Our journey to understanding race as a couple and how we cope together

– Hey everyone, it’s me Hallease endeavoring to persevere as always Before we get into this podcast episode, I just wanted to touch base and give a little context So I really wanted to go into this topic with the podcast to show and for y’all to hear also us working through a conversation And so hopefully that you can kind of apply that to maybe when you start to have conversations with people you love and checking people you love or having to just, you know, open up that dialogue, I wanted y’all to see usually I try to edit the podcast for brevity as much as possible but I wanted y’all to see Mr. Hallease working through something I wanted y’all to see me trying to figure out how to communicate an idea effectively I wanted you to see that it’s messy It’s really fricking messy even when you love someone and they love you back, it’s messy And yeah, and that’s okay It’s going to be messy I just really wanted that to be the thing So without getting too much into it, further ado, here’s the podcast episode Hey everyone, I am Hallease, a Digital Storyteller and Video Producer – And I am Mr. Hallease and yeah, I’m actually at a loss I don’t know what to say I’m gonna leave it at that – Okay This is the Stumblewell Podcast, it’s just a couple that you know talking about marriage, and life, and other such things Life’s a journey You’re gonna stumble through it, why not stumble well with us? (electronic music) Today, today’s episode we are talking about, candidly, if you will– – As candidly as we can, I guess – Yeah, we’re talking about– – Coping – Coping through racial tension as an interracial couple – There we go – Right? – Yeah – Okay, that feels good It’s hard for me to like, know how to approach having this conversation of kind of basing it off of stuff that a lot of y’all have asked me over the years of kinda showing you on the channel, kinda not and like that sort of thing But once we kinda got the podcast going, one of the main questions that got asked a lot was like, “How do y’all handle being different races “in this interracial relationship?” And so on and so forth – An answer that I think we glossed over – Probably – [Mr. Hallease] More or less – I mean, we definitely did a sort of precursor episode to the beginnings of the Stumblewell Podcast, was a video that we did on the channel called “Are We Woke?” And it was like, one of the first times that you and I sat down and did like a longform thing talking about the topic It’s a good video, go check it out Link in the description box, I have Sauron, show notes, everywhere So I think the way we can start the conversation is like, first off, Mr. Hallease wasn’t woke when I met him Let’s just get that out of the way (laughs) He wasn’t woke when I met him Yeah, he just wasn’t And I don’t think that was necessarily like, a bad thing I think when I think about wokeness in general, it’s like you weren’t woke ’cause you didn’t need to be Like, your survival didn’t depend on it or yeah, your safety didn’t depend on it You didn’t– – Yeah, I mean– – Oh, go ahead – No, I was just gonna say liberally minded, yes – Sure – Open minded, yes – Yes – But in everything, you know, as granular as I could to understand things Understanding, no So exposure to stuff, sure, but that does not beget understanding – And for me– actually, I have to say this about myself too, to a certain degree, I wasn’t woke either And I can definitely admit that because when you grow up– and this is something that I try– it’s really hard to quantify how much geography and like, your community matters when you’re growing up and how you look at race and how you look at culture as well But growing up here in San Antonia is just a different vibe for someone whose black In the same way that we, black people as a culture can understand that like, black people from above the Mason Dixon have a different life than southern black people than black people in California than black people in Detroit Like, we all have a unified understanding of a similar struggle, especially if you’re a descendant of salves But at the same times, there’s so many sub cultures that are based on geography San Antonio is a very socially, economically mixed city It’s a very working class city as well and it’s also a minority majority city so most of the people that live here, the minority is the Latinx community, the minority majority is the Latinx community But even within that, there’s Afro-Latinos so it’s like, it’s a lot of different things And so for me, I didn’t truly have to start

I didn’t have to start defining myself as black and being, that’s like the first thing I have to think about walking into a space That didn’t have to happen for me until I went to college, until I went to the University of Texas in Austin where the minority population in general is very low And that was sort of the beginnings of my awakening of understanding like, what it truly meant to be a minority in this country comparatively to San Antonio where it was kinda like, yeah, I’m black and we’re a minority or whatever but it’s not, it’s just not the same here – The only thing that I really have a solid thought on is like, this is a fight for everybody but it’s something that So you can share emotionally Ah, man You can sympathize Not like, as an outsider and being, you know, non-black as an outsider, I can sympathize emotionally And so people of color or black