front of us and see if it will make it open in the opening? TALIESIN: I can join you for that TRAVIS: Yeah, if it’s closed our way forward, yes Otherwise, we should move quickly MATT: As you guys are having this conversation, you glance back in the tunnel where you came from where Caduceus had jettisoned that spirit back, and at the very edge of the light, you can see
about 12 or so of these ghostly figures standing there, unmoving– LAURA: Why are they facing us? I hate this, Fjord This is really terrible TALIESIN: Let’s find what we’re looking for and get out of here SAM: Keep going! TRAVIS: With the hustle. I mean, on the hustle. On the quick march MATT: All right. Pushing towards and following the orbs gliding forward, the mouth of this entranceway before it opens up is where it looks like two larger clusters on each side of this seaweed is through. You are what? LAURA: Sacred Flame-ing one of the clusters and he’s going to Sacred Flame the other cluster MATT: They auto-fail saving throws. They’re seaweed (laughter) TALIESIN: Thank you. It’s been a long day MATT: Roll damage. We’ll see if it’s enough to clear the way for a moment. You as well, Caduceus LAURA: Four radiant damage TALIESIN: Damage? LAURA: 2d8 TALIESIN: That’s seven radiant damage MATT: Okay. The side on Caduceus’ edge of the wall, you watch this blast of radiant energy emanate from the side of the wall and blow out the center part. Some of the seaweed get released and begins to scatter and float towards the top. Your side blasts, but it doesn’t quite tear all the way through. You guys begin darting forward on the right side. Caleb, you’re the first one there LIAM: Has it been over ten minutes? MATT: No. You’re still Expeditious Retreat? LIAM: Yeah, it lasts ten minutes MATT: All right. You dart inside the chamber ahead of everybody else. You’re now in the center of this open chamber as you stop with the globes around you to take in the atmosphere. The rest of you are now having to catch up. Yasha needs to make a dexterity saving throw as well SAM: Yasha MATT: She gets advantage because she can see it, because of her Danger Sense TRAVIS: Okay, that’s right. Natural 20 LAURA: Oh, for Yasha MATT: She just– actually no, she shoulder checks the seaweed and does not give a shit MARISHA: It works for Yasha TRAVIS: (as Yasha) No problem MATT: You guys all begin to push forward. This chamber is larger than what you came in through It’s about 50 to 60-foot diameter, continues in for about 80 or so feet, and the height goes to about 30 to 35 feet. All the walls here are covered in this seaweed. Make a perception check, two of you who are helming the view on this LIAM: I’m already in there MATT: That’s true. Yeah, you make one first TALIESIN: Yeah, we’ll take it. 23 LIAM: 15 MATT: Okay. Glancing around, you can see areas where the seaweed is slowly shifting from the movement of Caleb’s Expeditious Retreat. What was once still shifts, and you can see elements of the stone wall behind it. Your eyes barely make out a handful of small carvings in the wall. Small runic letters that are not in line, but at angle sporadically carved at places, but where the seaweed moves over and blocks it TALIESIN: Does my Detect Magic– which I think is just barely still up? I don’t feel like this has been a ten-minute venture since that MATT: Yeah, I’d say you’re pushing the edge on this one TALIESIN: It’s not much longer, I know MATT: I’d say as you step into this chamber– are you heading to the center of it? TALIESIN: No, I’m just coming in and looking around MATT: As you’re standing at the mouth of this, just past the edge, you do not detect anything particularly magical. Then as you take your first step into the chamber, you see this. You almost run into it. In the middle of this chamber, there is a small two-foot pedestal and a disc, a stone disc about that wide and about two feet from edge to edge that is resting on it but at an angle. It looks old. It looks weathered and there appears to be a spiral of runes, two sets of them, that curve inward around each other before merging in the center with one singular sigil where they meet LIAM: Are these arcane glyphs, or is this language? MATT: They are arcane glyphs. If you’d like to make an arcana check, if you want to take a moment to study MARISHA: Is this our answer as to why this entire area eats ships? TRAVIS: Could be LAURA: Is Uk’otoa here? TRAVIS: No. Well– SAM: Yes, sort of MARISHA: It’s a temple?
LIAM: 24 SAM: It’s one of the three gates, right? TRAVIS: Could be. There would need to be a spot for an orb MARISHA: Is this what Vandren was going for? TRAVIS: It’s not what I saw in my dream MATT: These runes, this whole incantation, this enchantment or whatever that sits in this is old, pre-Calamity, Age of Arcana-level magic. It is dormant currently. It looks like there is something that is required to infuse this object with power or to get it to use whatever its enchantment is. The more you look over it, you realize the power’s beyond anything you’ve cast The nature of it seems to be conjuration, and it seems to have a lot of the base runes that you’ve used to manipulate fire, you’ve used to manipulate earth. It’s elemental in nature. You continue to look over it and get the sense that this is triggered by some sort of– there’s a physical material that needs to be brought to this table or brought as part of this ritual, and in doing so would conjure some sort of powerful elemental force LIAM: Did I pick up on the fact that Caduceus was looking at glyphs in the wall? Did I see those as well? MATT: No, you did not LIAM: No? Okay MATT: You do feel this faint, cold, brushing sensation at the back of your skull LAURA: What the fuck is that? TALIESIN: I think it’s maybe time for another detect object. I’ll take this one. I’m going to cast Locate Object MATT: Okay. You cast Locate Object, focusing on? TALIESIN: On the stone MATT: You step forward and can see in the far, back side of the chamber. As you guys get a look around, clustered in with the base of the walls where the seaweed is thick, you begin to see as the light around the chamber comes to touch it, and you see it first, there are piles of salvaged goods: gold and silver dishware. Clusters of coins: gold, platinum, copper, silver, all in various levels of grime that have gathered on them, but the shine still shows through in places You can see tools that were haphazardly pulled and gathered and jammed into pockets in the walls It’s like a nightmarish Ariel’s grotto, almost You immediately realize that this is all things that have been salvaged and pulled from all the ships that have sunk and brought in. The floor you’ve been stepping on, that’s been somewhat soft to the occasional crunch, you glance down and realize, is just bones. Just hundreds of human and humanoid bones that have all been gently dusted with the general sand and silt of the interior of this chamber MARISHA: It feels like everything is being sucked to this location TRAVIS: 30-foot ceiling, right? MATT: There is a throne, a chair of some kind that sits on the opposite side of the room. That’s at a slight angle, resting against the stone, and you immediately know that’s precisely where the object you seek resides, somewhere around or with that TALIESIN: It’s by the chair LAURA: There’s a chair?! TRAVIS: How far away is it? MARISHA: Yeah, what do you mean chair? MATT: You guys are standing towards the entrance, like the stairs and the decline that leads inside Caleb’s the only one that’s actually in the center of the chamber by this table, this thing that you’ve been studying LAURA: Where are the ghosts? They’re just hanging out? MATT: You glance over your shoulder? LAURA: Yeah MATT: About 15 feet behind you (yelling and groaning) MATT: Not moving. Just looking at you LAURA: (distressed yell) TRAVIS: We’re being herded. That’s great LIAM: What you told me was that studying this thing, it seems to require elements to set it in motion? How did you describe it? MATT: As you’re getting closer, because the arcana is not an immediate thing, it’s a slow process of study. There’s a heavy elemental conjuring that this is capable of doing. It’s very old, primal