people having, you know, sharing feelings, and being intimate, and opening themselves up, so exposing their inner thoughts in some sort of dialogue then you should feel that privilege that you get to not participate, but you get to be present for it And you can make some contributions, don’t ask stupid questions, and just learn about like, subtext so if you don’t understand what’s going on, you wait til after the conversation But just know that, you know, don’t make the situation worse by making it about yourself The conversations that typically come out of this, like I know enough now that I don’t need to participate in the conversations to be like, “Well so why is this? “Or why is that? “I don’t understand why they’re doing this.” – Oh, so you’re talking about like, the – The greater dialogue nationwide It’s like I don’t need to participate unless someone’s being ignorant But even then, I’m only exposed to people that may or may not be ignorant at work It’s like, I’m not gonna take It’s just, I can’t Like I can’t do that here right now and like, get into it with you when I’m trying to like, rush people past me Whereas yeah, and it’s like okay, let me take the 25 minutes and you’re never gonna understand it but I’m just gonna tell you that everything that you’re thinking is wrong And like, I can’t take that chunk of the day That would be the thing that would need to be done Because yeah, if you could just chip away at– you’re not gonna change somebody’s mind the day of But if you could chip away enough at it then it’s weaker now than it was yesterday But that would be the thing that I would think I could do day to day – That’s interesting I guess my like, immediate thought is how is anyone gonna know that they’re thinking wrongly or thinking, I don’t know, in a bigoted way or whatever if like, you don’t use the privilege you have to speak up about it? Because it’s one thing if I do it Then they’re just gonna be like, “Well yeah, of course you’re not gonna agree with me,” you know? It’s another thing Like, and I think this is like, something that I think this is actually, this is a really interesting conversation I’m gonna have a whirlwind editing this ’cause it’s already– (laughs) Like, even in what you just mentioned is like highlighting all the privileges that you have And how like, you don’t use them, you know? ‘Cause you were just like, “Well I can’t take a minute out from work “to like, handle this when I need to do X, Y, and Z,” and it’s like yeah, see, like you get the privilege to not deal with it, you know? And that’s like the beauty of it whereas like, I don’t get that opportunity Like if someone does something or says something to me, it could become a life or death thing but it’s like I have to deal with it Like I don’t get the luxury of brushing it off You know? – I mean, the only thing to say is like, that’s bigoted And then like move on And it’s like, “What do you mean it’s bigoted?” And it’s like, “I’m letting you know that you’re bigoted “and you can move on ’cause I’m done “with my business with you “But like what you said was stupid and bigoted.” – Right – It’s like, so taking that mindset or taking that action would be something to do – Well I didn’t mean like, your job specifically I just meant in general, like when people say that It’s like people say– – Okay, sorry I thought Okay – Like you’re doing a lot of stuff – That was an umbrella statement, but– – Yeah, like you’re doing a lot of stuff but like, think about it more in terms of like, the people in the conference room Like on the meeting – Right, so you’re not wrong I mean, it’s easy to just brush that aside and say like, “Oh, that’s, “that was stupid and maybe they won’t say it again,”

and you’re just kinda like, just looking down and not making eye contact anymore – Thanks for stopping by and listening/watching this episode of the Stumblewell Podcast If you’re new here, a few things to think about First thing’s first, if you’re watching us on a place that has ads, let the ads play, please That really helps us out – Unless you’re getting some of these problematic ads, you know them, what I’m talking about Men trying to tell other men what women want in a really problematic way for 47 minutes in ad form – You can skip – Skip that – Skip it after the five seconds hard – Yes, hard skip on that – Break your screen pushing skip – Yeah But anyway, if you can watch an ad that’s not problematic, please do It helps us out in general If you wanna take it a step further, consider supporting this podcast and the YouTube channel on Patreon Patreon.com/Hallease – I was envisioning like an oooh, graphic – Okay Patreon.com/Hallease There you get early access to videos as well as private, weekly vlogs from me and then also you get early access to these podcast episodes before they go live for the general public – Oh that’s really cool What a great value – Right? And we’re actually in the process of trying to get to $1,000 a month so that way, the podcast can come back every week ’cause then we have enough budget to do it every week – What? – Yeah, so that’s why– – That’s crazy – That’s why right now there are little inconsistent stuff So if we hit our goal, then we can bring the podcast back every week and there can be an episode and it will be really cool There’s also merch if the spirit moves you, but like, we in a pandemic I’m not trying to– like, there’s merch, I don’t know Anyway, back to the podcast (laughs) The hardest thing for me and why the first few years of our marriage actually was hard, and this we’ll kinda get into it I guess, was that I really had to come to terms with understanding during Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, and Ferguson, which I think was a paradigm shift for a lot of black people my age who maybe had grown up sort of middle class or so, had gotten a few opportunities like, kind of had broken that cycle of poverty maybe within their family lines and then had this whole sort of shift happen in the course of like, two or three years I think for a lot of black people that are around my age, Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, Ferguson ri– for the Ferguson just situation, was all a very like, take a– like take a beat And now I can no longer be the same anymore And it was hard ’cause I know that for me, I had– like I could not be in a marriage where you didn’t understand that And so I remember us having a lot of conversations because I realized how much you like, really didn’t know and I realized– and it made me very sad because I realized I was going to have to be the person to like, take your ignorance of bliss away Like you don’t get to be blissfully ignorant about this, you have to know – You had the talk with a grown man – Yeah, I had to talk– – And you took the innocence away – I had the talk with you And it took– like you, I think you really I guess I don’t know if you’ve compartmentalized it away or what but you really had a hard time for a little while – It’s a complete shift in mind frame Like just completely I mean, I can’t describe where your mind is from and then where it’s going Like I can’t describe what it means but it’s more just taking like, the lenses have come off or the veil has come off And so you were only seeing, you know, but so much And now you see that the world is filled with monsters and then just bad and evilness No, I mean like legitimately just like, oh, there’s crappiness everywhere and that’s not just in special situations, it’s every hour of every day just like, walking out in the street and stuff And so, if someone told you that there were always ghosts around you, well I can’t see it, you know? Like I don’t understand how they can impact your life And then all of a sudden, you can see them That’s the thing that I can describe it closely as And so you’re fighting it because you just don’t– it’s like well no, why would I care about something that I feasibly can argue isn’t there? Even if it’s like, well no, so the life of a black man in day to day American, life of a black woman, day to day America It’s just like, it’s that different It’s like, but is it? And so just slowly turning that away And that whole mindset is so problematic at this point

because people just aren’t willing to see It’s more just the general disbelief and like, distrust in anything other than their own learned experience, which is so singular and limited that it should never have been trusted to begin with And so if the only thing that you’re existing in, again, as a non-black other, then like nothing that you are, none of your truths, none of the altruisms that you hold so close to your heart are anywhere near reality It’s just easier to disbelieve because it’s the actual truth is hard It’s hard to swallow and it’s hard to live in day to day You do it So for me, I loved you and it was important, yeah, one, that you were trying to make me understand so I knew that it was something that I needed to wrap my head around But I mean, yeah, it was just, it was hard – I think another thing for me that I really like, struggled with during those first couple years was also that I didn’t know if I could– how do I say this? Yeah, I really just wondered, I think for me, it was one of those realizations of like, oh man, I don’t know if love will be enough You know? To get through something like this awakening that I have now I don’t know if love will be enough for that Because I had no doubt I’ve never had any doubt that you love me I know that very much, you know? But it was one of those things of like can love get over this? I don’t know And I think that kind of– I remember we did another podcast episode called like “Am I Black Enough?” and I think we talked about that a little bit, about the whole interracial tension with that Within the black community how black people feel about me not being with someone who’s black And I think the argument I made in that video was like, I totally understand why some black people don’t want to enter– even entertain the idea of being in an interracial relationship because it’s gonna– like, the general baseline for being black is to be like, scared, tired, and angry, you know? Like, that’s the baseline that you’re just at And to have to then be with someone and hope that they understand that and how to deal with that and how to like, grow with that, like it is so hard to wrap your head around that it’s like, I understand why some people are like, “I can only be with other people who have had “to deal with this since birth and know what it’s about “‘Cause I’m too tired, and too angry, and too scared “to explain it to somebody over and over again,” you know? – I would compare it to baptism A lot of times, it’s done A lot of times you’re forced into it So like, as a black person, it’s something that you just undergo Going into a religion or just coming into the existence of like blackness, you don’t have a choice It’s just something