magic. Looking at the stone, the stains, and the interior of these ruins, there is distinctly a dark brown tint to elements of this table SAM: Some might say amber? MATT: As you scrape some of it with your fingernail, it flakes off. It has a consistency you’re familiar with, that of a coagulated blood SAM: Ooh MATT: Caduceus, as you’re looking over towards the throne, you look up and about ten feet above the throne, standing up in the seaweed holding onto the clusters of it, you see a female humanoid form mostly in shadow, hair down over the front of the face, one yellow eye peeking through on this side, and one half-open yellow eye glancing through, up against the wall TALIESIN: She’s right above the throne MARISHA: The song. Her hungry eye. It’s in her fucking head MATT: You watch as she scrambles across the side of the wall, behind the seaweed, and is gone SAM: She’s gone? LAURA, MARISHA, and TRAVIS: (yelling) No! MATT: Let’s roll initiative (yelling) LIAM: It is The Ring! LAURA: Oh my god! We’re fighting The Grudge. I’ll throw up MARISHA: Natural 20! TALIESIN: 19! Plus one, so that’s 20 LAURA: Woo! I got 20 as well! TALIESIN: Oh fuck LAURA: Just two clerics at 20 SAM: This sucks TRAVIS: Oh shit. What?! LAURA and MARISHA: Whoa! SAM: Two map night! TRAVIS: Oh fuck TALIESIN: Fuck. This is so much worse than I was imagining SAM: Where are we? LIAM: There’s the throne over there MATT: This is the chamber you’re in right now This is the entrance TRAVIS: Hey, look! We picked the right way to go! MATT: Yeah, you did TRAVIS: What was in the other ones? TALIESIN: An encounter MATT: So, Caleb, you are up against here. The rest of you are just coming down the entrance this way Tell me whereabouts you were placed around the base MARISHA: Fuck, that’s tiny LAURA: I feel like I would still be on the stairs because I was looking back at the ghosts MATT: That’s true. I’ll put you and Caduceus kind of up towards the top, there. You guys are back here MARISHA: I’d have been near Fjord, probably MATT: Yeah, so you’ll be up here with the rest of them. The shape you saw up in this direction before it vanished SAM: She’s just a little thing! LIAM: So is Nott the Brave TRAVIS: Why would you even say that to the DM? You know how much shit he has back there? SAM: Yeah, it’s just one person LAURA: Stop it SAM: Didn’t look like she even had any weapons! TRAVIS: Did you ever see Cabin in the Woods? Do you know how bad this is going to get? MATT: Dashilla rolled really good initiative. So, who’s up first? 25 to 20 MARISHA: 24 LAURA: 20 TALIESIN: 20 SAM: Whoa TRAVIS: Beau, Jester, and Cad both have 20s? LAURA: No, Beau had 24 MATT: All right. 20 to 15 TRAVIS: I had a 16 MATT: Fjord at a 16. 15 to ten SAM: 12 MATT: Nott. Ten to five TRAVIS: Yasha had a seven LAURA: Oh god. Caleb MATT: Caleb? LIAM: Four MATT: All righty LIAM: I’m assuming the ten minutes for Expeditious is gone from studying the table? MATT: No, I’d say it took you two or three minutes to study, so Expeditious is still on the table LIAM: A minute or two left. Okay. Great, I’ll take it MATT: Beginning of this round. The only person that’s seen this entity is Caduceus TALIESIN: I can’t see them anymore? MATT: No. They seem to have shifted into this thick forest of seaweed that tends to wrap around all the walls of this chamber. Beau, you’re up first MARISHA: I don’t see anything. I look around? MATT: You can use your action to try and perceive if you want to MARISHA: I go: Caduceus! Then I look around and see if I see anything MATT: Okay, so you use the search action. Roll a perception check
MARISHA: (whispering) God fucking bullshit Eight MATT: Eight? Unfortunately, no. You look around the vicinity and glancing up around, and you see movement from the water that’s being disturbed, but no sight of any particular entity MARISHA: I move towards Caleb and kind of bodyguard him. I am going to take the Patient Defense. Yeah, that works. I’m going to take the Patient Defense MATT: Okay. Bonus action to Patient Defense MARISHA: Action, yep MATT: Okay. That finishes Beau’s turn. Caduceus and Jester, you guys can decide which of you goes first TALIESIN: I was just going to cast Bless. Entirely up to you LAURA: Okay TALIESIN: I’m going to cast Bless on myself– MATT: Is Bless concentration? TALIESIN: Bless is concentration. So, I’m casting Bless on myself, on Caleb, and on Fjord MATT: All right, so you guys get to add a d4 to your attack rolls and saving throws TRAVIS: Holy shit. Okay. (belch) Okay LAURA: I’m going to cast Spiritual Guardians. Oh, sorry TALIESIN: Also, I’m going to back up into the wall so I can keep an eye down that LAURA: Not too close to the wall because of the seaweed TALIESIN: Well, no. See that little thing, that little node behind me? MATT: Right here? TALIESIN: Yeah, so I can’t be attacked from behind, but also I can keep an eye on– MATT: Okay, so you go against the wall? TALIESIN: As long as there’s no seaweed there MATT: There’s seaweed there TALIESIN: Oh, then I’m not going against the wall I’m sorry MATT: All the walls are coated in this TALIESIN: Then I’m going to take a step or two down to scatter us a little bit more MATT: Down this way? TALIESIN: Yeah, I know, it’s a little weird MATT: Okay, I’ll put you there TALIESIN: Thank you. Yeah, anyway, I know MATT: Okay. That finishes your turn, Caduceus That finishes your turn, Jester. Okay, Jester, you’re casting Spiritual Guardians? LAURA: Yes. I’m going to step a couple steps toward Fjord MATT: There alongside him LAURA: Down to the– yeah, okay. Then, yes, I’m going to– MATT: Well, where do you want to go? If you want to move– LAURA: Well, I wanted to not be quite in a line with everybody else. I was going to be on the steps, if that’s possible MATT: Here? Yeah, we’ll make it work. There, sure LAURA: You’ll know I’m there. Yeah, sure. I go like this. They’re the little spiritual unicorns, but they’re seahorses because we’re underwater MARISHA: Cute! MATT: Now all these little glowing pink seahorses now surround you. 15-foot, right? LAURA: Yeah, 15 feet around me MATT: Got it, okay. You have that up. You are also now concentrating on Spiritual Guardians. That finishes Jester’s turn there MARISHA: It’s so cute MATT: That brings us to– what did you guys both roll initiative on? LAURA and TALIESIN: 20 MATT: Okay, so concurrent with your turn, lair action TALIESIN: Fuck SAM and MARISHA: Lair action! MATT: At this point– TRAVIS: Matt, this isn’t a dragon. They don’t get lair actions MATT: You’re in the lair of Dashilla. For this lair action, it’s going to use Lament of the Dead As you all stand here, rising out of the ground, dozens of spirits begin to drift up, of various drowned sailors and scavengers, out of the ground and up toward the ceiling. I need everybody inside to make a wisdom saving throw, please TALIESIN: If you have the d4, you can use the d4 TRAVIS: Oh, right, okay. Thank you SAM: Wait, did you give a d4 to everybody? TALIESIN: No, just to Fjord. Wisdom saving throw Ha! TRAVIS: Yasha rolled a five. Fjord rolled a 16 LIAM: Son of a bitch MATT: Fjord, you’re fine. Yasha is frightened of Dashilla until the end of the round. Caleb? LIAM: Frightened MARISHA: 13 MATT: You succeed. You manage to resist the fear effect SAM: Two MATT: Oh, Nott SAM: Nope, Nott’s immune to fear MATT: That’s right, because you’re drunk! (yelling) MATT: You’re like, come at me, spirits! LAURA: I never knew there was anything good about the drunk! MARISHA: It hasn’t come into play! MATT: Nott becomes Nott the Brave when she’s drunk TRAVIS: Amazing! MATT: So unaffected. Spirits, whatever! SAM: Fuck you! MATT: You’ve been braving the ocean for half a day LIAM: Fuck you! Come at me, you sea hag! LAURA: 14 MATT: You manage to resist it TALIESIN: 28. The fuck is this shit? Who the fuck are you people? MATT: As the spirits rise, this haunting, wailing sound reverberates in the chamber. Both Caleb and Yasha, their eyes go wide, and their breathing begins to increase. You guys are frightened of
Dashilla to the end of the turn. Now it comes to Dashilla’s turn TRAVIS: I can take care of that MATT: Suddenly, tearing through the seaweed on the upper wall, you see this figure emerge now. This pale, aqua-green skin that’s bulbous and strangely proportioned. These long, clawed hands. As the hair pulls back, you can see, where would be a humanoid face instead are these protracted, almost anglerfish-type teeth that come out of the front, with no nose, and the yellow eyes gleaming from underneath. She’s going to look straight down at you, Caleb LAURA: No! MATT: I need you to make a wisdom saving throw for me, please LIAM: Another one? Oh, good MARISHA: My bodyguarding doesn’t do shit. Stop looking at him! MATT: Natural one? As she looks, she’s still up in the air, swimming, looking at you. Mouth opens, and you feel the deepest, most horrifying fear well up inside you. Your heart stops, and you drop to zero hit points TRAVIS: Oh my fucking god! MATT: You guys watch Caleb go (creaking) and start drifting there, unconscious SAM: Oh, fuck MATT: Dashilla, now hovering in the space, is going to move over. She moves over to the side of the wall here, still visible, now jumping and using and holding onto the seaweed like it’s a tether. All right LIAM: Really could have used that periapt right about now TRAVIS: The what? MATT: The periapt. That ends her turn. Fjord, you’re up TRAVIS: Is she visible? MATT: She’s visible. She’s up on the wall on this side TALIESIN: I got this. I’ve got him MATT: Remember, you guys are still underwater Aside from Fjord, you’re all half speed TRAVIS: Yeah, okay LIAM: Oh, the lights are out TALIESIN: I still have my light MATT: Yeah MARISHA: And his sword? Is his sword out? MATT: The sword does give a faint bit of light LAURA: And my axe! TRAVIS: I’ll use my speed to close to the pedestal, between the pedestal and Dashilla MATT: Right there? TRAVIS: Yeah, but I’ll stop short of her. I will use a bonus action to cast Hex on her MATT: She is hexed. You have already used your– TRAVIS: Hexblade’s Curse, yeah MATT: As she’s holding up there, looking down at you, the murkiness of the nearby waters in the movement begins to form around her and almost try and claw at her throat, like the shadows themselves are trying to pull at her clavicle TRAVIS: I will gather two Eldritch Blasts in my hands and fire them both at her MATT: Roll two attacks TALIESIN: With extra d4s on both TRAVIS: Yes, thank you. One is a natural 20 MATT: Yeah, it is! TRAVIS: The other is a 17 plus four for a 21 MATT: Both hit. You don’t even need the d4s on that. Roll damage on the critical first TRAVIS: I roll an extra d6 for the Hex, okay. So the critical first. 1d10 plus four. That’s a one MATT: So two, but roll the d6, which is also doubled TRAVIS: That’s a six MATT: So 12, so that’s 14 plus your– TRAVIS: Plus four MATT: That’s 18 points of damage on that one. And damage for the second one? TRAVIS: Is a nine plus four, 13. Five, 18 points of damage MATT: Well, look at that. 36 points of damage on a cantrip and a Hex. That’s how warlocks are done So as she’s up there, as the Hex constrains around her, both Eldritch Blasts hit. From both blasts, there’s these dark scar marks on the upper torso and one off the shoulder where they impact. The head curls up and (creaking) back in your direction. The eyes seem to bulge angrily toward you TRAVIS: Uh-huh MATT: Does that end your turn? TRAVIS: Yes, it does MATT: Okay. At the end of your turn, she’s going to use one of her legendary actions to use Forced Vision. At some point during this adventure, as she was trailing you throughout the cavern and watching from a distance, she ensorceled a number of your members of the party, you being one of them MARISHA: She what? LAURA: That was the cold thingies TRAVIS: Was she invisible? MATT: She was hiding through all the seaweed, and no one was rolling high enough perception to see
her. You saw her move once because she didn’t roll high enough stealth on that one MARISHA: What the fuck is about to happen? TRAVIS: And this is Forced Vision? MATT: Correct. You are not immediately in melee with anybody, but she’s going to force you to move. You glance. All of a sudden you see her out of the corner of your eye. She’s not there anymore. She’s off there. You rush in her direction after her, compelled to move over this side right up against the wall, between the wall and Beau. You get there, and she’s gone. You look back, and she never left. You shake your head for a second. That’s one legendary action done. Next turn is Nott SAM: I will move to the left, my left, near that pillar thing, yeah, and bonus action hide behind it MATT: Okay. You move over there. So bonus action, hide SAM: Shit, not great. 16 MATT: 16 hits SAM: No, 16, that’s the hide MATT: Sorry, that’s right. Yeah SAM: I don’t know if that hides me enough. Is that–? MATT: You don’t know. You’ll find out SAM: Okay. And I will attack MATT: All right. So you dart from behind and fire SAM: I shoot at a 25 or something like that MATT: That indeed hits. And she didn’t roll very well for perception, so you do get sneak attack on this SAM: All right! Yeah. Okay LAURA: Yeah, that’s good SAM: 21 plus five is– LAURA: (singing) 26 SAM: Plus Fury of the Small is another seven, right? Is that that works now? MATT: 33 SAM: Yeah, 33 MATT: So darting from the side and letting the bubbles go by. She is within 30 feet of you, so you do not have the disadvantage. It catches her in the chest, and her hands go forward and she leans out of the seaweed for a second to pull it out and let it fall as it slowly begins to drift down, sinking into the chamber before reaching back up into the seaweed and holding on to it SAM: That is not sanitary TRAVIS: Does she take poison damage? MATT: No. She is immune to the effect of the seaweed SAM: That makes a little sense TRAVIS: Unfortunate. Unfortunate MATT: So, is that your turn? SAM: That’s my turn. I’ve done everything MATT: All righty. Finishing Nott’s go, Yasha’s up Yasha is frightened TRAVIS: She will rage with her bonus action and no longer be frightened or charmed MATT: She can do that? TRAVIS: Doesn’t rage break– MATT: Nah. I think that’s a thing that berserkers got TARVIS: Oh, really? MATT: I’ll double check TRAVIS: It might have been. Might have been some old shit MATT: Yeah that’s mindless rage. It’s sixth level path of the berserker. It’s a little Grog bleeding in there TRAVIS: Sorry. Old shit MATT: All good TRAVIS: She will definitely not move any closer to Dashilla. Where is Yasha– she’s right there Where’s Caleb? MATT: Caleb is over there TRAVIS: Can she…? LAURA: If she stays within 15 feet of me then she’s– anyone within 15 feet of me is protected by my unicorn dragons TRAVIS: From what? From Scary Face? TALIESIN: From being attacked physically LAURA: From being attacked. They get attacked if they get near you TRAVIS: Where is Jester standing? MATT: Jester’s right here. She’s technically up on the stair right there TRAVIS: Okay I got you. Can Yasha use her 20 feet to move to Caleb? MATT: I’ll say, for the purposes of ease there, Jester is up on that stair there TRAVIS: 20 feet to move to Caleb, which shouldn’t be any closer to Dashilla MATT: Nope. Up on top of this platform or off to the side? MARISHA: There’s a platform? MATT: There’s a little raised section in the center there TRAVIS: Sure. Platform sounds good. And she will use her handy heal thing to pump seven points of healing into Caleb TALIESIN: Did she get tapped in the head by the way? Since we are running her? TRAVIS: Yasha didn’t. Not that I remember MATT: No LAURA: I did, Fjord did, and– MATT: Caleb did LAURA AND TRAVIS: Caleb did TALIESIN: Fuck TRAVIS: So Caleb gets six hit points as an action, healing hands LIAM: On top of seven, or six total? TRAVIS: Seven total LIAM: Seven total. So I got that TRAVIS: Does that bring him back to consciousness? MATT: Yes it does TRAVIS: Okay. Just making sure MATT: So you’re back to consciousness. You’re at seven hit points LIAM: But Expeditious Retreat is gone MATT: Correct LIAM: Is Mage Armor gone? MATT: No, Mage Armor is not concentration MATT: Correct. You’re still frightened until the end of the turn TRAVIS: Can she use a bonus action to rage, even though she’s frightened? MATT: Yeah TRAVIS: I know it might fall if she doesn’t attack anything or isn’t attacked MATT: Correct TRAVIS: Okay let’s do it anyway MATT: Okay, so she goes into a rage? TRAVIS: And that’s her turn MATT: All right that ends Yasha’s go. At the end of Yasha’s turn it’s going to use another legendary action to use Forced Vision on you, Fjord. I need you to go ahead and make a melee attack against Beau, as you glance around and suddenly she’s right there in front of you. And you take your falchion, swing out to try and take her out MARISHA: Has disadvantage, because I have Patient Defense MATT: Yep. So you have disadvantage on the strike TRAVIS: Okay, that’s good MATT: But you do have plus d4s to each of the hits because of Bless TRAVIS: Oh shitballs. That’s at two plus eight is ten
MATT: Plus a d4 TRAVIS: Plus a d4 is– MARISHA: He misses TRAVIS: –is 14 MATT: Yeah MATT: (sword whoosh) You duck out of the way “What the hell?” MARISHA: Dick! TRAVIS: I’m like, I don’t know MARISHA: (confused noises) MATT: All right. That ends Yasha’s turn. Caleb You are conscious, prone, floating, sinking towards the ground as you come to consciousness as Yasha grabs and jolts you awake LIAM: If I crouch behind the table from where Dashilla is, will I get half cover or something? MATT: Yeah, you’d get half cover. Yeah LIAM: Okay. So I am going to do that and then I am going to– MATT: Getting up from prone? LIAM: I would like to stay semi-crouched to try and get some cover from that thing MATT: Yeah, you can get cover LIAM: Thank you. And I pull a twisted blackened twig out and point it at her and cast Witch Bolt at fourth level MARIASHA: That’s cool MATT and LAURA: At fourth level! TRAVIS: That’s a fuck ton of d10s? MATT: That’s 4d12 LIAM: That’s a ranged spell attack, correct? MATT: Correct. So you have to roll a d20, add your spell attack modifier LIAM: Plus the Bless? TRAVIS AND LAURA: Yes MATT: Yes, technically, because he was concentrating LIAM: Spell attack is 13, plus the Bless is a d4? TALIESIN: Yep TRAVIS: It’s just four, right? TALIESIN: No, it’s a d4 LIAM: It’s a d4. So, 14 MATT: Her armor class is 15. I’m so sorry LIAM: Blast it. Gone MATT: You release the Witch Bolt and as it fires out and arcs, in a split-second moment the eyes go wide and she darts out of the way and it impacts the side of the stone wall. You watch as the seaweed she was clutching is burned and falls away for a second, and behind it, you see another one of those runes. Just sitting there in the chamber LIAM: Them’s the breaks. Them’s the breaks MATT: That’s your turn. All right, back at the top. Beau, you’re up MARISHA: Spellcasters suck! MATT: Actually, at the end of Caleb’s turn TRAVIS: How many legendary actions does she have? MATT: She has three. She’s going to use her last one. She’s going to go ahead and use Shifting Speed. So she’s going to move her speed without triggering opportunity attacks (background music) SAM: Oh, a fast swimmer! A regular Michael Phelps! MATT: Actually she can move ten more feet, so right there SAM: Oh my God! TRAVIS: A 50-foot swim MATT: Yep. As you watch, she skitters across the wall, grabbing the seaweed and using it, almost Tarzan-like, to thrust herself forward, grabbing onto this bit, rolling, and then swimming around and is now floating in the air, or floating in the water, right next to where Caduceus is standing Beau, what are you doing? MARISHA: How many feet is she? MATT: From you right now? MARISHA: Yeah. (counting) MATT: 30 feet from you MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay. I’m going to dart, I’m going to do, um LAURA: Step of the Wind? MARISHA: Thank you. Thank you for knowing my abilities MATT: So you jump off the ground and swim