that you are Your head is dunked beneath water and that’s it And so you just kinda deal with it Other people, it’s just It’s not something that they would outwardly just choose And so you, if you wanted to find somebody who knew what you were going through, it’s like, yeah, so have you been baptized yet? Have you undergone like, that ritual awakening yet? No Okay Am I gonna wait for you to like, fully accept it and then convert– – Or even ever go through it Right? Like the person might never even go through it I don’t know, it’s just like I definitely get it Like, I get why like– I get why black love is a thing, you know what I’m saying? You know? I get why like, spaces of community that like Evette– – You get why spaces of community – I get why spaces of community like what Evette and Glenn have is very important and needs to exist for people Something that I’ve often thought about in regards to like, our relationship and it being what it is is like I’ve always wondered Or I’ve always been a little like, sad thinking about how there’s just so much stuff you have to think about being married to me that you don’t have to– you wouldn’t have to think about if you were married to someone who was also in the Latinx community, or just white, or – Well like what? – Yeah, I don’t even know You have to deal with more than I think most other husbands of other races probably have to deal with – I mean, that’s not gonna put– I’m gonna pause right there

Like, I’m not putting myself on a pedestal where it’s like, oh, Chris has to deal with so much He’s sacrificing And it’s just like, I don’t even really see it I mean, I don’t really see it I mean, there’s nothing else that would be equivalent for any of those other scenarios that would like equate to what you go through I kinda actually don’t understand the point of the statement Like even if it is true, like even if, let’s just for the sake of argument say that that’s true, what does it matter? – Good question What does it matter? I don’t know, I guess for me, it’s always hard to like not see all the other potentials that could have been and then want to draw the parallel of like, did pick the right thing? You know what I’m saying – Mmhmm – That’s it That’s just how I think It’s not healthy but it’s what I do, so You know – It’s not about oh, you know, my journey into it, it’s more just like– – I was gonna say it was I think it was like our journey into it Like, our separate parallel journeys – So I think it was your journey ‘Cause it really started out with you and like, you fully understanding who you were, and your identity, and like the culture, and the history, and blah, and everything, everything that’s involved with it, right? – Right – Oh God, it’s just the all encompassing miasma of black diaspora and you awakening into that, right? Or fully embracing it And then me playing a supporting role So like, what was the first part of that supporting role? Understanding what the F you were doing ‘Cause it’s like walking into a room, “Hey, guys, what’s going on?” It’s like, all right, so first of all, read the room Let’s not Like wipe the smile off your face because today’s not that day And it’s like, “Oh, why is today not the day?” And it’s like, “Have you not been looking at anything going on?” “No, I’m not– “I stay away from social media ’cause, you know, “I don’t like other opinions.” It’s like oh my God (Hallease laughs) So this is why today was important or this is why I was, you know, feeling sad or any of these other things It’s like, oh It’s like raising some sort of like, baby Or like a plant so it’s like, here’s a little nutrient but this nutrient, you know, is kinda toxic And it’s like, oh, I feel so sick And I’m like, all right, now I have to wait for this stupid thing to digest it And it’s like, “Oh, my sensitive stomach finally got over it “Ah, Lord, I hope I don’t have to deal “with another one of those things.” It’s like, “All right, well here’s some more food “with some more toxic in it.” Oh, it’s so bad And then gradually, over time, it’s like, “Oh yeah, I feel okay.” I mean, it’s just like, so what’s the first stage of the journey with us? It’s like you going through the understanding and then like, begrudgingly dragging me along and then my understanding growing to a point where I’m not some idiot asking dumb A questions Or it’s like why is everyone wearing a black tshirt right now? Or like, why is this Stevie Wonder birthday song so great? I don’t get it It’s so long Yeah, so you just like, the first thing is building up an appropriate enough shield or armor I want you to keep all that But like, you’re building up an appropriate armor where it’s like you ain’t gonna ask stupid things like that again – I don’t know, that takes time – Can I say the N word? – No No, you cannot, ever That’s why I think it’s important like it kinda comes back to more relationships as opposed to marriage Oh God, I can’t remember if we talked about this on a podcast I feel like we did at some point where you’re juggling– or not juggling, but you’re like, going back, and to use a Biblical term, like you’re looking at the vines of the grapes and you’re wondering which relationships do I want to keep in these times and which I don’t? Like this one’s looking a little bit weak and I know that it’s just gonna drain the main plant, which is me And so I’m trimming that back and I ain’t talking to that person again – Dang That’s true That’s something– – Just to stop from dragging me for a second (Hallease laughs) – I mean, that’s true I know for me, it has been interesting I will say in this last sort of upheaval, if you will, in this last push of everything that’s been going on recently, it has been, and I think I told you this the other day while we were having dinner, it’s like, man, after Trayvon, after Michael Brown, after Ferguson, I really cleared out my timeline of the foolishness and like, the question There’s still a few questions that I see people ask in like, my Facebook feed, if you will, but then like the answers are immediate and swift and that person’s like, “Thanks,” and whatever But I am grateful that