forward, cruising through the room, Step of the Wind you get one extra push and you land right next to where she is MARISHA: (strained voice) I’m going to punch her with my fists! (laughter) MATT: Go for it! MARISHA: Just going to try and Keanu Reeves ghost-punch her. I don’t know. Punching ghosts TRAVIS: Was that a Matrix reference? MARISHA: Well, uh, you know like the– LAURA: Go! MARISHA: Is this at disadvantage? MATT: Yes, because you are underwater still MARISHA: That’s four. Yeah, probably not. 11 MATT: The first strike, as you come forward, this is the first time you get a really good look at the face of this terrible creature, and as soon as you come towards, the mouth opens up and you barely hold back from the punch and that just gives it enough time to shift out of the way and it just hits water MARISHA: One more. Okay! 22! MATT: That hits. You know now that 15 is the armor class TRAVIS: Can I say, for the Hex, wisdom ability checks– disadvantage MATT: Wisdom ability checks, got it MARISHA: Nine MATT: Nine? Nine points of damage. As the first one misses and pulls away, you’re like, “Nope!” Whack! And then right across the jaw, (cracking sound). Cold and hard. There’s a toughness to her MARISHA: Boney MATT: All right. Does that finish your turn, Beau? MARISHA: Yep MATT: All right. Caduceus and Jester, you’re up TALIESIN: You want to go? LAURA: Sure! MATT: She did technically move around and would’ve passed through your 15-foot radius, by the way LAURA: Oh! MATT: So she does have to make a wisdom saving throw. A five plus one. Six. So that’s a failure
Go ahead and roll damage for your– LAURA: Spirit Guardians? MATT: Spirit Guardians, yes LAURA: Yay! TRAVIS: Seahorses! LAURA: Seahorse unicorns! Hold on, where’s my other– where the fuck are my d8s? SAM: You can use mine LAURA: (high pitched) Where’d all my d8s go!? SAM: Here’s one LAURA: There’s another one. 10, 13. Radiant damage! SAM: (sing-song) Mine rolled the best of the three dice! MATT: Caleb and Yasha are no longer frightened of Dashilla. Okay, 13. So you watch as she darts across the room as her legendary action. All the floating seahorses suddenly dart up and slam into her side, but she still manages to skitter past All right, so now it’s Jester and Caduceus’ turn Because you guys are players, I’m giving you the initiative just before the lair action hits, because you’re all on 20. Go for it LAURA: I’m going to step forward so I’m within 15 feet of her so they can try to attack her again MATT: On her turn? All right SAM: Bloop LAURA: An affected creature– When you cast the spell– What? MATT: Technically the creature’s movement is halved when it moves through LAURA: An affected creature’s is halved in the area, yes MATT: It only barely skimmed the side, so it would have lost five foot of movement, so we’ll say that Dashilla is there LAURA: Okay. And when the creature enters the area for the first time on a turn or starts its turn there. So if I move towards it wouldn’t it enter the area? MATT: No, you’re entering hers. She has to enter your area. However, at the start of her turn, it triggers LAURA: Okay. Then I’m going to move within 15 feet of her and then as a bonus action I’m going to cast Spiritual Weapon at 4th-level MATT: Ooh boy! TRAVIS: Is that the first time? LAURA: Mmhmm. So that’s a little spiritual lollipop with giant serrated blades coming out of it MATT: So where are you putting it? LAURA: Right in front of her face MATT: Like right here? Let her do it LAURA: Is it okay? TALIESIN: No, yeah, no, my opinions are weird LAURA: And it’s going to attack her MATT: Go ahead and roll an attack LAURA: Whoa! That’s a natural 19 so I think that hits MATT: Yes it does, go ahead and roll damage on that LAURA: Whoa! Double eights! MATT: Well you cast it at 4th-level you said, right? That’s 3d8 LAURA: Really? MATT: Because it’s 2nd-level normally, each level you put on top of that– MARISHA: You get an additional die LAURA: Really!? MATT: Yeah, for every spell level ahead of two you get another. So 16 plus one more d8 LAURA: Seven! MATT: All right. So that’s 23 TRAVIS: 24 MATT: No, 23. Double eights is 16, plus seven is 23 LAURA: 23 plus four! MATT: Yeah, because of your wisdom. So 27 points of damage. Whack! The serrated edge of the lollipop grinds into her! As it does, black blood spills out from the wound of the chest, the shreds of seaweed and cloth pulling off from the front, exposing the sunken rib cage where the flesh is pulled taut against, and now the wound itself is open and spilling this trail of cloudy black blood in the water LAURA: For my action, I’m going to cast Sacred Flame SAM: That was your bonus action? MATT: Yep. Sacred Flame is a cantrip, so go for it. That’s wisdom, or dexterity? LAURA: Dexterity save MATT: Dexterity save. That is going to be an 18 LAURA: Damn it. Okay MATT: But that was a nice round TRAVIS: Dude, get the fuck out! MATT: All right, finishing up Jester’s turn Caduceus? TALIESIN: Motherfucking dexterity save. That’s some bullshit MATT: You just watched her dart over you, essentially, Ten feet up above, scoot past, land, and then both Jester and Beau converge and start pummelling her in the hallway MARISHA: I’m just punching the shit out of her while surrounded by rainbow sea horses and a bladed lollipop. This is awesome MATT: Welcome to Dungeons & Dragons TALIESIN: I’m going to also do this. I’m going to do a Sacred Flame MATT: Okay. Dexterity save. That is going to be a 14. I don’t believe that– TALIESIN: That does not, because it’s a 16 MATT: Yep, so go ahead and roll damage on that TALIESIN: And that’s nine points of radiant damage MATT: Nine points of radiant damage, nice. (spell impact, angry snarl) TALIESIN: I don’t like the look of this thing. I’m going to turn invisible and I’m going to back up a little into the MATT: So you turn invisible and you’re going to back up into here, into this little corner? TALIESIN: I mean down the steps a bit
MATT: Oh, there? TALIESIN: Towards me. Oh, I got a thing still MATT: Over here? TALIESIN: Yeah, so I’m far enough away from anything that I might need to fuck with MATT: Got it. And you are invisible there. Good to know. All right, at the end of your turn, the lair action kicks in. Clouded Waters. Now you watch as the silt, the muck, and the bones all of a sudden begin to swirl up into the waters around you and obscure the area. The entire lair is now considered heavily obscured. You cannot see more than five feet in front of you SAM: Whoa MATT: It’s now Dashilla’s turn. She gets her legendary actions back SAM: Hey, she can’t see us! (background music) MATT: Oh, she’s not affected by the obscurity This is her lair TALIESIN: She starts 15 feet within– MATT: She does, so immediately she has to take the Spirit Guardians LAURA: And she’s hexed on wisdom MATT: Wisdom ability checks, not saving throws Otherwise hex would be super powerful. But she still rolls a 4 LAURA: Yay! MATT: So do full damage LAURA: That doesn’t count because it slipped out SAM: It was not intentional MATT: Okay LAURA: I rolled lower anyway; I wanted to be fair 13 MATT: 13 points of radiant damage, blasted again as this cluster of vibrant glowing, almost pink pulsing sea horses swirl around and pierce through her chest LAURA: Sea horses with unicorn horns MATT: Unicorn horns, of course. I assumed! TRAVIS: Do they have pissed off expressions or are they happy? LAURA: They’re happy TRAVIS: Oh good! MATT: They’re just like “wee!” TALIESIN: Be happy in your work MATT: It’s very like that Perry Bible Fellowship comic TALIESIN: Oh yeah, oh god! MATT: The kid gets impaled by the unicorns; I love it so much. All right, so that happens. The top of her turn. Yeah, nobody’s currently feared by her TRAVIS: Yasha is still TALIESIN: Nope MATT: No, it lasts until the beginning of the next combat round. Okay, she’s going to go ahead and do a multi-attack with her claws against Beauregard because she’s in melee MARISHA: Okay MATT: That’s two strikes against you, these giant bladed, fingered claws. First one is– that’s a natural 14 plus seven. That’s 21 to hit MARISHA: Yep MATT: The second one is a natural 16 MARISHA: Yep MATT: All right, so you get hit from each. You take, from the first strike, 12 points of slashing damage. The second one, 14 points of slashing damage. In what already was clouded silt is now clouded further by your own blood from the slash marks across the front and the side of your neck and jaw, and the pain sears through. In an instant, all you see is the claws streaking through and the glowing yellow eyes before they rescind back into the cloud TALIESIN: No attack of opportunity? MATT: Well no, she’s going to attempt to move back. Make an attack of opportunity with disadvantage MARISHA: Yeah. Nope TRAVIS: Fucking Gil MATT: With that she vanishes into– LIAM: The murk. It’s just physical crap filling the water? MATT: Yeah, just all over. That’s going to go ahead and end Dashilla’s turn. Fjord, you’re up TRAVIS: Am I coherent? Am I awake and alive? MATT: Yes TRAVIS: That’s cool, good! MATT: You’re a bit shaken by all these visions that keep creeping into your head TRAVIS: Wow. I only remember where I kind of last saw her? MATT: Yes. I mean you saw her still dart and run this way, and then everything just went dark around you and you can’t see more than five feet ahead of you TRAVIS: Fuck me. I don’t even know where to send anything MATT: It’s heavily obscured which means you can still attack that direction, but it’s at disadvantage TRAVIS: I’m going to move over to the throne MATT: Mm-hmm SAM: And claim it as my own! TRAVIS: And send two Eldritch Blasts towards the area that she’s at, at disadvantage MATT: Okay, wow, that was– TALIESIN: I feel you LIAM: Desperation MATT: All right. Two strikes at disadvantage, go for it TRAVIS: Plus the d4, that’s 14. Plus three is 17 MATT: That still hits with disadvantage TRAVIS: And a 12– 19, 20? MATT: You watch as soon as everything clouds in and you see her vanishing in that distant area
You throw them back out there, and through sheer luck and remembering where she was heading, both blasts– you don’t even see the impact but you hear the (gasp). Roll damage on each of those LIAM: He just threw the basketball over his shoulder from half court TRAVIS: That’s ten on the first one, and the second one is nine plus four is 13 LAURA: He Sigourney Weavered it TRAVIS: 16 points on the second one, so 26 total MATT: Nice! TALIESIN: Fuck, motherfucker! MATT: Oof, there were some good rounds in that All right, that’s your action? TRAVIS: That’s Hex baby. That is my action MATT: Okay, you’re going to stay there by the throne? TRAVIS: Yeah MATT: That finishes your go, Fjord. Next up, it is Nott SAM: I will follow suit– oh wait, she’s more than 30 feet away from me, isn’t she? MATT: You have no idea where she is. You know that she’s somewhere in this tunnel SAM: Okay, great MATT: Or in that direction SAM: Well then I won’t do that. I will– there’s nothing for me to do. There’s no do to do LAURA: You can fire at where she was TALIESIN: Or hold action LAURA: Or hold action until she appears, that’s smart SAM: Yeah, I’ll just find a little hiding spot somewhere, like around– MATT: You’re heavily obscured so you can literally hide anywhere right now SAM: Okay MATT: You’re in a cloud of murk and gathered sediment TALIESIN: Yeah! SAM: Yeah! I’ll just crouch down then and hold my action until I see her MATT: Are you hiding then as a bonus? SAM: Yes MATT: Roll stealth SAM: 18 MATT: Okay, and then you are holding– SAM: Holding a crossbow bolt until I see her or an enemy MATT: Okay, you got it. All right, that finishes your go. Yasha’s turn TRAVIS: Yeah. She doesn’t know where she is right? It’s clouded as fuck? MATT: Yeah TRAVIS: She’s all melee as shit SAM: Can she dispel the magical effect on the room? I don’t know TRAVIS: Yes LIAM: It’s not necessarily a magical effect MARISHA: Oh, her sword! TRAVIS: Actually, she has Dispel Magic on her sword LIAM: If it’s magic TRAVIS: The Magician’s Judge. You can choose to cast Dispel Magic against the target as part of the attack MARISHA: It’s a lair action TRAVIS: Can I attack the water? MATT: It’s less– LIAM: That’s why I asked if it was shit in the water MATT: Yeah, not that Yasha would understand with her comparatively limited experience of arcane stuff, but it’s not so much magical darkness than it is as much of sediment and silt up in the air by some sort of– it’s up to her, she can give it a shot TRAVIS: Nope MATT: All right TRAVIS: No. She will put her back against Caleb, back to back MATT: While staying there? TRAVIS: Yeah. Get down off the pedestal, I guess Literally back to back with him, shoulder blades against shoulder blades, and hold her attack in case she-bitch shows up SAM: Just two bad-asses, back to back, ready to go MATT: You got it LIAM: Where are they? TRAVIS: Her rage will fall MATT: Yes it does. Okay, that ends Yasha’s go Caleb LIAM: I’m going to cast Detect Magic because I have a suspicion that she has something on her, or perhaps the orb in her head. Then I will down the potion that’s in my pocket as a bonus action MATT: Okay, go for it LIAM: Yeah MATT: You cast Detect Magic in a 30 foot radius around you. You sense a powerful magical essence from the throne next to Fjord LIAM: Ah! SAM: Kill Fjord LIAM: Okay, so I get six points back from that. I am going to move towards Fjord and crouch behind the table MATT: Right there? LIAM: A little closer this way, so I’d be between Fjord and the table. Ja, gut MATT: Okay, that ends your turn LIAM: Yes. Trying to get cover again MATT: All right, at the end of your turn, Dashilla’s going to use a legendary action to use Forced Vision on you Fjord. As you’re there by the side, you look over by the corner and you see– you don’t see Caleb. You see a spirit rushing up towards you with an open maw. Go ahead and make an attack TRAVIS: Disadvantage? MATT: No TRAVIS: Why was it at disadvantage before? MATT: Because she had Patient Defense on TRAVIS: That’s right LAURA: But it’s a melee attack MARISHA: Against him? MATT: He’s not affected by it because of his armor. He’s got Mariner’s Armor LIAM: So it doesn’t affect just movement. It’s everything? TRAVIS: That’s a natural one. Plus two! For three A total of ten MATT: Yeah, no. As you swing, that little bit in the back of your brain resists, and you can see for a moment through the illusion– TRAVIS: Sorry, 11. It’s 11 MATT: With your mage armor I think you’re okay, right? LIAM: Oh yeah. 14 MATT: Yeah you manage to just pull back enough to pull the blade back and Caleb you watch as it spins past, missing you by inches LIAM: Ah! You were Fjord in that moment (laughter) MATT: All right
SAM: Any excuse to hit Marisha MARISHA: The fuck? MATT: Top of the round. It’s Beau’s go MARISHA: I’m in shock still; I’m sorry. Bring back cookies if you’re going LIAM: I’ll bring back cookies MARISHA: Bring back fucking cookies! LIAM: Sorry! SAM: Fucking cookies! MARISHA: You fucking dick! MATT: It’s made of fucking cookies! MARISHA: Where is she? MATT: You don’t know MARISHA: I don’t know? I don’t see her? MATT: She disappeared. You’re surrounded by cloud; you can barely see Jester at the peripheral and the floating Spiritual Weapon, and you watch her vanish into this swirling bit of murk TALIESIN: Going to have to wait until it passes MARISHA: Yeah, I’m going to hold. I’m going to move down past on the other side of Jester a little bit MATT: Okay MARISHA: Right behind her and hold my action until I see her, if she’s in range to attack MATT: You got it. All right, so you’re holding your attack action. That ends your turn. Caduceus and Jester MARISHA: I have to spend bonus actions on my turn, correct? MATT: Correct MARISHA: I will go ahead and spend Patient Defense MATT: You got it TRAVIS: PD! LAURA: (low-pitched siren-like sound, then high-pitched siren-like sound) You go first TALIESIN: I’m not particularly interesting. I’m just going to– MATT: You reappear TALIESIN: I reappear. I’m going to move a little further into the center of the room, and I’m going to– MATT: There? TALIESIN: No, a little– I’ve got a pen for this Oh my god, it’s dead now. To be fair, we’ve been using it for years. Just at the foot of the stairs MATT: Oh, like here? TALIESIN: Yeah, like there. We’ll make a nice long line so it’ll be a little touchy-feely thing to get from one side to the other. I’m going to hold my attack until I see her, which is going to be a Sacred Flame MATT: Okay, so you’re holding Sacred Flame TALIESIN: As a bonus, I’m going to do Healing Word on– you are probably pretty down, so I will throw you a tiny bit– it’s not a lot, but it’s nine points LAURA: Ooh, that’s pretty good MARISHA: Ooh, that is good SAM: Ooh! MATT: Okay. All right, so you’re holding Sacred Flame, you said, right? LAURA: No, that’s– TALIESIN: That was me MATT: What are you doing, Jester? LAURA: I guess I’ll just for my bonus action– can I swing my lollipop at where I thought she was? MATT: Sure, go ahead and roll attack with disadvantage LAURA: Natural 20 and a 16 MATT: It hits the fuck out of nothing; she’s not there, unfortunately LAURA: Damn it. Okay, then I guess I will hold my spell Guiding Bolt until I see her MATT: Okay. At the end of the turn, the sediment drops. The moment it drops, she appears SAM: Hey! MARISHA: Be at range, bitch! MATT: She is over here MARISHA: She’s on fucking range! MATT: Nope, but both of you get to fire at her You unfortunately do not see her; she’s around the corner from you SAM: That’s fine. I see them firing and so I just shoot at them MATT: So excited in the moment! SAM: Ahh! TRAVIS: Light it up! LAURA: Natural 20! MATT: That’s amazing! All right, so roll your damage LAURA: 4d6 times two? MATT: Yep TALIESIN: And save against dex 16 MATT: Natural 19 TALIESIN: Motherfucker SAM: Ooh, nice! TALIESIN: Yeah, all I need LAURA: 32 points of radiant damage and next is advantage MATT: Next attack has advantage on her, yeah She’s starting to look pretty hurt. As it blasts into her and lights up the vicinity, between the gash and the various impacts from the Eldritch Blasts and the punches from Beau, and now where that impacted, there’s now a darkened, burned crater in the center of the chest that’s beginning to ooze out blood. She’s like (heavy breathing) All right. Reappears, at which point, the next lair action is going to be Tethering Walls. Any creature within ten feet of a wall must make a dexterity saving throw. That’s going to be Jester, Beau’s just out of range, Caduceus. Everybody but Jester, ten feet from a wall LAURA: Everybody but me? MATT: Yeah. No, sorry, everybody but Beau. Beau’s the one who’s central to this chamber TRAVIS: Yasha has advantage on those MATT: She does. What’s up? TALIESIN: You’ve got a d4 on saves also. Dex save?