Yeah, I think, you know, I know there’s It’s hard because for me, I feel like there is strength in diversity I really do I feel like there is such strength in having diversity of thought, having diversity of presence around you and so when like, making that decision to kinda like who I saw in my Facebook feed was actually really hard for me – So there should be dissenting– there can be dissenting opinion and that strengthens and diversifies the truth that comes out of it You’re like, “Oh, I’m just enriching my mind,” right? As opposed to lived experience And so you cannot have dissenting opinions on lived experience And so if you have experienced racism day to day, or if you’ve experienced discrimination, if you’ve experienced being passed up for a job, or being, you know, any of this other stuff, or microaggressions on a day to day basis, those are things that because they are your like– ah, what is it? Experience is perception which is reality, right? So then yeah, if you have that experience then it’s like, yeah, so I know this is true because it’s happened to me It hasn’t just happened to me, it’s happened to my family, it’s happened to my friends, it’s happened to everybody else that I knew who is black goes through And then you have somebody that’s like, “Yeah, but, I mean “in this day in age, “I mean, it’s past the 1960s, “you’ve had the Civil Rights whatever for decades “What are you gonna–” and it’s like, “Is racism still really a problem right now?” And it’s like, yeah The fact that you’re even asking, yes This is like yes So then you have that– like, that’s not a dissenting opinion, it’s just somebody that’s being a contrarian A Self-censoring, trying hard So when you have these instances of the devaluing of black life then yeah, like black couples will struggle through it in a different way Like they have different problems to think about, you know? – Yeah – I guess with me, it’s the point that we were going to get into with this video before we started rolling was okay, so like what are the challenges of– aside from all the things that we talked about between marrying somebody– what are the challenges that you’ve experienced being married to somebody who’s, you know, not black? And then on top of that, there’s the fetishization – I think that’s how you say it – Fetishization of the Its like, “Oh okay, well you two are “mixed, so then “you know, your babies are gonna be whatever.” – Right, oh my God Kill me now – So I mean, it’s like there shouldn’t be Like, we are not on a pedestal because we are a mixed race couple – Yeah Not in the slightest – We’re just some other couple – That’s what we say in the intro We’re just that couple you know talking about life – I actually like that better than your favorite aunts and uncle or whatever – Yeah I know, that’s why I switched it We’re just that couple you know I think if you Here, I can only speak for the black people Here we go, this is how we should do this I can only think for the other black people If you are interested in trying to expand and potentially date someone outside of your race, I think you should come into it with eyes wide open I think that, this is also kinda the same thing for being in non– different race relationships as well but I think you need to have a firm understanding in who you are within your blackness and who you are outside of it too I think you need to be prepared to have a level of discomfort that you’re probably not used to And just know that they will probably have a level of discomfort as well Like you’re both gonna be uncomfortable about things You’re also both not gonna agree about everything and I think that is normal So, you know, I think you just really have to go into it eyes wide open of what you’re getting yourself into – I think– so this is a thing with me is that I’m willing to I’m willing to see and acknowledge that I’m wrong and I’m also willing to see and acknowledge that I’m a flawed being – That’s true, y’all He actually is really good at that – So I think that there’s a level of that that needs to be had by the collective non-black population before any progress is like, truly made Because you do– like in this relationship, I need to understand that yeah, so– and again, I’m not speaking for all non-black people, I’m not speaking for white people, Hispanic people, you know,