MATT: Dex save, yes LAURA: 22 MATT: Success TRAVIS: Natural 20 for Fjord and a 19 for Yasha MATT: Great, success MARISHA: Didn’t have to roll MATT: I’m sorry, not you LIAM: 14 MATT: Success SAM: 21 MATT: Success TALIESIN: Six MATT: Caduceus, as the seaweed extends outward, most of you manage to duck out of the way However, it wraps around and pulls Caduceus to the wall. You are grappled and you take 11 points of poison damage TALIESIN: All right MATT: That ends that. It is now Dashilla’s turn Dashilla is going to go ahead and move ten feet up to Jester LAURA: She has to make a saving throw SAM: I shoot her MATT: Well, she actually started within the range, so she makes it. You do LAURA: She started within 15 feet? MATT: You do. Go ahead and make your attack SAM: It’s a 16 MATT: 16 hits SAM: I am hidden from her MATT: Correct TRAVIS: Sneak attack? SAM: Uh-huh. 20 MATT: 20 points of damage, oof. Nice. Then the save against yours, a natural 19. So she takes half damage. Still roll LAURA: Okay, so I still roll. Oh, that’s a seven No, that’s a one. Okay. Oh, that’s shit. Five. It looks like a seven SAM: It does. It’s not a good dice. You should throw that one away MATT: Five points of damage, reduced to two. She’s going to rush toward you and take two claw strikes at you. Natural 19! Wow, fucking 19s this past round. Yeah, that’s a 26 to hit you LAURA: It hits MATT: On the second strike, a natural 17 LAURA: That also hits MATT: Yep, they both hit you. You take, ooh, 19 points of slashing damage from the first hit and 17 points of slashing damage from the second LAURA and TALIESIN: Damn MATT: That’s ten feet of movement, and she’s going to– LAURA: Oh, I use Hellish Rebuke! MATT: Go for it TRAVIS: You could hear the thought burst forth: Don’t forget about it! LAURA: 15 points MATT: Nice! Dashilla’s looking really bad LAURA: As she hits me, my eyes flare white, and I go: Aah! Like that MATT: As it happens, these ice crystals formulate out of the seawater and all cross-jettison into her body. Now they’re embedded in her chest and torso, these large crystals of shards of jagged ice. (snarling) Eyes going wide, looks around She’s going to use the rest of her movement– TALIESIN: Speed is halved MATT: Speed is halved on the movement, so that’s (counting) 60 LAURA: Oh, shit balls MATT: Well, not 50, technically, because 50 is her swimming speed. So right there SAM and LAURA: She’s fleeing MATT: That’s the end of Dashilla’s turn. Fjord, you’re up first SAM: Teleport! I don’t know, can’t you teleport or something? MARISHA: Is she trying to run? TALIESIN: Technically, I think you have line of sight, from what I’m looking at right now LAURA: If you jump up, you do MATT: Yeah. It is water. There is a vertical aspect you guys can use if you want to TRAVIS: Why not. I’ll go, (impacts) MATT: Okay. There’s this cloud of sand and dust and bones that get scattered up from your leap You’re up in the air and then throw both forward Roll attacks MARISHA: Kill her. Come on. That’s good! TRAVIS: That’s a 26 and a 23 MATT: Both hit. Roll damage TRAVIS: Okay, so 12, 15 points on the first one LAURA: Did you add your–? Okay TRAVIS: Nine points on the second one, so 19 points of damage MATT: 19 points on the second one? TRAVIS: No, 19 points total between the two MATT: Okay. Fuck, man, she’s right on the cusp! All right. That finishes your turn? TRAVIS: It does MATT: Legendary action, she’s going to Shifting Speed– TALIESIN: Damn it! LAURA and TALIESIN: No! MATT: 20, and is out of sight MARISHA: No! TALIESIN: You still know where she is because of Hex, though, right? MATT: Hex doesn’t work that way. That’s Hunter’s Mark. All right, that finishes Fjord’s turn. Nott? MARISHA: Go fight her! SAM: I’ll run after her, but it’s half speed, so I’ll get 45 feet
MATT: (mini clicking on map) You still don’t see her SAM: I don’t see her! That’s it MATT: All right, that ends your turn. Yasha? LAURA: Can you hold until you–? MATT: He used action, movement, and bonus TALIESIN: Who’s up? MATT: It is now Yasha TRAVIS: Oh, right, that’s me. Fuck LAURA: Cad’s still grappled TALIESIN: Help TRAVIS: Oh yeah. She’ll go through and take some swipes at the kelp, trying to loosen Caduceus. Or would it be better to grab you and fucking pull? MATT: If she rages in advance, she can use advantage on the athletics check. Up to you TRAVIS: (German accent) Ja, let’s do the raging SAM: Ashley? TRAVIS: Okay. So two athletics, you said? MATT: Yes. Athletics with advantage TRAVIS: Fucking what? 14 MATT: 14’s enough. The DC to break is 12 TRAVIS: I don’t know the scale, Matt MATT: It’s seaweed. But yeah. She reaches forward and grabs Caduceus and pulls him away from the side so now you’re no longer grappled. You can move TALIESIN: Yay! Thank you TRAVIS: Yep MATT: That’s her action and her bonus. That finishes Yasha’s go. Caleb, you’re up LIAM: Yeah, this is a fucked situation. I am going to hold Magic Missile at second level if she appears MATT: You got it LIAM: Just in case MATT: Okay. That finishes Caleb’s go. Top of the round, Beau MARISHA: I am burning a Step of the Wind and I am hauling ass towards the direction that Nott ran. I have 135 feet movement speed with that, so that, halved MATT: Halved, yeah SAM: So 60? LIAM: That’s pitiful MATT: You can move four squares per go, so another (counting) four. You get out the side and you can see– LIAM: Oh, get her! MATT: She hasn’t had a chance to hide yet MARISHA: (excited yelling) LIAM: Shuriken! MARISHA: God, I wish I had something that would– I just see her though MATT: You see her right there LAURA: You can’t attack her? You can’t– LIAM: You’re right there. She probably busted everything to get there LAURA: Throw a shuriken MATT: That the end of your turn? MARISHA: I don’t think I have anything else MATT: End of your turn MARISHA: I just go: I see her! MATT: Legendary action. She’s going to go ahead and Shift Speed again. Looks over the corner and sees you (hissing) and goes ahead and darts out of sight once more MARISHA: Fuck MATT: You know the direction where she curved around though MARISHA: Okay MATT: That finishes your go. Caduceus and Jester LAURA: I– oof TALIESIN: I’m just going to do the– Fjord, you should probably get what we’re looking for and get after her. I’m going to hightail it towards where she was heading MATT: Okay SAM: But the throne! MATT: That’s as close as you can get right there, I’ll say TALIESIN: Including burning an action? MATT: Oh, with burning an action you can get there TALIESIN: Yeah MATT: Okay TALIESIN: Still have a reaction MATT: There you go TALIESIN: I can take a little more damage before I’m awful MATT: Okay. That finishes your go LAURA: I turn to Fjord; I go: The orb! Fjord, do you see the orb? Do I see the orb? MATT: You do not see the orb, no LAURA: I’m going to stay here. No, I’m going to go after everybody else MATT: Okay SAM: But Oskar MATT: That a double move? LAURA: No, I’m going to cast– MATT: That’s as far as you can get on your single move there LAURA: Has anybody– has Nott been hit at all? TALIESIN: No SAM: Nott’s never hit LAURA: Can I bonus action? MATT: Rogues, man LAURA: Can I bonus action and still get the Dash thing? MATT: Yeah because it’s your action to move LAURA: Okay, cool. Then for my bonus action I’m going to– oh right, the Spiritual Weapon. I was going to cast Mass Healing Word, but that’s a third level TALIESIN: Yeah, you can’t do that, no LAURA: Never mind. Yeah, I’ll bring my Spiritual Weapon with me and then I guess I’ll keep going MATT: Right there, all right. You move (counting) 20; you get up to the edge there. Well, technically 15; you only move 30. All right, that finishes Jester’s turn. All of the seaweed falls back into a casual place. The next lair action is going to be the Lament of the Dead MARISHA: What? MATT: The dead spirits now begin to fall through at different angles out of the sides of the walls and drifting through. Everybody once more needs to make a wisdom saving throw LAURA: Everybody? MATT: Everybody TALIESIN: Oh, remember your extra d4. I forgot them
MATT: Through the halls, through everything MARISHA: 15 MATT: Success LIAM: 14 MATT: Success LIAM: Ooh LAURA: This is a wisdom? MATT: Yes. DC is 12 on this TRAVIS: 16 and a 13 for Yasha MATT: Both successes TALIESIN: 19 MATT: Success LAURA: 17 MATT: Success SAM: 11, doesn’t matter MATT: Huh? SAM: 11 LAURA: Oh, that’s right, you’re– MATT: Yeah, wow. You guys all cleared that check Nice LIAM: Fuck you, ghost MATT: Lair action, no effect. All right SAM: Sorry, Matt MATT: No, don’t apologize SAM: (whispering) He hates us MATT: Dashilla’s turn. Dashilla’s somewhere Fjord, what do you do? TRAVIS: I’m going to turn with the falchion in my hand and search the throne for– MATT: Make a search action? TRAVIS: Yeah MATT: Make an investigation check for me. I’ll say with advantage because you have the falchion drawn. You can sense the presence of something important TRAVIS: Is it investigation? MATT: Correct SAM: Come on TRAVIS: 13 MATT: 13 will do it. Going to the throne and sensing with the sword like a homing beacon, you feel the strong source where the cushion in the front of the throne is. It’s partially rotted, and you can see where once was red, nice velvet materials has blackened over time and general sediment in the area, and then minerals, begin to gather at the corners. You reach down and tear across the front and pull it open, and as you do, there immediately glowing from underneath, you see the yellow sphere giving off a faint aura of light TRAVIS: Can I reach for it? MATT: I’ll let you do that, yeah TRAVIS: I take it MATT: You take it SAM: Put it in your belly! LAURA: Eat it! Put it in your butt! TRAVIS: Can I do anything else with it? MATT: I’ll say, for the time being there is no immediate threat. Dashilla has fled. You can continue to search for her, if you’d like LAURA: No, I want to go back and get that money that she’s got. No? MATT: Okay, but for the time being, Dashilla has not– at least, for the time being TALIESIN: I’d rather not have this LIAM: So my held Magic Missile fizzles because time passes, right? MATT: It does MARISHA: I don’t know that yet, I’m going to keep looking for her over here MATT: Okay. You continue to move into the next area TALIESIN: I don’t feel okay with you being alone MARISHA: I’m hauling ass SAM: I’m still going with her MATT: You scoot around the area. Beau, you start moving through in this vicinity MARISHA: Mm-hmm, looking for anything MATT: Nott, you doing the same? SAM: Mm-hmm TALIESIN: I’m going to do the same MATT: Nott, you’re not as fast as her, so you’re falling a bit behind. Actually, no, you can do all three with your bonus action. Well, you both can, just in case you want to spend ki points MARISHA: Nah, not now LIAM: I have a question to you, when you’ve done that MATT: Yes? LIAM: Back in the chamber, Detect Magic is still up. Does Caleb see anything with an arcane glow in this room other than what Fjord picked up? MATT: Only the aura from the table LIAM: So none of the shit around the edges, okay I guess I will start studying the runes on the walls to see how they contribute to this mystery MATT: Okay, make an arcana check LIAM: This gets the d4? TALIESIN: Checks, no. Saves and attacks LIAM: 14 MATT: It’s hard to pick up the details of these particular runes. They seem of a similar age as the ones you saw on the table, but it’s not the same enchantment. You pick up that they are placed there for some reason, but you’re unable to ascertain what it is, unfortunately LIAM: On a whim, I’m going to use a 2nd-level spell slot to cast Comprehend Language instantly to see if anything becomes clearer, and I have to touch the table and touch the walls to do that MATT: Right, okay. It is not a language, per se These aren’t passages or language being transmitted; these are runes of some kind They are used to channel something They may or may not be connected to the table altar in the center LIAM: What are we doing here, Fjord? TRAVIS: Can I hold up the sphere in one hand and the falchion in the other? MATT: Yeah TRAVIS: Do they react to each other? MATT: They both get brighter TRAVIS: Can I try and hold the sphere to my chest? MATT: Yes, you may. As you take the sphere and press it to your chest, your eyes suddenly flash
images of black, sub-ocean darkness, the same place your dreams have brought you over and over again, and that bright yellow light emerges, breaking the shadow, and there you see the yellow eye with two more on the sides of it. You see the endless row of teeth that curves into the smile– and the flash is gone, and you look down and your hand is empty. The rest of you watched this thing momentarily seem to become either ethereal or it is absorbed into Fjord’s chest. You look at the sword, and now there’s the eye in the hilt and the eye in the pommel LAURA: That’s tight! TRAVIS: Ooh, hotness! Mmm. Let’s kill this bitch and get the fuck out of here LAURA: Do we need to kill her? You have what you came for TRAVIS: Sure, we can let her go LIAM: We should go, she’s not going to follow us to the surface LAURA: Let’s get some platinum before we leave though, what, what? TRAVIS: This pedestal, are we going to just leave it? LAURA: What difference does it make? LIAM: What are your goals? Your goal is, what, to–? TRAVIS: I was only curious about the orb, but it just seems so– LIAM: You know what Avantika talked about, you know what she wanted. You think this has nothing to do with that? TRAVIS: The temple I was in before had a recessed spot for the sphere. That just seems like a rune right, like a symbol? LIAM: Yeah, but if that was some sort of lock, you want to put the key in that lock? TRAVIS: No LIAM: Do you feel any different? TRAVIS: I do not. Yeah, we can get out of here Just, on our guard as we go LAURA: Yeah, on our guard, of course MATT: While you’re beginning to initiate the looting process, what are you doing, Caduceus? TALIESIN: I am basically holding ready to shoot a bolt at anything that moves, and I was actually hanging a little bit far down just in case one of them drops, I can heal, and somewhere where I’m not going to get attacked by kelp and I’m keeping very aware MATT: Okay. Well, you were staying over in this chamber with them. Nott and Beau, you are in the central chamber now. Do you want to search for the possible whereabouts of Dashilla? MARISHA: I want to look around and then I want to head towards that alcove back there SAM: I’m following to make sure she’s okay MARISHA: I technically haven’t heard shit MATT: Both of you make perception checks TRAVIS: Yeah, no, you’re right, you haven’t SAM: Five MARISHA: 21. 22. 19 MATT: All right. As you turn around the corner and you edge in here, you see movement behind the seaweed, using it as a blanket and a shield MARISHA: In this corridor or in the central chamber? MATT: Where you’re looking, you see it move this direction. You’re not sure which path, but Dashilla is still present it seems, or something moving through the seaweed as a cover, behind it like a curtain. Which path do you choose? MARISHA: I turn to Nott and say: Are we still fighting this thing? SAM: What? I don’t see anything. Where? MARISHA: She’s this way! I move that way MATT: Which way? MARISHA: Towards wherever I saw her MATT: You saw her move in the direction of this fork MARISHA: Of this side fork, right? MATT: This side? You saw her move in this direction, you saw it move through MARISHA: Oh SAM: Just pick one MARISHA: I’ll take the right MATT: Take the right? Okay. You move through, and you’re following? SAM: Yes MATT: Okay SAM: As I go, I take out my wire and I point and I whisper a message to Caleb: We went back to the left fork but then we went right LIAM: Wrapping up in here MATT: As you come around the corner, you see an old, decomposing pile of merrow corpses similar to
the ones that were tied up inside, but these all have these wounds of their throats slit from side to side MARISHA: Oh, sacrifice style MATT: They’re all in various states of decomposition, the freshest one maybe months ago, and the sea has caused its own unique form of bloating and sloughing off of the various parts of the skeleton MARISHA: Gross SAM: Is she in here? Do we see any movement? MATT: You can make another perception check TALIESIN: I would have made my way a little bit further MARISHA: All of us? SAM: 11 MARISHA: Ooh, that was almost a natural 20 Instead, it’s a five! MATT: Glancing inside and taking a moment to really look around, there’s no other movement SAM: Other way? MARISHA: Sure MATT: You guys shift around SAM: Cast a quick message: We went on the other one now MATT: As you turn around to the other side, there you see standing there, another pale, gaunt spirit looking right at you MARISHA: Go fuck a ghost! I punch it LIAM: I’m going to go fuck a ghost! TRAVIS: Who runs in a haunted house now? That’s fucking amazing MATT: Beauregard, doing probably one of my favorite things she’s ever done in this entire campaign, just runs up to fucking punch a ghost Go for it LIAM: Too slow, shit stain! MARISHA: That’s cocked. Not good. It’s 11 MATT: 11 just hits LIAM: Ghost puncher! MARISHA: (singing) Ghost puncher! TALIESIN: Puncher of ghosts MARISHA: It’s terrible! Five MATT: Five points of damage, okay MARISHA: Okay, second attack. Same thing, 11 Another five damage! MATT: Another five damage, okay MARISHA: Déjà vu MATT: You still have your bonus action MARISHA: I’m going to punch him again LIAM: You’re hitting his pressure points MARISHA: It hits TRAVIS: What the fuck? All three ones on her d6s SAM: That’s another five MATT: 15 points of damage. You punch the shit out of a ghost. Now, because I believe at level seven you have the capability of– MARISHA: To punch ghosts MATT: To punch ghosts! MARISHA: I can punch ghosts now. My fists are magical MATT: With each punch, you watch as the somewhat spectral glow scatters at each impact, and as she pulls back there are three holes in its form where the fists passed through. The ghost, which was normally just staring, goes (ghastly groan) in surprise TALIESIN: I can see this happen right? MARISHA: I know, I go: Caduceus! TALIESIN: Sacred Flame MATT: That is a three TALIESIN: That’s ten points of radiant damage MATT: All righty. Nott, are you doing anything? SAM: Is the ghost still alive? MATT: Ghost is still alive, yeah SAM: I will fire at this ghost MATT: Go for it SAM: Not great, 12– no, 14 MATT: 14 hits, roll damage. It is adjacent to Beau so you get sneak attack on the ghost LAURA: That’s really good. Jesus SAM: 29 MATT: It dissipates. You watch as its glow vanishes. This horrible low, dull, vibrating sigh slowly goes away and it’s no more and he’s immaterial SAM: You punched that ghost really well TALIESIN: I’m staying right at them and I’m looking for any movement while all this is happening MATT: Make a perception check SAM: Can we go deeper into that chamber? Searching for movement? MATT: Both of you guys make perception checks TALIESIN: 23 SAM: Six MARISHA: 17 MATT: Okay. You don’t see any movement in that corner. You do, looking inside, see in the far back a small hole maybe two inches across where the base of it– of the small alcove– ends. You hear voices MARISHA: What? SAM: There’s a passage LAURA: You can see through to the other side! SAM: It’s only two inches wide? MATT: It’s about two inches wide SAM: I’ll go over to it and say: Hey guys, can you hear us? MATT: As you’re looting the place, you hear these voices LAURA: Oh, Nott? Is that you? SAM: Yeah. We’re in a hole LAURA: Are you okay? SAM: Yeah, we’re fine