Native American people I’m just saying – He’s trying to catch ’em all (laughter) – I’m not speaking for all of the races but it’s like you have to understand that everybody’s historical racial experience is not the same And so when we’re talking about this one black population, it’s like well you know What was– oh man What was that conference that we went to and there was like, some like Latino dude, like– – Oh, the Civil Rights Symposium that I– yeah, I spoke at a Civil Rights Symposium earlier this year – Learned about Benjamin Crump, that was– – Yeah, and Benjamin Crump was the main speaker of the thing – Good to know him now But yeah, so there was some like, Latino guy there talking about, you know– – It was like a voting It was a Latinx voting rights advocacy group that came to speak – Thank you for elaborating on all this, by the way – You’re welcome – But he was talking– he was like, “You know, and it’s “not right that’s why, you know, Latinos “need to come out here,” and again, it’s like, bro, read the room How many Latinos you see in here besides you and me? Like five? But you know, like it’s not right and the black people with that– I’m gonna say it, you can edit it out if you need to– but like with the lynchings and then even like, and Mexicans were lynched too And it’s like not the same Like same action, terrible result at the end of it, but the number, the volume, it’s not It’s like you are equiv– oh man What is it? You are making equivalent that which is not equivalent – Yeah, equating – Equating, thank you By volume, by number, by like, it’s just no It’s like no, sit down Sit down, take your little notes and whatever and go sit down But so like, there needs to be that level of like no yeah, so black people have gone through like, a whole, big, old mess Well how is it different? I was like, “That’s not my job to tell you, “you just need to go and read I don’t know how many “different history books.” Oh, wow So that’s pretty bad And it’s like, “Yeah.” And he’s like, “Oh, well I feel bad “But why do I have to feel bad in order “for progress to be made?” And it’s like, that’s just the way it is Like you have to understand You have to bring yourself to an emotional level where it’s humbling And it’s like yeah, so there was a lot of privilege that I currently have And you know, maybe an action on my part is not helping the cause And it’s like okay, do you despise yourself a little bit as a result? It’s like, oh No, I mean, ’cause it’s not my problem And it’s like, all right, then you’re not in the right head space to do jack And then we will, like, we are just gonna keep treading water But it’s like, oh man, I feel so bad How do we make a difference? So it’s like the disparaging and the self-criticism pushes you– like it buoys you back up into action So how do I cha– like what do I do in this relationship to prevent from being more of a problem? It’s like educate yourself or don’t make stupid comments or don’t ask stupid questions And it’s just like basic stuff like that Or like, having the knowledge base where if somebody’s like, (mumbles) “I’m gonna say something, you know, “super bigoted about that,” and you’re like, “I got 45 minutes “This is why you’re stupid.” And it’s like, “Well you can’t even, (mumbles).” It’s like, “No, no, no “So like I know all the counter ar– “and it’s like nothing that you’re gonna say “is right, is wrong “That’s all wrong.” And I’m just gonna keep– like even if I can’t change your mind, I can just like keep pushing against it But like, you just need to be at that level of It’s like wow, so I feel bad and I know they feel bad about the situation so how can we change it? Well it’s like okay, well you can be part of the movement, you can part of this, you can be part of the communal outrage but there needs to be that level of I am part of the problem at some point Like you have to share the blame to some extent for what’s happening Otherwise, you won’t get to the point where you’ll wanna care enough to change it – Woo And on that note, I feel like that’s a good ending Maybe I don’t know What else can we talk about? – I think that’s good I’m not solving racism, I’m just like riding a caffeine high right now but it’s like, I love you and I’m trying to do what I can to – Yeah – To support you – Yeah I will say, in the description box below, Evelyn made a really great video called “How to Be An Ally” for Creatives for Change last year? Might have been the year before last It’s been a minute but it’s a really great, obviously it’s Evelyn, humorous video about how to be a good ally and I think

it’s a good place to start if you are someone who is new to having these types of conversations and like, being privy, even just being privy to the conversation And that’s like the beautiful, scary thing about the internet is that black people have been having these conversations amongst each other for so long and because of the internet, we are all still having them, it’s just it is now for the world to see I also will say, I will also link to Belief Belief in Fatherhood just did a video talking about his two sons He has two black boys I think Theo is seven or eight at this point and Uriah’s like probably five or six – I thought he was like two or three years younger Might have been two, I thought it was two – I think he’s only like two years younger than Theo But he just did a video on his channel talking about giving his kids the talk, his two boys specifically Oldest boys ’cause there’s two other kids but– – It’s 25 – Okay, it’s fine It’s still rolling Where he’s giving his kids the talk and having that conversation with them I think that’s also something to watch if again, you are new to this because I don’t know if we answered any questions in this episode but we said some stuff, garner feelings from it, let us know in the comments if you’re watching us on YouTube Stumble well, stumble on, and we’ll see you next time