LAURA: Did you kill the thing? SAM: No, we lost her LAURA: Oh, well I’m getting some treasure SAM: Save some for me! TRAVIS: I’ll turn to Caleb and say: Listen, this is more your thing than mine, but aren’t you at least curious about what this pedestal does? LIAM: Yeah, I have some ideas and I am curious, but I want to know what you intend. These come in threes, yeah? TRAVIS: Yeah, I don’t think it has anything to do with the sphere; it’s not like the lock or the temple that I saw before. The top of this pedestal is covered in rust? LIAM: No TRAVIS: Blood? LIAM: Yeah TRAVIS: Aren’t you the least bit curious what a little drippy-drip might do? (background music) LIAM: I’m always curious. Can I count on you to return the favor? TRAVIS: Always LIAM: (slicing) (slamming) MATT: Okay. You suffer three points of damage. As you place your hand down on it, you see this dull red glow around the hand that’s placed on the table. As you begin to pull your hand up and look, the runes where the blood has splattered have begun to give a faint glow TRAVIS: Mm-hmm LIAM: Has anything changed with the ones on the walls? MATT: Make a perception check LIAM: Okay. I’ve rolled ass all night, and a natural 20 MATT: You glance over and you can see a faint, matching, dull red glow on one of the runes across the way, just barely peeking through some of the gently shifting seaweed. Looking down at this table, you need a lot of blood to continue to do this LAURA: No. You’ll kill yourself! MARISHA: We saw a pile of corpses! TRAVIS: I put my– MATT: How much damage are you willing to take, guys? LIAM: About nine more TRAVIS: I’ll take 20 SAM: (groans) MARISHA: What are you fucking doing, lopping off your arm? MATT: As you guys begin carving into your hands– LAURA: What are you– why?! TRAVIS: Just trying to provoke some chance here LAURA: I’m going to cast Cure Wounds as they’re hurting themselves MATT: Okay. The blood clouds the water around you, and then you watch as it is drawn like a magnet to the tabletop. As it begins to sit itself in, each of the runes begins to pull in with each one glowing, another rune and the rune (low sounds) It’s almost full, the table isn’t there yet. You have about two-thirds to three-quarters or so. The room itself now is beginning to generally have a red hue to it as each of these runes is beginning to fill the area TALIESIN: (whispering) This is such a bad idea LAURA: To you, Caleb, six points LIAM: Thank you LAURA: 12 points healed to you, Fjord TRAVIS: Okay. Is there a chance that we’re giving this to her? LIAM: I’m following your lead here. This is your quest. I have things that I need to do that are not here, and I am going to need help TRAVIS: I understand. I think we’re good. We can go SAM: Damn it LIAM: Okay TRAVIS: We understand each other. Cut palm to cut palm SAM: (whispering) Blood brothers, so cool TRAVIS: I’ll start to head out of the chamber LIAM: I follow Fjord out MARISHA: Nott and I meet the rest of them LAURA: I’m going to try to get as much platinum and stuff as I can before I walk out MATT: Make an investigation check TALIESIN: I am just waiting for something to move MATT: Yeah LAURA: Ten. Nine. But there were piles of shiny things MATT: I know. You gather in pocket, and counting it later, you will find that you have found roughly three platinum, six gold, 12 silver, and about 65 copper SAM: Boo TALIESIN: I don’t like this place LAURA: All right. I’ll follow them out. I’ll tap Yasha: We should get out of here
MATT: She’s got an uncomfortable look on her face after watching all this transpire, goes, “Yeah. I “think we better should.” LAURA: I didn’t like it either, Yasha MATT: Her brow tenses and she follows you out. As you all converge towards the central chamber once more– LAURA: The guards are floating, following us MATT: As you’re walking, some of the seaweed reaches out and the unicorns (fizzle). It lasts for ten minutes, right? As you approach they eventually flitter out. You all gather there at the entrance TALIESIN: Are we out of the cavern now? MATT: Are you all backing out of the cavern? LIAM: Looking out for this hag as we go, yeah MATT: Okay. For those who haven’t rolled perception checks on this, which I think would be Jester, Caleb, and Fjord, go ahead and roll for me. And Yasha LAURA: 16 LIAM: Oh. Still terrible. Ten TRAVIS: 18. Yasha rolled a seven MATT: No sign of movement. No idea where she is TALIESIN: We’re going to back out slowly, get out of this cavern. Does everyone want to meet me right– once we can see the surface of the water? MARISHA and TRAVIS: Mm-hmm TALIESIN: Are we there? We done? MARISHA: Yeah TALIESIN: (snapping) Water Walk SAM: What’s that? TALIESIN: We are going to jet to the surface of the water. It’s 60 feet around MATT: Thanks to the glory of magic, we’re not going to deal with decompression in the bloodstream TRAVIS: Plus, there’s water MATT: Instant TPK TRAVIS: It’s not air. It’s water MATT: Well, the magic is pulling– Yeah, it’s fine! Magic handwave. It’d be the saddest– Smash cut to the outside of the Squalleater TRAVIS: (choking, bursting) MATT: It’s all just the end of Total Recall, right there in the middle of the ocean TALIESIN: It wouldn’t be a pressure thing because we have water in us anyway MATT: I know. I’m saying through the magic, it all works out fine. As you guys all swim out of the cavern, the spell happens. With immense speed, you all start firing towards the surface (splashing) with enough force that when you surface, you all lift a few feet out and then land. Some of you stumble, but you hit the surface of the water, and it feels like ground TALIESIN: Let’s walk to the ship TRAVIS: We were hundreds of feet under water TALIESIN: That’s why I made sure to pack some stuff, just in case. Let’s get out of here. That place gives me the creeps LAURA: And Dashilla lives to keep being a legend TALIESIN: To keep pouring blood on, well LAURA: That’s true MARISHA: I am deeply curious as to what the fuck happened MATT: You guys can see the Squalleater is a bit of a hike from where you currently are from where you’ve traveled, but it is visible as there is no other landmass on the horizon TALIESIN: We’ll be moving at twice speed since it’s normal speed and not our halved speed MATT: Correct TRAVIS: Outstanding LAURA: I feel like I’m walking on jello, but I like it TALIESIN: You ever see those videos with the (tapping) walking on the pudding. Like that MATT: You guys make your way towards the Squalleater, hail your team, and are brought back onto the ship. The sails are unfurled. As Orly turns to you, he goes, “Where we going, Captain?” TRAVIS: Make for the… Gravid Archipelago? MATT: Gravid Archipelago, all righty SAM: That’s not where we were going before MATT: “Aye, aye.” TRAVIS: Sure it is SAM: I thought we were going to the other place– MATT: You’re not there SAM: Oh, okay MATT: The ship unfurls the functional sails on it and slowly limps its way in the direction of the archipelago. You travel for a good hour or so before you notice the sky that was somewhat cloudy, begin to go rapidly darker, roughly near where you were. The clouds begin to swell and release rain. It begins to rain on your ship, but you begin to push away from this mounting storm LAURA: She can control the weather? MATT: You get the sense that whatever ritual you began, once she felt safe, she had completed and a new storm is being summoned over the Diver’s Grave TRAVIS: Oh shit. We could have sunk our ship MARISHA: You would have sunk our ship TRAVIS: We would have been walking for a long time!
MARISHA: All of that, as to why are there are fucking ships at the bottom of the ocean MATT: At least there would have been a hell of a skill challenge to get the Squalleater out of the center of that storm. As you barely skirt the outside of this growing storm with enough foresight and speed to not be caught in the brunt of it, we’ll end tonight’s game TRAVIS: As a point of order, you were right, we were supposed to head here to fix the ship first I want to do that because we’ve got a fucked up ship SAM: No, you do whatever you want to do. You’re the captain TRAVIS: I’ll say we’ll go to the Bisaft Isle MATT: Bisaft Isle to get repairs done? MARISHA: I thought you were just blind with power LAURA: Yeah, I thought you were doing it on purpose MARISHA: Like, (clapping) fuck that! TRAVIS: No, I want to repair the ship LIAM: I would assume that next game, we’re going to start with a fresh day, so I want to toss in that Caleb goes to whatever chamber they’re in and he pulls out the other book from his holsters and he writes for hours MATT: All right. We’ll pick up there next week, and we’ll have a guest next week SAM: Oh, what? MATT: Yeah, excited. We’ll be having Deborah Ann Woll joining us– (noises of excitement) MATT: Three years in the making, I think it is? TRAVIS: Yeah MATT: At least two. Excited she’s going to be joining us, and we’ll pick up this next thread of the story. Well done, guys! That was fun and Dashilla survived! LAURA: Dashilla survived! MARISHA: You monsters! TRAVIS: That would have been a thing if we had gotten up and it was like all stormy, and we were like (high-pitched) “Where’s the boat?” MATT: Yeah, if that had happened while you guys got out of the cave, you would have looked up and that sunlight was much darker, and it would have been you start seeing the shifting in the tumultuous surface and be like, “Oh, no.” TRAVIS: Hey, man, I have been ordered to provoke every once in a while MATT: Sometimes you got to poke the badger, and I respect that LIAM: I came out of that with a favor TRAVIS and MATT: You did MATT: All right, we’ll pick that up next week Once again, fantastic job on the intro and Kami and Kevin and everyone involved with the music. It was such a great job. I’m so happy with how that turned out. Thank you for joining us tonight, we love you, and is it Thursday yet? Good night (cheering) (no audio) [water bubbling] [thunder] [explosion] (chanting) Role! Critical! Role! [dramatic Critical Role theme] LAURA: Roll the dice! (singing) The adventure begins, they were always beside you, your nerdy best friends, and the DM to guide you. And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead Villains beware ’cause you’re ’bout to be dead ASHLEY: (singing) They got magic and flair, they got falchions and cunning. They don’t see over there there’s a monster incoming. Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don’t think twice. Put your fate in your hands, take a chance, roll the dice! (chanting) Role! Critical! Role! ASHLEY and LAURA: (singing) Can you answer the call? Dig in deep in your soul as the legend unfolds. Now it’s your turn to roll! [fire burning] [music]